When they don’t see your value?

[ChemGal]

I understand after time we all may take our partner for granted, in some regard.

After years.. it is different from the beginning. But why make plans then not show up? Why not have the curtesy to say you had something come up. If the interest is gone, be an adult and say such.

The excuse that service isn’t good.. I know they have spectrum.

i ask what happened to the spectrum service.. crickets..

I’ve calmed down to where I’m upset but angry and accusing.

Simply just saying..

After all these years, you must have me confused with someone that is willing to be your friend with benefits.

only if you’re going to step up/ show up will I do the same. My best interest is to step back.

I don’t want to get closer to someone who isn’t honest about what they want.

I don’t think this harsh a good man will respond and someone who isn’t good for me will avoid or ignore, which in itself is a choice/answer.

[kylee2437]

Why not communicate this to him? This has been going on for a while because you won’t put your foot down in regards to letting him know how you feel, and quite frankly are going off of assumptions.

[ChemGal]

Each time he has done this I have tried to communicate with him.

I get avoided/ignored.. I’m overreacting.

When he tells me 5x where he is and I know there is internet access. If he can’t make plans he set up. It takes 5 seconds to send a text.

This isn’t the first time.

This like the 10 time.

If you are important to someone they don’t look at their phone and say.. I really care about this person and even though I set up plans with them I’m not going to answer their calls or texts.

[spartan55]

Maybe pick better guys? I'm sure he's been a turd since day one.

[ChemGal]

Why can’t people be upfront and honest? He used to buy me jewelry, we would take trips, and spend weekends together. It’s like the mask finally came off

[spartan55]

Maybe you changed too.

[ChemGal]

Over 4 years I’m sure I have. Like I quit drinking and was promoted to quality manager.

No reason I ( 40 years old) should have to explain to a 48 year old man that if he in no longer interested to quit contacting me to make plans then disappear.

No one should have to explain to a grown person how to be a decent person. IE.. if you can’t make the plans that were initiated you let other person know.

Obviously I’ve made him more important than I am to him so that’s an easy fix.

[spartan55]

So of course this is all his fault, right? Did you think your friends with benefits deal meant you got girlfriend treatment?

[ChemGal]

We have been boyfriend/girlfriend probably since a month after we met. So, 3 years and 11 months.

All of sudden he has been treating me like I’m a fuck buddy.

That is the issue.

If he isn’t interested anymore or wants someone else. An adult would just say such.

Not call ask for date, then disappear for days.

He straight up lied to me like I’m stupid.

I called him on it and nothing.

At this all of sudden he has quit meeting, it’s me always going to him and buying dinner.

Again, he must have me confused with someone that is okay with such behavior.

I know what I offer. I know what I bring to the table in so incredibly valuable. I know that.

I’ll show up the same way he does.

And since I haven’t heard back I assume he’ll never show up.

No one looks at their phone and says.. I really care about this person I called and plans with but, I’m not going to answer their calls or messages

[spartan55]

I'm curious, what do you 'bring to the table in so incredibly valuable'

[ChemGal]

I’m me darling., simple enough.

There were times even if we had sex twice if I did not want to have sex, he would ignore me. This is narcissist behavior.

I pay my own bills and take care of my responsibilities. I’ve loaned him money plenty of times.

Ultimately I do take fault for allowing the actions.

When I do he simply ignores me

Obviously it isn’t a healthy relationship.

I don’t want to wait around for someone to choose me. I’m not an option/convenience., I should be a choice.