Extra clingy when other men are around?

[Anonymous]

I just met the man I’m newly dating’s family. He was acting very different in front of them. He has multiple brothers and we spent time with the two that were also in town and they were cool, very funny guys.

However, every time one of them would say something funny and I would laugh, he would get overly touchy— bear hugs, wrapping himself around me, kissing me, a lot of touching. It made me a bit uncomfortable and I think it made his brothers uncomfortable too. Very territorial which I think is unnecessary given that they’re his family.

He has never acted like this and I don’t know how to tell him that I didn’t like that. I’m not a very touchy person in front of others in the first place— maybe a hand hold or occasional kiss, but this was a lot.

Why was he doing this? How can I speak to him about this without hurting his feelings? Is this a red flag?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that is weird behavior from him for sure. A few thoughts on why he might have been acting so clingy:

- He could be insecure around other guys, even family, and feels like he has to overcompensate and "claim" you more.

- Maybe he thinks showing a lot of PDA makes it clear you're together. But it ends up coming across as trying too hard.

- Could be he's not normally like that and was just nervous meeting your family for the first time. But still no excuse to make you uncomfortable.

- Might be trying to impress his brothers and prove he's manly or something. Bad move though.

I'd be honest with him and just say you noticed he acted differently around his bros and it kinda weirded you out. Say PDA is usually not your thing, especially in front of others. If he's sensible, he'll understand. Hopefully going forward he can tone it down a notch and get more comfortable as he gets to know your family better.

If he gets super defensive about it, that's not a good sign. But give him a chance first before writing him off. Maybe he just needs some guidance on what you're cool with. Watch how he takes the feedback - that'll show his maturity.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I think he's just letting them know your his