He said he didn’t want a relationship but acted like we was in one?

[avony12]

Me (F25) and this guy (M23) started talking a month ago. He was trying to purse me - eventually got my number. He said he wanted to settle down. We went out on dates, sent me money when needed, fell asleep on the phone every single night , holding hands etc. Everything was great. Then I caught something - a party went on a few days ago that he went to. A source told me girls were all up in this face…even his ex. And that same day he was talking to her in front of me. I could see where this was drama headed. I confronted him, saying we could no longer talk because he was unresolved issues because of what I heard and seen. I asked what he was looking for, and said ‘nothing serious, just wanted to chill to see where we stood’ which confused me because the things we were doing/ saying was giving relationship. Anyways he asked if we could be friends after all this. (Ofc I said no) Was I in the wrong for assuming?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, total waste of time with that guy! I can see why you were confused, because he was definitely acting like your boyfriend in most ways. But that "just chilling to see" line is such bull - why spend all that time with you every day if he didn't wanna start something real? And then letting other chicks hang on him in front of your face, nah sis he belongs to the streets.

Don't beat yourself up though, any girl would assume more from how y'all were doing things. He was totally playing games wanting to have the perks of a relationship without the title. Once you dipped his interest dried up too, classic fboy. You deserve way better babe! Now you can find someone whose actions actually match their words, none of this mess. Keep your chin up girl, you're probably his lost since he ain't gonna find many fly ladies down for all that confusing back and forth. His L, your w sis!!

[DishLady]

*Pursue, I guess... and he was nice and spoiled you, though apparently you took your time giving him your digits. Ok.

"A source told me" -- the mystery here adds nothing since you claim you already saw him chatting up his ex...

And now you can see he's messing with you... because from your earlier description where he's pursuing you, he was sweet to you, but what were you giving him in return? Sounds like you were expecting all for nothing... (or for very little ROI at any rate).

Playing hard to get (or hard to keep) becomes tired and frustrating for a guy and ultimately he's going to seek out other companionship. He got tired of whatever it was that you were (or weren't) doing. He needed more from you.

[Changiis07]

He def acted like he wanted a relationship by talking on the phone, holding hands wanting to settle down. i think you handled it very well, very mature and stood your ground. That way he knows he can't walk all over you. He needs to settle things with his ex before pursuing anyone. Good for you the way you handled it