Silent after I told him I love him?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday towards the end of a date, I told the guy who I’ve been seeing exclusively for the last 10 months that I’m in love with him. He took it well, and I asked him later if he loved me and he said “mmhm”. He kissed me goodbye that evening and then we went on about our evenings.

While I know he’s preparing for a test he hasn’t studied well for. I’m scared that I might have somehow messed things up because he hasn’t talked to me at all today.

Guys if a girl was the first one to confess, would that be a deal breaker? I’m kinda lost on why I can’t even get one text, when I normally talk to him throughout the day. Sorry, just a girl with lots of rejection anxiety.

[BetaBucks]

There's nothing wrong with being the first one to admit love. Honestly, I can't ever remember who was first in any of the relationships I've been in. But this dude seems like be didn't want to hear it.

Has he been "lukewarm" throughout the relationship? The reason I ask is that I was dating a girl once and was completely lukewarm with her but she somehow decided she loved me. I saw zero future with her (she banged other dudes while we were dating) and I always kept her at a distance. He may not see a future with you, is the point.

[Asker]

I really appreciate your advice 💕 thank you

No not at all luke warm- in fact he posted a photo from my instagram about a week ago captioning it “My love” and even wanted his mom to see it. That’s what inspired me to confess. He’s posted me too for Valentine’s Day a few months into us dating earlier last year. He’s had his family help buy gifts for me and even attended a wedding too for my friends. It’s been exactly like we’re official - he’s planned on asking me this August to be his girlfriend, he’s military so he’s been in training for the last few months.

I’m really hoping he’s just busy studying… but his timing f-ing sucks.

[BetaBucks]

Yeah, this can't feel great. Sorry. But if it makes you feel better, that kind of behavior is 100% not something I would have done for the girls I saw no future with. My family never even knew about them.

He may just need some time to focus, but you could always send a text like "hey, just seeing how you are and if you needed anything to help with your studying?" Kind of message.

[Asker]

That does make me feel a lot better thank you 💗 I probably am just spoiled because he has always been awesome at texting.

Top answer 💯

[BonzoInBitburg]

I've been spooked a couple times when someone told me they loved me but that was because I hadn't even known them a week. After 10 months he should've expected it and had a proper response ready

[Asker]

Thank you 🩷 that’s truly and incredibly validating to hear. I’m hoping that he’s just genuinely busy - and that this is just a temporary change in behavior.

[DishLady]

Yeah, see, this is why girls usually wait for the guy to say it rather than saying it and hearing crickets (silence) from the guy, who is suddenly internally freaking out or looking for the nearest exit.

First, not a great move to tell him right before a big exam. You could have waited so he's not distracted with this rather than focusing on his exam...

Next, it's not a "dealbreaker" for a girl to profess her love, but you have to know that the guy is ready to hear it.

[Asker]

Totally valid on the right before the exam part - I just figured he had already posted me before saying I was his love that it wouldn’t matter as much if I said the words. I would just hope that after 10 months it wouldn’t have been so shocking

[Anonymous]

That is a bad sign.

[Anonymous]

Maybe

[Asker]

Maybe what?