He said we aren't compatible in our first date. Do you think he didn't like me?

[passenger]

In our first date 3 weeks ago, he told me that we aren't compatible. It was in the first hour of our meeting. Is it possible him to understand this? What do you think about him? Do you think he didn't like me? Is this an excuse?

[MrOracle]

The purpose of your first few dates with someone is to determine if the two of you have long-term compatibility - at least for people who are dating seriously. And it's not uncommon to discover that you don't have long-term compatibility.

All kinds of things can cause an incompatiblity - maybe he wants to get married and you don't (or vice versa), maybe he wants kids and you don't (or vice versa), maybe there is a conflict with your religion, family history, careers, where you each want to live, or many other things. Yes, it's possible that there was a lack of attraction, which could be physically or personality. Obviously we don't know what the incompatiblity is, but the point is that incompatibilities are not uncommon and should be understood to be a possibility. It's an unfortunate part of the dating process - it's just that women today tend to assume that THEY will be the ones choosing not to continue the dating process, but men can also make that choice.

You should appreciate that he was honest with you - a worse guy might have strung you along and even misled you to get sex from you before ghosting you - this guy did everything right by talking to you about it like an adult. It's unfortunate, but he did nothing to hurt you and you are now free to move on to someone else.

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm sorry, but saying you aren't compatable during your first date, is exactly the same thing as him saying "I don't like you and we shouldn't date"

It's the polite way to say exactly that. There is nothing ambiguous on unclear about saying that.

Unless, he was talking about the possibility you might not be compatible. That's maybe less clearly a rejection.

But if he TOLD YOU THAT you aren't compatible, that does clearly mean: "I don't like you. We should not date."

Sorry.

[quaranta]

I think he couldn't point out what exactly he didn't like but overall he didn't feel interested or attracted, without being able to say why (or not wanting to say it in detail, to not hurt). That is one of the many things to say to reject someone politely:"We are not compatible", "you're not my type", "it's me it's not you, I'm not ready for a relationship", etc.
Well, you will have to go for a next one. At least he didn't drag you for long but cut it short, which also means you'll move on much faster than if he kept dating you for months.

[melanieeeB]

I can tell that in less than few minutes sometimes.
Sometimes when you meet someone and texting is great, you should always have a quick call before agreeing on a date! Cause trust me a lot of times just few minutes on the phone spares you getting ready for a wasted night

[Shiningtempest]

@melanieeeB I can tell a person wouldn't be compatible with me if they butcher my name on a first date.

[coachTanthony]

Maybe he slipped in a non negotiable question that you answered not to his liking. Who knows. Good news is this is what we want someone who doesn't string us along so I would thank him.

[Pinay_ako]

It’s his way of saying, I shouldn’t have come here and I want to go now.
How did the date end?

[Anonymous]

Leave him and never look back at him. Your worth doesn't depend on someone's inability to see your worth. It doesn't matter if he really meant it or not but he knows that the sentence would hurt you yet he still chosen to spit out that violent sentence to you in a polite way. He doesn't actually deserve you. A guy that hurts your feelings or breaks your heart never deserves you. Let him find the girl who actually hurts his feelings so that he can understand your pain and don't give a shit about him and recognise your own worth even if he doesn't and value yourself enough to find a better guy than him and say him the same sentence that he said you and permanently tell him a goodbye. THE SENTENCE THAT HE SAID YOU IS ACTUALLY DISRESPECTFUL AND YOU DON'T NEED TO TOLERATE THAT SHIT

[Usernamesuck]

🤪 she said first date not her husband or something. It’s much more respectful to be honest than carry it on when you know someone isn’t for you.

[Opinion Owner]

@Usernamesuck I agree with your opinion but it usually is disrespectful on his attitude to be violently honest with a girl on a first date when she expected something from him, it usually is disrespectful to break her feelings or heart when she's not expecting it from him. I would definitely say that it's his mistake because he held up her hopes by going on to date with her. Any girl would expect her date to go well and not to get humiliated but when he did that, it's obviously disrespectful and he knows that it hurts her. It's best for her to move on from that kind of guy who rejects her with no right reason but simply because he wants a better looking girl. If a guy is rejecting a girl even though she loves him or if she's a good girl, then he's probably a mean guy who most possibly is rejecting her based on her looks or in a fantasy of the idea that he might meet a better or beautiful girl than her which is obviously disrespectful. Agree it or not, put yourself in her situation and you would suggest the same to her. No offence here, he's offending her and this needs to be understood by her and she needs to make him learn his lesson due to that

[Usernamesuck]

So what would you do if you meet someone and aren’t attracted to them for whatever reason?

[Opinion Owner]

@Usernamesuck there is respectful way of letting them know without hurting them or without breaking their heart, self respect

[Opinion Owner]

He needs to tell her over text or should choose empowering words while indicating his disinterest. Sometimes telling someone honestly in person is considered as being disrespectful before everyone which no girl should go through

[Usernamesuck]

He probably logically assumed she wasn’t that attached to him after less than an hour.

[Opinion Owner]

@Usernamesuck whether or not she was attached to him doesn't matter but it would definitely hurt her in public and make her feel offended. He shouldn't do that, instead he should politely let her know through text or call

[Effably]

The vibe was off. Simple as that. He might have still liked you. Might have not done anything wrong.

Maybe there was no attraction. Maybe conversation felt forced. Could have wanted different things. Its a very generic, but valid, reason. You could always have ask him what he felt the incompatibility was. Just stating that you're curious is more than enough reason to ask. Let us know the actual answer too.

[Usernamesuck]

Well yeah, he just doesn’t like you like that. There’s nothing to not understand maybe he wasn’t attracted to your look, or your personality it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you you just aren’t right for this man.

[serious]

Yes I think that is a different way of saying you are not a match for him. Hence he does not like you

[sage2021]

He wasn't physically attracted to you. It happens. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[msc545]

There was something about you that bothered him to the extent that he was willing to say something like this right out of the box. If I were you, I would take it seriously because if you don't you are likely to be in for a lot of hurt.

[strlb]

Don't waste your time. He's telling you that he's not interested for whatever reason. Instead of that bring you down find someone that will appreciate you for you and all that you have to offer. Best of luck. DM always open

[Finchie40]

Yea he didn’t like you , if he liked you he would t of said that shit

[LazerBean]

It could be all sorts of things. Regardless, it's not going to work.

[Paris13]

He is Not feeling a Chemistry as well. First Date tells LOTS. Move on. xxoo

[slatyb]

It doesn't matter. He reflected you. I expect you have reflected others. That's dating.

[FilmGuy93]

That's what "we aren't compatible" means...

[LiamJHayden]

He was doing you the favor of being upfront and not wasting your time.

[Anonymous]

uh yeah pretty much that's what not compatible means he doesn't like you

[TacosRAwesome]

Sometimes you just know I guess.

[stratford]

How can you know from one date?

[Leopard23]

Move on.

[FeelingGroovy]

Yes..