What do I do if I realized today that my work crush whos also a manager now, hasn’t liked me and doesn’t like me despite me thinking he could?

[Babyotn]

He called me aside today and since he’s a different department I rarely even talk to him aside from greetings… so I was surprised he called me aside at work.

turns out I might be in trouble at work for a mistake I made and he had to talk to me about it as it concerned his department.

It made me nervous hearing him talk to me so seriously.

but in that experience I realized within myself… this guy may have flirted lowkey with eye contact and smiling over the past , but he doesn’t actually like me. A guy who liked me would comfort me more, when I’m in trouble of losing my job over a honest mistake. He was nice don’t get me wrong but if a guy actually liked me, pretty sure he would say more to me to make me feel at ease in such a moment.

Later I saw him talking to a female boss who I’ve noticed he’s been chatting with recently. It reminded me that he is probably closer and friendlier to others than to me. Not out of malicious intent. Maybe proximity. But even if a guy was afar, and he liked me, he wouldn’t need to be in my department to pursue friendship if he wanted to.

I just feel like my world came crashing down. I spent months or years secretly liking this man and crushing on him with my emotions and it doesn’t even matter. It was a waste of time and distraction. It’s probably part of why I made a mistake at work and might get fired over it. Not directly but just in general if you come to work and keep thinking about some guy you like and whether he’s giving signs he likes you or not… it’s distracting. How can you fully be good at your job when you’re obsessing over someone there emotionally?

it probably didn’t help me be a good worker. And on top of it, It was a waste because if I get fired.. he’s not gonna reach out. He barely knows me. Im

not even a friend. I’ve wasted my years of emotions in this stranger at work and maybe lost my job on top. I’m a joke

[_Maya_]

Well, I will tell you what I said on your other accounts that you keep making to talk about workplace relationships. It is too bad you delete my opinions because I think they could help you. You need to just realize that these people you constantly crush on at work are not good for relationships. As I have said previously, workplace relationships are terrible ideas. What happens when you have a big fight or even worse... break up? Then what? Are you going to be able to get along well enough to get work done without your fight or breakup effecting anything? Are you going to be able to face him every day? If it is a manager then it can be even worse. He might look for ways to fire you because he was so upset about whatever issue you two had. They are just not good ideas and should be avoided. Hopefully you take the time to actually read this time.

[avery58]

He talked to you that way because he has to as a manager. He has to be fair but stern, try not to take it personal. If anything just take this as a lesson to prioritize your tasks when you go to work instead of the social aspect of it, it's better to not mix your work and personal life so much anyways.

Hope everything works out for you, they most likely will just write you up and leave it as a warning. If they give you a second chance take advantage of it and try to only focus on what matters.

As for that guy, you'll eventually get over it. I know it hurts right now since he was a major crush of yours for years it seems, but he's in a new phase at work. It's probably best to let it go and move on so you won't have other distractions in the future, you'll be alright.

[Insanemmebeane]

Thank you this answer really helped me :)

[Iron_Man]

Work it out together ask him on a date

[In_Trance]

Move on