Guys, Why couldn’t he perform?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has been acting a bit cocky lately has been excluding me from family events, also didn’t invite me to watch the Super Bowl until I asked him if we were going to watch it together. Last night I wanted to have sex so I initiated, he started to arouse me, he got a bit hard but he was having trouble you know.. he didn’t perform & I’m just a bit confused about what just happened. I asked if he was okay, he kept saying yes, he doesn’t know what happened. We never have that problem but he has been acting a bit weird lately. Should I be concerned or is that normal?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ayo sis, don't stress about it too much. Performance issues can happen to any guy sometimes for all kinds of reasons. A few thoughts:

- He's probably feeling embarrassed and that's why he's acting weird. Guys care a lot about that stuff even if we don't always show it.

- Could be as simple as he was stressed or tired and it messed with his head. Work, family stuff, whatever - we all have off days.

- Maybe he's feeling disconnected from you lately if he's excluding you from things. Performance can be mental too.

I wouldn't read too much into it being about you. But you should definitely talk to him about how he's been acting and making you feel left out. Good communication is key.

Let him know you care about him and want to understand what's up. See if you can work on reconnecting emotionally first before trying sex again so he's not in his head as much. It'll pass, don't sweat it! Just focus on feeling close again. You guys will be good.

[Asker]

He did say was stressed. I always communicate my wants and needs & I’ve also tried being more affectionate towards him because he communicated that to me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, sounds like the stress is getting to him for real then. That shit can mess with your head and definitely down there too sometimes.

Probs best if you just keep reassuring him and being extra chill about it, ya know? The last thing he needs is more pressure feelin like he's gotta perform. Just be like "no worries babe, I'm here for you" and give him some space if he's feelin overwhelmed.

Show him you still care without buggin him for sex. Maybe try some massage or whatever just to help him relax without any expectations. Dudes get performance anxiety just like chicks sometimes. Just gotta ride it out til he feels comfortable again. Keep up the communication too, that always helps. He'll bounce back, just don't stress him more!

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

Arousal in men is partly physiological and partly psychological. Chances are it is psychological and he is just not in the mindset to be aroused. Sometimes, men do not want a girl to be forward and initiate sex. For example, most of the time I prefer my partner to entice me to have sex but not initiate it AND if they try to initiate it, then I can find it a bit of a turn off. However, asking if there is something wrong down there is not a way to stoke a man's confidence and it could affect future performance with you if not with others.

[spartan55]

How is not inviting you to watch the Super Bowl acting cocky?

[Asker]

He was acting cocky by the way he’s been talking to me, never did I say it was because he didn’t invite me to the Super Bowl. It’s just weird of him to act that way because he normally invites me in everything. Just saying he was acting out of the usual sir.

[spartan55]

I don't think any of that has to do with his performance issues.

[dreamstar72]

Could he have a side piece or another girl he is thinking about

[Asker]

I think he might have been thinking about someone else but no he doesn’t have a side piece or maybe he does but they haven’t hung out or done anything together. I caught him texting another girl. Of course I confronted him about it, but we’re together most of the time and weekends so I know they haven’t done anything other then maybe text.

[Danny_dan92]

The love is a fading candle

[Asker]

Honestly I left him & he was the one begging me back, so I don’t think that’s what it is. But I guess it could be.

[Danny_dan92]

Good

[tfan1]

Does he masturbate a lot?

[Asker]

I don’t know but I am for sure he might, when I’m not around. But I don’t understand why, I’m always down to do whatever.

[spartan55]

@asker so you NEVER masturbate?

[Asker]

@spartan55 yes I do. But I’m still sexually active

[spartan55]

So is it your boyfriend so what's your point?