Should I text him?

[Anonymous]

A couple of weeks ago I started messaging a friend of a friend. He was nice, funny and offered to go on a dog walk then we didn’t text for a week.

i got really drunk and text him for sex and we did then woke up the next day and we spoke for a couple of days then he stopped texting as much.

i asked if he was at all interested as he went silent and he replied “what do you mean? I’m confused?” To which I just said “just leave it” and he didn’t text until a couple of days later asking how my day was then didn’t respond to me.

its been over a week now. Should I text him or not?

the friend of him always says how he’s tired of being used for sex, that he thinks I’m attractive but he doesn’t seem interested. I’m confused.

[Oliverlogan263]

Sis, from the sound of it I don't think that dude is ready for anything committed or serious right now. A few things that stood out to me:

- He agreed to a dog walk date but didn't follow through for a week - that's flaky behavior.

- Him being confused about whether he's interested after you slept together is a red flag. Dude should know his own mind.

- The on-again off-again texting gives major mixed signals.

I know you liked him, but this guy just doesn't seem reliable or mentally in the right space. If he's tired of casual hookups too then you probably shouldn't hit him up again - it'll just lead to more confusion and frustration on both sides.

My advice would be to leave the ball in his court - if he wants to hang out again he knows your number. But don't bank any hopes on it actually leading anywhere. You deserve way better than hot and cold treatment sis! Stay positive, keep yourself busy and I'm sure a real one will come along for you soon x

[Asker]

Your point on the dog walk - it was me that left his message on read as I was extremely busy and it got too late to reply

But I guess you’re right, thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I gotchu, my bad for assuming then. Still though, the way he's been hot and cold messaging you after hooking up is sus.

Maybe just play it cool for now sis. Don't chase after him or double text if he leaves you on read again. Lemme know if he starts putting in more consistent effort to see you, otherwise I'd say keep your options open feel me?

No point stressin over a dude who ain't givin you their full attention. You deserve someone who's hyped to see you too, not just when they're tryna netflix and chill, ya dig?

Keep doin you and don't sweat it too much for now. Ball's in his court. If he steps up and shows he's tryna take you out proper, then maybe give him another chance. But for now just protect your peace aiiight?

Lemme know if you need any other advice, gotchu girl! 🙌

[DaveJord]

If it is that difficult for you or him to get on the same page together... I would say leave it. It seems obvious to me that you he might not be in the same place as you are when comes to dating. This could speak to compatibility. I mean if his freind is saying he's tired of being used. I mean I get where he is coming from. It is just so exhausting and expensive for guys to date. sometimes even when you're interested it seems so exhausting because the guy is expected to put out all the effort... and its just exhausting.

But if you're interested in more than sex, then I would text him and say that.

I would be like; "Hi, I just wanted to say if you are interested in going on a real date, I would love to get together with you." Then make it as easy as possible to schedule a date.

Again, if you honestly are not interested in dating the guy then do not bother him. Leave him alone.

[Asker]

He has asked before but after we had drunken sex he’s backed off.

I’m just scared of being left without my message being read or him choosing someone else.

[DaveJord]

Well, that will always be the case, with this guy or any other guy. He might be scared of the same thing. You lose nothing in sending the text. If he never replies or read it, at least you put forth the effort and you can move on.

Rejection is part of the process, so you cannot let fear stop you. Drunk sex was probably not a good idea... but it happened. But this shit happens to guys all the time, and it affects us just has negatively as women. So, it is something you should be understanding of, accept and be able to move on from. But if you are seriously interested, then the text cost nothing to send.

[Asker]

Should I not take into account that he’s not read my message from over a week ago?

[DaveJord]

Oh, yeah totally. I missed that. I would move on then. It's on him to respond and if he hasn't then that honestly is where you should leave it.

[Asker]

Thank you

[RedInnocent69]

A guy tired of being used for sex? Is he some kind of a pornstar? Yes, you should text him a nude and ask him to reply with a nut video sound on.

[spartan55]

Neither of you seem very interested tbh.

[Asker]

I am interested, I’m just scared that he’s not and that he’ll reject me

[spartan55]

Well, that is showing as you aren't interested. What's the big deal about rejection?

[Asker]

I’m scared of getting hurt