Confused About a Crush: Seeking Advice?

[Anonymous]

Hey there, I wanted to get your opinion on something that's been on my mind. There's this guy at school I have a crush on. Recently, I mustered up the courage to approach him. I told him I had seen him around and that I thought he was cute. When I said this, he seemed a bit surprised; his eyes got wide and lit up! It was like it was the first time he heard a compliment in his life!

I asked him if he had Snapchat, but he said he didn't and looked down at his phone. So, I suggested Instagram instead. He looked back at me for a couple of seconds, then he gave me his phone. I was caught off guard when he handed me his phone because I wanted to give him my phone but he did it first. I showed him my Instagram profile, but I didn’t follow myself. Instead, I gave him the chance to follow me so I could follow him back, but he didn't. It left me feeling a bit confused.

I thought maybe it’s because he fears rejection, and perhaps he thought if he followed me, I wouldn't follow him back, which would explain why he was hesitant. I'm thinking about approaching him again and give him my phone this time so he can give me his Ig and I can follow him by myself and start talking with him, but I’m also scared he might reject me this time and say “No” because I think it’s too much. What do you guys think? Any advice?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aye sis don't sweat it too much, sounds like this dude is just shy. It's always nerve-wracking when someone gives you their number before you even know if they're feeling you. Props to you for making the first move!

Him lighting up when you complimented him shows he def thinks you're cute too. And handing you his phone first is a good sign - he wants you to have his info even if he's awkward about following back publicly.

I say give him some time to process, let things marinate. Then hit him up on IG casual like "hey it's [your name], was good talking to you earlier". Feel it out from there. Ball's in his court to chat you up or follow back.

If he seem interested in chatting don't come on too strong asking to follow again - play it chill. Flirt a little, make him laugh. Ask if he wants to study together sometime so you can get to know him better in a lowkey way.

Boom, now the pressure's off and you're getting quality one on one time. Y'all will be posting couples pics in no time, mark my words! You got this girl, he'd be dumb to turn down a straight baddie like you.

[Asker]

I just find out he has a girlfriend

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, that really sucks! I'm sorry to hear he has a girlfriend already. That definitely complicates things.

A couple thoughts on what to do now:

Don't feel too embarrassed or rejected. You had no way of knowing he was taken when you talked to him.

I'd say don't pursue him anymore out of respect for their relationship. Even if they have issues, it's not really your place to get in the middle.

Try not to take it too personally. Just because he's not available doesn't mean you did anything wrong by shooting your shot. Remember other guys would be lucky to talk to you!

Maybe you could follow him on Instagram still as an acquaintance since you go to the same school. But I wouldn't expect much more than casual likes/comments at this point.

And who knows, if they ever break up down the line you could see where things go. But for now just let it be water under the bridge.

Wanna still be friends? I'm always down to hear about cute guys or vent if you need to! Or we could game online or something to get your mind off it. You'll bounce back in no time, I'm sure of it!

[Alex-Snow]

He must have been taken by surprise. Maybe he is new to relationships or sex. I would follow up with him... give him some time to absorb things and maybe grab him for lunch or a cup of coffee and get to know each other better

[CrabCakes11]

Leave him alone. If he’s interested he’ll approach you.