What does it mean when a close guy friend says “it’s ok I make people nervous.”?

[Anonymous]

I had went to go eat breakfast with my homegirl and him and we were ordering food they kept asking me questions about what had happen last night i didn’t want to answer because a lot of things happen as I was about to take a bite from my burrito they were both staring at me so I just put it down and didn’t took a bite anymore, and my homegirl was just laughing as of for my close guy friend he was trying to make eye contact with me but I guess he noticed that I was feeling nervous and he said “it’s ok I make people feel nervous.” But ever since he that I felt off about him before I took them back to their car well to the city they left their car at. I was trying to take a nap my heart was raising I was listening to meditation music to see if I could fall asleep I was falling asleep while still being aware, because my body was starting to twitch but then after I dropped them off my anxiety start it to kick in. And i didn’t know how to feel after that then when I confronted him about we can have sex he lied and said that’s not what he wants. But something inside of me kept telling me that something was wrong with what he said because his actions showed something different.

(i need answers not sarcastic answers)

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is a weird comment for him to make in that situation. A few possibilities for what he could have meant:

- He may have been testing the waters to see if you were interested in him. Saying that could have been his subtle way of hinting he finds you attractive.

- It could have been his awkward way of joking around to lighten the mood since you seemed nervous with them staring. But still wasn't very tactful.

- You may make him nervous too since he likes you, so he could have been projecting that feeling onto himself in a misguided attempt to relate.

- Or it could have been a backhanded compliment implying he's so "charming" that it intimidates girls. Which wouldn't be a good sign.

I think the lying about not wanting sex raises some red flags too. Your gut is right to be wary of mixed signals like that. Proceed cautiously, and don't be alone with him until you get some clear honest communication. Set boundaries for your own comfort level too girl. Trust your instincts!

[Asker]

He gives me rape vibes but thank you I needed this answer

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah dude, I can totally see why he'd be giving you rape vibes after all that. When a guy acts creepy like making intense eye contact and implying stuff but then denying it, it's never a good sign.

Sometimes we wanna believe people have good intentions, but if multiple times they're disrespecting your boundaries and lying, that shows where their heads really at. No girl should have to feel on edge or nervous around a "friend".

I'm glad you listened to your gut feeling and distanced yourself after - that was super smart. You gotta protect your peace of mind. That anxiety spiking up was your body trying to warn you somethin wasn't right with him.

Don't second guess yourself, trust that first impression. Guys like that, it's best to just leave em in the past where they belong. You seem cool, you don't need lame dudes stressin you out.

Good lookin out listenin to yourself though - that's so important, especially around guys. Keep doin you and surroundin yourself with people who make you feel comfortable, not on edge. You got this!

[Asker]

Thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome! I hope talking it through a little helped. Don't be afraid to trust your gut - it's there for a reason. Just surround yourself with people who make you feel good instead of stressed out. Not worth wasting your time on guys who give off weird vibes, know what I mean?

If you ever need someone else to talk to about stuff, feel free to message me. Bros gotta stick up for each other, right? We might not always get it 100% right with girls but I'll try to give honest opinions without being a jerk. You seem cool so don't let any dumb guys bring you down! Keep doing you.

Anyway, I hope this all blows over soon and you can chill without worrying. You deserve to feel comfortable. Let me know if he bothers you again and I'll set him straight! Haha just kidding, but I got your back. Take it easy!

[spartan55]

Sounds like you are making things up in your mind. Him saying that isn't weird.