How do you guys do no contact?

[Anonymous]

It's hard af. All I want to do is contact him but he said it's over. But I found out he's talking to my best friend about us so there still may be a chance that we will get back together but I have to be strong and not contact him. But I want to so bad.

This is the last thing he said to me this morning:

[Anonymous]

You just don’t… Unless you need to contact him to take care of a serious matter or a formality. Don’t… Self control is your best friend.

If he said it’s over and he wants to try again. The balls in his court, I would respect his wishes to let it be over. If he wants to go behind your back and say another then that’s on him. If he can’t come and talk to you instead of your best friend. It’s the wrong way to go about it.

Honestly, if it was a toxic relationship especially if cheating was involved. I wouldn’t even entertain a idea of getting back together.

[Asker]

Ok thanks.

[Asker]

And no cheating wasn't involved

[Opinion Owner]

Asker that’s good cheating isn’t involved. At the same time I don’t know how toxic ir was. But if ir was it’s not a good idea.

And you’re welcome

[Opinion Owner]

Asker. Allow yourself to grieve. Loosing a relationship is hard. But eventually you’ll find someone new

[Asker]

Ok thank you again! I will do just that!

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome! At the end of the day he said it’s over. Don’t beg him to come back. You may be in the denial stage of denying its over. Thinking there is some way to save it.

What’s meant to be is meant to be. Again that’s on him if he wants to try again. Since he said it’s over.

There’s a lot of people out there. But it’s normal to grieve things like this. If you don’t allow yourself to properly grieve. It can hurt you later down the road when these feelings come back up

[ProbablyClueless]

I've found that it can help to delete the text logs with the person. Sometimes even delete the person's contact info. Eliminate the reminder and the temptation to contact them, you know?

[Asker]

Ok I can try to do that. It's just hard because he wasn't just my boyfriend but my best friend. We were friends way before we got together.

[ProbablyClueless]

Ah... that really sucks. I'm sorry 😕

Losing a lover and a friend in the same person is like trying to complete a recipe that you don't have all the ingredients for.

[Asker]

Yeah it is. Thanks.

[ariadneR]

As a woman, I find it really easy to. It's hard to explain. Sure I may be hurting but I'd rather deal with it alone than have someone sle constantly around me.

It comes from being a loner most of my life, never being included in anything so I just learned to be my own company

[Nikki1989]

I will never understand why people would want no contact with people they were very close to. Why can't people be civil and remain friends?

[Asker]

I don't want that because we were friends well before we got together. I agree with you.

[kylee2437]

@Nikki1989 because remaining close to someone that is not good for you doesn’t allow either people to move on from a situation that did not work.

[kylee2437]

You just need to understand that the more you pick and smother the person, the worse things are going to get for you in terms of how this person feels about you. He has made it known that he wants space, and he has also made it known that you have made it extremely difficult to respect his boundaries. Look at it as respecting him when you aren’t contacting him because in reality when you are contacting him because of your anxiety, you are disrespecting him.

[Asker]

Ok thank you. I will try not to contact him then.

[spartan55]

@kylee2437
You and I don't see eye to eye on too much, but this is a great take.

[Kelley1]

Just move on. Within the USA, there are a million more just like him.

[dudegreat91]

Just imagine the guy kissing his own grandmother. You'll get grossed with him and wouldn't want to contact him then