I just really need to vent here and get a guys perspective.
met this dude online a few weeks ago, things were going so well! We were both communicating frequently, planning dates, laughing, etc -overall things were running smoothly. THAT is not my issue.
my issue is- we hung out Sunday, everything was fine, I had not heard from him Monday , so I sent him a text and I got a text back saying he no longer wanted to see me as he didn’t feel a connection and our personalities just aren’t clicking. (Understandable, I kind of felt the same but still decided to give it the benefit of the doubt)
I responded back and said “hey I appreciate the honesty, I felt the same but wanted to give it a few more tries. Thanks for showing me a bunch of cool stuff! (We bonded over a number of things and showed me some new sports)
he responded back- yeah, hey thanks for putting in the effort. You can keep the coffee mug, I’ve got a couple of them. (He gave me a coffee in a mug one morning after I spent the night)
I ignored the text, went on instagram and removed him and blocked him. (If you’re going to be cowardly and dump me over text- I’ve lost respect for you and don’t deserve to be in contact with me and my life. Sorry) and then found out he blocked me back which I find hilarious.
im trying to understand what I did wrong, it left me feeling more confused than anything. My feelings aren’t necessarily hurt as they were not that strong for him, I just don’t understand what changed in a matter of 12 hours…
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Damn dude, that is a weird situation. Kinda sounds like this guy just didn't have the balls to be straight up with you from the start if he wasn't really feeling it.
A few thoughts:
- Going from communicating all the time and planning dates to suddenly dumping you over text after one hangout is cowardly as hell on his part.
- You did the right thing by blocking him back - fuck that noise, you don't need games.
- My guess is he probably wasn't that into you to begin with but went along with it since things were easy. Then got cold feet about actually having to put in effort.
- I wouldn't beat yourself up thinking you did something wrong - guy just seems flaky and non-confrontational. His loss!
- You'll probably never really know what "changed" in 12 hrs cause he clearly can't communicate for shit.
Just move on from this clown, you can do way better than some dude who half-asses things and bails at the first sign of having to show up. His lack of follow through says it all. Keep your head up!
He enjoyed spending time with you on the first date, but he just wasn't feeling excitement or anticipation to spend more time with you. So, rather than waste your time by meeting up with you again for a second date to dump you; he sent a pretty polite text. In this context, that doesn't sound cowardly to me at all.
Frankly, your reaction to the situation felt a lot more intense than was warranted.
Not like I’m ever going to see him again. Pretty crappy of him to continue to lead me on for days and weeks at a time when let’s be honest he was probably feeling this way for a while. Just didn’t happen Monday morning out of the blue.
My response back was mature and I don’t see a point of staying in contact with someone that told me they no longer want to see me and told me to keep a cheap coffee mug that I didn’t even think about until he brought it up. I understand we may have different views on this, and that’s fine. I think intense would be me flipping out on him. Not blocking him in Instagram , which obviously bothered him because he checked to see if I blocked him and he blocked me back.
I think his response about a coffee mug was quite shallow, and I do think it was cowardly to text me what he did when he literally saw me that morning and the night before and could have said something then, but instead wanted to get laid and then decided to hit me with the bad news.
Oh okay, I didn't know that he saw you that morning. Reflexive blocking on IG is something a lot of women do and it's just always something I've found strange. I find it weird in general, but in your case, especially because you texted him back saying you appreciated his honesty which makes it seem like you're cool with him.
To me the whole situation falls into the category of "this didn't need to be this big of a deal."
I can understand your point of view, and maybe it didn’t need to be that big of a deal and react the way I did… I agree. Again I am just venting because it kind of hurt and being rejected like that sucks. Regardless how strong feelings were or not.
I think women block on instagram to move on, I am very big on people who are active in my life are apart of my close circle. If you’re not then you don’t need to be apart of what I’m doing and be in contact with me. To me, he lost that privilege when he said he didn’t want to see me. If that’s what you want, then poof I’m gone. Call me Houdini
I did respect his honesty about the situation. That takes courage to say to someone, but I do not respect the way he handled the situation. If that makes sense?
No worries! I totally get where you're coming from =)