Girls, What makes a guy unapproachable?

[Anonymous]

I haven’t really dated or had any female friends

[SallyTho87]

Personally, I don't like when men cannot take care of themselves properly.
Meaning, lacking in hygiene, unkempt facial hair that looks rough, dressing sloppy (wrinkled shirts, stained clothing, etc) THAT is unapproachable to me, as it informs me the man is 1) unable to take care of himself, and/or b) does not WANT, or even care to take care of himself

Another unapproachable trait is when men stand over me. I'm 5ft 1, and it's so much nicer when a taller man respects that bit of space between us, instead of coming so close to me he looks down at me like a child. It makes me feel slightly intimidated and anxious. Loud, angry, loose lip men are also those i will not approach, as i know just by their outburst they are someone I do not want to get involved with if they are socially unaware, disrespectful toward wait staff, or freely throw hate comments around like an idiot.

Looking nice, smiles, eye contact, and openness to WANT company, makes it easy to approach men.:) Body language says a lot too! This could be why you're not getting approached, even if you dont realise it, we women pickup on energy and notice crossed arms, looking down, back faced toward crowd, etc. as signs of disinterest / wanting to be left at peace, alone.

[Asker]

So the thing is I’m non of the first section but in terms of smiling I’m on the autism spectrum so I have what they call the flat effect so you just have a neutral face.

[SallyTho87]

That's okay! You can certainly practice body language and get used to welcoming people in with your body language skills.
Even if you have a neutral face, try to force a smile if you see someone looking your way, raise eyebrows, smirk. Genuinely look interested in mingling!

If you have events in your city, or things you can volnuteer at, this could also really help meeting new people, as you'll be working together with new women on the same task, whatever it is you're volunteering at or participating in. It can also help you relax, and learn to pickup on social ques better too! My BFF is autistic, she gets really bad social anxiety and freezes up, then leaves the entire social situation. I helped her work on this by volunteering at a food bank.

Basically she focused on the task at the food bank, and during that task she needed to interact with other people, talk with them, while packing boxes of food and prepping meals. It was a GREAT way for her to meet people, and she ended up marrying the man who was in charge of the food bank!

You never know where you will meet your partner, friend, or who will walk into your life :) Don't let being on the spectrum discourage you. Try to remember to smile, openly say Hi to new people, and do your best to relax. A smile and eye contact go a LONG way.

[Asker]

I get discouraged because people rather just make fun of me for it and wouldn’t seriously consider dating me

[SallyTho87]

Dont! If people make fun of you, they have absolutely no reason to be invited for conversation, or given any opportunity to be in your life either.
nor do YOU need to pay any attention to them. That is childish behaviour, belongs back in freakin high school. -__-

I'm sorry people make fun of you. Unfortunately people lack self awareness, and most of the time they dont realize we can literally read and see what they are poking fun of, or whom they are making a mockery of.
Try to take small steps, maybe go out with a friend or two so you have someone there on your team, to help keep you grounded and feeling generally okay, while you work on what you need to. Pushing ourself out of our comfort zones is how we grow :) Please dont let people ruin your desires, or have ANY influence on your mood, how you feel about yourself, or how you see yourself either. People can suck sometimes, and that's on them.
Find those good people who dont!