Does he care? should I be careful with him?

[Tinana]

I asked my boyfriend for a new laptop for my exams and he said no to me. He didn’t even say oh it’s a bit pricy it’s 500 dollar laptop. Why don’t we meet in the middle or if there are other alternatives he just told me no and that he knew it would break my heart but no he can’t. I don’t feel entitled to anyone’s money but I feel like if you care for someone you will at least suggest and alternative or try to find a way to help. I haven’t been talking to him as often. So he ordered pizza to try to get to my good graces but I still feel the same way he doesn’t care. Note he’s not poor he has enough to help me out not that he has to but I thought he’d even just show some type of care

[Lliam]

Not one of my girlfriends ever asked me for money. They supported themselves. I respected them for their pluck and work ethic.

If they had asked me for money, I would have been suspicious that they thought I was a meal ticket. It would demonstrate a sense of entitlement and lack of personal dignity.

I paid for dates, vacations and lots of things for my girlfriends. We had lots of fun together and I continually demonstrated how much I loved, respected and valued them. But I drew the line at supporting them financially. That would be like paying them for sex or being a sugar daddy.

Giving someone money isn't "having their back".

It's different when you are married to someone.

[Tinana]

I think it’s a cultural thing then because it’s more than normal here

[Lliam]

That's possible. Sure.

[MisterWack]

First: You are typing this on a device. A device that works, that can enable you to study, he probably knew that and you asking seemed very selfish of you.

Second: It just sounds like you just wanted a ‘yes’, he could’ve said it in the nicest way possible and you still would be upset he didn’t give you what you wanted. $500 for a laptop is awfully expensive, I’m assuming you have a device already to be typing this. You don’t need $500 to study exams. Plain and simple.

[Tinana]

It’s not about the price of the laptop it’s the idea that he told me “he’ll take care of anything and everything I wanted” now I reached out to him for something I need he could have suggested looking at other laptops or devices or asking to split the cost but saying no without like thinking about oh how can I help her. I’ve never asked for anything I do sound entitled but it’s not the laptop I just wished he at least asked me for alternative to show he at least cared.

[Tinana]

Note it’s not like he’s 24 he can afford to get 100 500 dollar laptop if he wanted to I just feel like he didn’t see something important to me as worth it. That’s all plus I got the laptop myself either ways I just wanted to see how he’d treat something important to me

[MisterWack]

@tinana
“ I’ve never asked for anything I do sound entitled but it’s not the laptop I just wished he at least asked me for alternative to show he at least cared”

You wanted to see if he cared by asking him to drop $500 for a laptop? You could’ve done a “Hey can we get a bite to eat cutie, I really want to spend time with you, maybe later we can go see a movie at home and cuddle”…. You clearly have a working device for studying, I don't know if laptop is the first step to seeing ‘caring’. It could’ve been a teddy bear or literally anything else. You are over stepping a line seeing him as just a walking ATM (at least just my perspective)

[Tinana]

I see your point but 🤭 I’ve realized cultural differences come with different answers

[MisterWack]

@tinana “I see your point”, okay end of discussion then. Have a lovely day.

[_Maya_]

The fuck does he owe you a laptop for? You're 21. Get a job. I worked my way through college. What is your damn excuse? I'm sorry but you sound stuck up and needy not to mention hugely entitled like you are owed this. Did you work for his money? No so suck it up and ask your parents or go to my initial and best advice and get a fucking job like the rest of us college students do. He owes you jack shit. Get over yourself and I hope he gets over you because honestly I'd laugh and show you the door if you even so slightly suggested I owed you that because I made money. Pull your own weight. You ain't married.

[Tinana]

If you can’t depend on your boyfriend then why is he your boyfriend? That’s a friend. I’m not entitled to his money but if he cared enough he would want to help out even if it’s splitting it 50/50 and if people in your life don’t treat you this way change your circle. You shouldn’t need people but if you ever need help your man should have your back else that’s a bro

[_Maya_]

"I’m not entitled to his money"

But bitch about him not giving it to you. The irony in that.

[Tinana]

I’m not bitching about it. You need to fix your mentality. If you have a man he should have your back I’m not continuing this conversation. If your man is only words and sex that’s a bro not your man and if you marry him Goodluck maya

[_Maya_]

You say he has to have your back... with money. If that isn't entitled I don't know what is

[Lliam]

I agree with you Maya 100%.

[_Maya_]

@Lliam thank you. Some sense finally.

[meepmeeperton]

You should stop being picky and making problems out of nothing. How do you prove to him that you care? When’s the last time you cooked him a meal or gave him head? Worry about that instead, and he will appreciate you naturally.

[spartan55]

(even though this is a fake post) Ask your parents.

[Billlewis]

He should be buying it for you right now.

[Billlewis]

I'd like to invite you to follow me, so we can discuss this, if you want. Thank you very much.

[Tinana]

Thank you

[OddBeMe]

Why are you dependent on him for a laptop?