He was flirty and talked about sex before our weekend spent together. during our weekend he recieved oral but didn’t push further y?

[Anonymous]

He opened my doors held my hand. CD alls n texts everyday. Why not have sex with me despite the heavy preface of the flirting about it before?

[Anonymous]

What happens is very much the girls lead, unless the guy wants to risk straying into rapey/assaulty territory. That he was openly suggesting things before the weekend means likely he's no shy in asking, so I would have to guess (and it is totally a guess) that you just didn't give him a vibe where he felt your where inviting full sex.

That said, an equally fine guess might be what others have already suggested, and each 'guess' is likely coloured by our invidual characters.

I'd put it this way, if you didn't clearly present your pussy to his dick, then he's going to have to "ready your body language" and the safest option for a guy is to presume it best to wait for aa clearer offer. This of course presumes that your both comfortable with sex in general and confident in your mutual positions regarding the possible outcome of having children and the relative safety of the desired outcome from the encounter (wether it be pleasure or procreation, and of course if its the latter ther can be a million reasons why a guy might be more cautious).

[Asker]

We are in our 40s and not worried about having babies at this time in our life. He did know I am shy and cautious.

[Opinion Owner]

A girl may stop worrying a smart guy won't unless their planning children. I know plenty of women who've had children in their late 40's and even a couple in their 50's (and they all where very surprised, but broadly glad [with a tinge of annoyance because they hadn't wanted more kids and felt they would not be able to have them]).

So its always a factor, if you search the oldest pregnancy was a 70 year old woman having twins. Life finds a way (though goodness the risk factor).

[Opinion Owner]

That said, you know the situation best of course. What does your instinct tell you is happening?

[Asker]

I can’t have babies so not a issue

[Opinion Owner]

Well, like I say, I'm not commenting about your case specifically, but generally about my experience of with female friends and that statement (which I feel is a common experience amount other male friends too); Whilst you may be entirely correct, not every woman, when they say they cannot conceive, really knows if they can or can't truly, often its based on a past lack of success when they had been tyring for children and that not working out (which as I indicate is not the same as necessarily not being able to have children, but I acknowledge it was deeply emotional for the ones I was close enough for them to speak about that) or a doctor opinioning on what they can see in scans etc (assuming a person isn't transgendered, which would be the only for sure 100% certain on being unable to get pregnant).

I've heard friends partners say exactly that "I can't have children" who eventually did indeed have their own biological children naturally, and it is a hard one to judge because in every instance the girl in question was convinced or had been told they couldn't be some authoritive source.

So I totally respect that each case is unique and, as I infered, some cases are truly impossible; My point in citing these examples is to reflect how that would not alter a informed males attitude towards holding back from sex (if they forsaw that possible outcome and where not looking for that right at that time; or possibly where concerned regarding the girl's comment about not being able to have children, which again some women use as a way to encourage sex to have children, just as some men will not be concerned because they will be happy to just let that be the woman / girls problem considering that outcome to be the lookout of the lady not his; aka none of these might apply but whilst the exist, so does what I mentioned above).

[BetaBucks]

Did you try to initiate and he rejected you? Or did you initiate a BJ, but not try to go further? He might just be the passive type that thinks it's wrong for guys to push for sex.

[Asker]

Nope I did not try. He opened my car doors all weekend held my hand driving in the car kissed me and such and calls me every day throughout. I know he’s been stressed.

[DishLady]

How long have you known the guy? If he's a respectable guy he may not want to pressure you into full-on sex. If he's not a particularly respectable guy you possibly skipped or botched something with the bj, which turned him off. Possibly there's a third, external factor here that we don't know about.

[Asker]

Known thin a while. He hopped in the shower with me the next am. Spent the rest of the day together he held my hand while driving , opened the doors. I sont think I botched anything 😏. I do know he is u der a lot of stress. But he continues to call me daily throughout.

[DishLady]

So then perhaps it was just the stress. That makes total sense. (Sorry, I didn't want to say the botched thing, but it was a possible consideration, not knowing anything more than the original post.)

Just see how things go, then. You'll be fine.

[Asker]

He has seen me every weekend since. Held my hand in the truck and snuggled with me. Calls texts every day all day, maybe he is trying to go slow and build on something here?

[DishLady]

Hmm. I say keep taking it slow. Also, have a conversation with him about his intentions.

[Asker]

I don't know before our weekend it was heavy sexual talk. Then he picked me up opened all doors held my hand snuggled we did other things not sex. He texts me every day throughout good mornings calls etc.. and seen him every weekend since. Is it possible he is waiting for that cause he really likes me n wants to take it slow? I know he doesn’t want to jump into a relationship

[Anonymous]

Unless he did something for you then it sounds like he “politely” used you for a blowjob😔

[Asker]

Not sure since he still calls me all day everyday and we have upcoming plans

[Opinion Owner]

How would this imply that in that instance you weren’t used? I mean at least I’d he did something for you, even mutual oral. The man left you high and dry. Not even saying that offensively.

[Asker]

I don’t like oral. U seem offended. I’m not cause I wasn’t strictly there for anything. What I did get was chivalry and a nice weekend. Must be a usual thing for u

[Opinion Owner]

How would I be offended after I just said I meant no offense? We don’t know each other so you don’t know my tone, but you really need to chill out with the disrespect, I said nothing wrong to you and tried to make sure that was clear at the end.

[Asker]

Ur sensitive I was not disrespectful

[Opinion Owner]

Telling me that I seem offended and telling me that what you do must be normal for me is pretty disrespectful. Like I’m not sucking a mans dick who isn’t my partner, so I can’t relate, no offense. Surely you understand, or maybe you don’t.

[Avicenna]

Maybe he was concerned about how he'd perform

[Danny_dan92]

That’s just how the cookie crumbled