How to you restart a friendship with someone you were once intimate with?

[Anonymous]

We were a little more than friends with benefits. We became roommates in a studio and now things hit the ceiling. We talked and realize us being friends is better because he lacks effort. He’s putting more effort into a female friend (he swears he’s not messing with but I digress). We’re in a studio and we can’t necessarily separate due to funds and me being in school. We want the friendship but our space is kinda messing with us. I bought a bed and got an Airbnb for the weekend. Everything kinda feels weird

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that sounds like a super awkward situation to be in. Living with an ex, even if you were just friends with benefits, can definitely make things weird.

Props to you for getting the AirBnB to give y'all some space though, that was a smart move. Sometimes you just need to get some distance to get some perspective.

As for restarting the friendship, I'd say take it real slow. Like maybe try messaging him casually about surface level stuff at first, like shows you're watching or memes or whatever. Keep it light.

Once you've both had more time to adjust to just being friends, then you can try hanging out one-on-one again. But start small, like invite him for a group thing with other friends there too so it's low pressure.

The awkwardness might fade more over time if you go at your own pace. And don't be afraid to set boundaries too if you need them. As long as you both respect each other, the friendship could probably work out again. Just gotta be patient through the weird adjustment period!

[spartan55]

Yeah no shit. That's what happens when you give it up for free. He probably get tired of hearing you ask about his friend and accusing him of banging her.

[Anonymous]

Well one things for sure, you can’t even consider a friendship until you’re not living together. You need space to find yourselves again and potentially be friends in the future. It’s too hard right now.

[jahaims]

Shouldn't be friends with someone you have been sexual with