Should I be worried about him or take it as a hint he isn't interested?

[Anonymous]

So my best friend is a guy I have known for a few years. Since his divorce a few months back, we have gotten pretty close. Or so I thought. We communicate daily. Go out every weekend. We both said we didn't want a relationship but both been flirting pretty hard to the point everyone thinks we are sleeping together, but we haven't. Not against it but scared to make first move. He has become very attentive and protective and seems to want to help with anything and everything. We went out this last weekend. He invited me over for new years for fireworks. All seemed great. Day before new years he hinted fireworks show may be no go due to weather. New years eve we were texting about other things but later I asked if it was still a go and never heard back since. I know he was drinking and trying to rig fireworks together to create a big show. So I don't know what to do. Part of me is concerned for his safety. Part of me knows his reputation for a player and thinks maybe he found a girl that's keeping him entertained, tho he swears he isn't like that anymore, and I should leave it all be.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof girl, that's tricky. Couple thoughts:

- First, don't stress too much until you know for sure something's wrong. Guys can be crappy at texting back sometimes when we've been drinking, especially if we're focused on a project.

- That said, going completely ghost does seem a little sus. I'd give it another day then maybe send another text just checking in casual-like. See if he hits you up.

- If still nothing, I know it's hard but try not to overthink it too much yet. Dudes can be fickle - maybe he connected with someone else or got distracted by other plans.

- But it could also be nothing! Don't jump to worst case. Hold out hope he just got caught up in the NYE fun and will circle back later apologetic.

- Trust your gut though. If this seems more like his player past creeping back, don't ignore red flags. You deserve someone all in!

Either way, keep living your best life sis. Hold your head high and let him come to you if he's really invested. You've got this - don't stress too much just yet. Lemme know if anything changes, 'kay? We'll figure it out.

[Asker]

Well he finally got back to me. Said he lost his phone. Lol glad he is ok... dunno if I believe the story but don't really see any point in making a deal of it and just seems like clear indicator to keep things strictly as friends.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay, the old "I lost my phone" excuse huh? Definitely a bit sketchy sounding, not gonna lie. But yeah at the same time, maybe not worth making a major thing out of it either if you wanna keep the peace.

For sure though, I'd be putting some distance there and not letting him sniff any closer to something more than friends. Dude clearly can't get his shit together enough to even send a simple text, who knows what other flakiness lies ahead if you try taking it further. Just play it chill from now on. Keep him around for the entertainment value when you're bored, but don't invest too much emotionally. If he steps up his game majorly to prove he's over that player stuff, maybe reevaluate down the line. But for now, protect your peace - friends is where it's at. You feel me?

[Asker]

Yeah absolutely!

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure luv, you've got the right attitude about it. No sense dwelling on what could've been or trying to force something that's not really there. You live and learn from these kind of situations. At least now you've got some clarity instead of being left wondering. And who knows, maybe down the road if you're both single again things could be different. But for now just focus on you and having fun with your friends! Good call keeping an open mind and not stressing too much. You'll find the right guy when the time is right.

[Asker]

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to answer and your encouragement

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem at all luv, that's what friends are for! I'm always down to lend an ear and offer some advice if I can. Dating and relationships can really suck sometimes with all the mixed signals and uncertainty. I'm just trying to help give you a little peace of mind by looking at it from a guy's perspective.

It sounds like this friend means a lot to you, so I'd hate to see you stressing over it too much if you don't have to. My advice is always just to relax, stay positive and do what feels right for you. As long as you're having fun hanging out together, I say keep doing your thing and let the rest work itself out however it's supposed to. Try not to overthink every little thing - guys aren't always the best at communicating how we really feel.

You've got this! Feel free to hit me up any time if you need another opinion or someone to talk to. I'm here for ya mama 😊, so don't be a stranger. Keep your head up - things have a way of working themselves out.

[strateguy632]

he showed he is not interested in you. move to the next partner.