Is it normal for a 20 year old person to date a 30 year old?

Question

He used to play with me and watch me as a baby then he came back into my life at 14 and we start talking and he would kiss me on my cheeks and hug me tight and hold my bra strap but I noticed he doesn’t want to do the deed. Which makes me upset of course. Even when I send him sexy pictures he gets mad I get I’m a minor and all back then but now even now he doesn’t want to get too close. I’m not a minor anymore and I love him but I don’t know how he views me it’s so hard to read him please help

Drackusdredge · Accepted Answer

kissing on cheeks particularly when combined with holding bra strap sounds weird at 14. inappropriate behavior at younger ages is a redflag for grooming. It is possible I don't know enough and you are accidentally misrepresenting it to sound more sexual tension then it was but it sounds concerning to me. I am more worried about the dynamics leading up to, then the 20 vs 30 part.

animesenpai · Accepted Answer

20-30 normally both adults people make mistakes whatever... but the fact that he had known you that long and as a child that's grooming territory

MysticAngel5000 · Answer

It sounds like he behaved inappropriately at first when you were a minor.

You were 14 and he was 24, yet he was kissing your cheek and messing with your bra strap? Yeah. That's not ok. Sounds like he was grooming you. It's good he never had sex with you at that age, but what he did do was still wrong.

In general, a 20 year old dating a 30 year old would be fine. You would be legal adults. Depending on maturity levels, you may run into some incompatibility issues since you're in different age groups. At 30, he may be starting to think about marriage and kids. At 20, you may have no interest in such major steps because you're still so young. Sometimes, it does work though.

As long as you're both legal adults and everything that goes on is consensual, it's fine. I will say that I'd probably AVOID this particular guy though. I mean he was behavi inappropriately with you when you were only 14. What else has he done to other minors? Definitely something to consider and think about.

RingOfFire · Answer

20 and 30 is fine. You're both adults and can decide for yourselves. It's really no one else's business.

But from what you described, when you were 14 years old, what he did was not appropriate. So even though 20 and 30 is fine, I don't think this guy is fine and I would not have a relationship with him.

I don't want to accuse him just based on the little that you said, there's a fine line between appropriate and inappropriate sometimes. But it didn't sound right to me and I would not trust him or want to be in a relationship with him.

Berethor · Answer

It legal for him to do the deed with you now, it odd for him as because known you as minor.

4ngelic · Answer

dont think the morality of a 20yo x 30yo couple is relevant here...  your boyfriend started dating you when you were very very underage and he w

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

Yea, substitute woman for 20 year old “person”, and man for 30 year old “person”.

however, you can switch the two around BUT then statistically and historically it would NOT be normal or as easy for the two to get along.

236color · Answer

Not terribly unusual. Less common than say a 1 to 5 years difference, but surely not unheard of.

BobbieBoy666 · Answer

Age shouldn't matter but it's normal for a 20-year-old person to date a 30-year-old.  You go girl. 💕Two Heart's as one. 💕😇

Apple1996 · Answer

Since it started at 14 that sounds like grooming

ICanSmellTheCosmos · Answer

Yeah... This sounds creepy. Maybe if you reconnected with him at 18+, then it wouldn't be so bad. But getting all handsy with you at 14? Raising some alarms there.

Anonymous · Answer

Ew, 🤢 Yes it’s wrong. 🤢 Specially for  him  to do it. Good job on his part. Staying away from a p—do enabler

MikeTheBartender · Answer

I date girls ten or more. years younger all the time. Don't sweat it

Easy1134 · Answer

That doesn't seem normal. A 14 year old is way too young to be treated that way by an older man.

MarilynMonroe20 · Answer

20/30 is normal but known since 14/24 is not normal at all

DextroShade · Answer

This is a normal age gap. The man should always be older, although in this case he may concerned about being accused of grooming you.

SunnyGirly · Answer

If both of you agree it's fine then it's fine I think

art84 · Answer

My dad was 34 when he dated my mom who was 22 years old.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe he’s uncomfortable cause he still thinks of you as being 14. Don’t pressure him.

Anonymous · Answer

He sounds like a pedophile and as a kid you were a victim and I’m sorry. As a grown ass adult if you have kids and he molested them. You’re going to jail with his ass

dudegreat91 · Answer

That's called grooming

Anonymous · Answer

He sounds like he belongs in jail.

MK1997 · Answer

Fine but your case is weird

Iron_Man · Answer

Usually the man dates the younger woman

Bricealan · Answer

Why not? When she was 19, I was 29 !!!

noohair · Answer

He is not for you.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I'm confused, how old are you?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes.

Walksbehindtherows · Answer

No, it's not normal.

Fuentes · Answer

Yeah it iz

Is it normal for a 20 year old person to date a 30 year old?

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Is it ok for a 20 year old to date a 30 year old?

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