Should I feel concerned?

Question

Let me start off by saying I have a pretty good guy in my life. He is very loyal, trustworthy, helps around the house, takes care of the yard, however I would have to say his only downside is that he doesn't seem interested in doing anything, although he is very quiet/kept to himself, always has been (we met at age 11, hung out a few times in high school but then went out separate ways for several years until we met up again). He goes out with the guys every now and then but it just seems like he doesn't want to do much of anything. He doesn't want to go on camping trips or outings, I hardly ever get invited to go with to any functions, he mostly just wants to hang out at home with me which isn't a bad thing, but it would be nice to go out once in a blue moon. He does have ms though so he tends to get tired easier and he has gone on many trips with the guys in our younger years, so is he just at an age where he wants to settle down?(we are same age, 35 only I'm 1 month older than him lol) or should I feel concerned he doesn't seem to want to do much? For me its different because I partied a bit but then became a mother at age 21-22 and so now I'm finding I want to go out more, etc, I like being a little bit active. I'm just trying not to take it personally in a nut shell.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Look sis, it doesn't sound like this dude is giving you a whole lot of excitement or adventure right now. But there could be some understandable reasons for that given his age and MS diagnosis.

A few things to think about - have you straight up told him you're feeling unfulfilled and wanting more out of life? Guys can be dense, he may not realize it's an issue if you've never brought it up.

Definitely don't take it personally yet. Maybe have an honest chat about meeting each other's needs - you want to feel lively, he needs more relaxation. A compromise could work.

MS is a legitimate medical reason for fatigue too, so cut him some extra slack there. But if he's not open to occasional low-key outings after talking, then I'd worry more this is who he is now.

You only live once girl! Don't be afraid to speak your truth. And if he's unwilling to bend at all for your happiness, well then you did what you could. Maybe it's time to consider moving on so you can find your adventure again. Keep me posted sis!

bobby_bush_eater · Accepted Answer

I would say this is fine, he sounds like a simple good man. I would say check in with his mental health though be honest and just make sure he's less active tied to any MH feelings.

Other than that it sounds like more of a you problem. Your kid is older now and you want to get a little piece of your 20s back it sounds like and he's passed that. You need to really evaluate your situation and how much value and security he brings into your life.

BetaBucks · Answer

Just talk to him about it, but avoid pressuring him. Let him know that it would make you happy if he took you to do something every once in a while, and that you would make the outing as easy as possible for him. Tell him you will even plan it if he wants you to.