Did you ever unknowingly offend a coworker?

[Anonymous]

I think my coworker hates me. He is not his usual warm and relaxed self around me but very cold, stiff and avoids eye contact or gives me cold stares. I rarely interact with him and never talked shit about him so I don’t know why he would dislike me. He is not a petty kind of person at all. Did you ever experience something similar and did you find out what it was?

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, I think there was a couple times. One was a friend of mine. I was just joking around with her and did one of those 3 Stooges "why, I oughta" things and raised my right hand to my left shoulder as if I was gonna backhand her and then I walked away figuring she would've taken it as the joke it was intended. She was at least as old as me and would've known who I was referencing. I went about my job and, about 5:00 later, her boss comes up to me ready to jump all over me for threatening to hit her!! I don't remember if she told her boss about it or if it was just her boss that saw me and went off the deep end about it.
I'm not a hitter! I'll hit things LOOONG before I even THINK ABOUT hitting people! Unless, of course, they hit me first!
Off the top of my head, I don't recall any of the other times, if there were any.

[Anonymous]

Well I've been offended by female coworkers and this is the same way I acted
Knowingly or unknowingly she called me a "P*ssy" .. not sure whether her intention was a joke or to offend me
But since I am not very good at verbal fighting and alsl since I have a good amount of self respect... I just ignored her and stayed away
Another coworker later said that she asked him why I am suddenly hating her but I just moved on

[Opinion Owner]

In your case I'm not sure.. but there might be somthing you considered a joke but not for him

[Asker]

I never joked with him ever and remained strictly professional which is why I don’t understand him. Also he sometimes acts nice and then cold and standoffish and annoyed again so I’m really confused

[Opinion Owner]

Oops that's very unlikely
I guess the best way is to kind of approach him in a polite way and bring this up in a non damaging way

[Asker]

What exactly is very unlikely?

[Opinion Owner]

I mean this random repulsive behavior

[Asker]

Okay but I’m pretty sure I never called him any names so do you have anything else in mind what I could have done to offend him?

[Opinion Owner]

Well um.. no
In fact if someone's offended by you and you honestly don't know why cause you haven't done anything intentionally... then it's very hard to know the reason unless they tell you
Cause it might be some random silly thing or a misunderstanding

[Asker]

But regardless of the reason, why does he switch between offended and friendly? I don’t get it. Wouldn’t he remain cold with me if I had really offended him?

[Asker]

He also tries to hide from me and tries to spend as little time with me as possible. When we had to share an elevator he pushed himself in the corner and avoided eye contact with me as If I was about to molest him. Do you think he could act this way because he finds me repulsive?

[Opinion Owner]

Shoot this guy is complicated than rocket science lol
I guess maybe he is not very good talking with women or is just an introvert?
Did this "acting cold" just start all of a sudden one day?

[Asker]

No he was very cold from the beginning. He is rather extroverted and gets along with women very well

[Opinion Owner]

From the beginning? Then it's very unlikely that he's offended by you or you did something to offend him
Are you sure he is not at all like this with other women?
Somehow it makes me feel he has a crush on you lol.. the avoiding eye contact and stares.. you know

[Asker]

Yeah but he acts quite rude and with one woman he is very flirty and charming. With me he acts cold and annoyed as if I was a burden

[Opinion Owner]

He's a weird guy I must say.. :(

[Asker]

Indeed but everyone likes him

[Opinion Owner]

I see.. um.. do you?:)

[Asker]

No but I’m afraid he could report to my boss that im rude or something

[Opinion Owner]

Naah.. he's the one being rude and also you just can't complain out of the blue like that

[Opinion Owner]

Well nice talking to you anon

[Asker]

Yeah but he has been in the company for decades and is way more Popular than I am

[Monalisa77]

Did she call this to ur face or did someone say she did it?

[Opinion Owner]

@Monalisa77 To my face but not in a rude way I guess.. it was amidst a random convo and she said "You're a p*ssy for doing that" and I found that very offensive

[Anonymous]

U really like this guy it seems?

Maybe he likes you

[Monalisa77]

Yes lol same situation

[Monalisa77]

And nope. He just blocked me on fb