Is it flirting if a guy randomly touches your back while talking?

[Anonymous]

I have a guy friend that I've known for a little while now, but not super well. We met through mutual friends and go to several group events together. We've always had a good time chatting, but lately it seems a little different. We were at an event a couple weeks ago and we got talking. We were teasing each other and joking around. Out of the blue while we were laughing he put his arm around me and put his hand on my back. It surprised me because he's never done anything like that before, we've just chatted here and there. And we were bs'ing so it wasn't like a serious convo where he was comforting me. He'd also look at me when he cracked a joke to the group, and if I was laughing he'd laugh harder. At one point he joked that he was really good looking. I'm just curious, was he just being friendly or was he flirting? I'm awful at reading these things.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's kinda weird/interesting behavior from him. A few things make it seem kinda flirty to me:

- Putting his arm around you and touching your back like that is pretty intimate for "just friends" who don't know each other that well.

- Looking at your reaction when telling jokes to the group and laughing harder if you laugh is like he's seeking your validation and approval.

- Joking about how good looking he is comes across kinda self-absorbed but also like he's hinting at being attractive to you maybe.

It could just be him being friendly in a touchy-feely way without meaning anything, but given all those little signals it really seems like he may have been subtly trying to flirt and see how you respond. Guys don't usually get all touchy unless they're into a girl at least a little bit. I'd say keep an eye out to see if he ramps it up more over time - could be the start of something! You'll know for sure if he starts finding excuses to tease and touch you more one on one.

[Asker]

So you don't think he was just being friendly? I'm really bad at reading guys and scared of reading things wrong. We added each other on snap awhile back. He'd watch all my stories and we snapped a bit. Then one day I brought up getting drinks. He never answered. Now, all this happens and I'm confused. I told him I felt bad for messaging him and he asked why and then said he doesn't check his snaps often. He also pointed out another female's dress and told me I should've worn it. Then we got talking about age and he told me is. Most people think I look young for my age, but when I told him that he insisted I didn't. And as far as the arm around me, he had literally just said something to make me laugh and then as I was laughing he put his arm around me and touched my mid-back. It was random and took me by surprise.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm yeah, it does seem like maybe there was some mild flirting going on rather than just friendly behavior. A few things that make me think he might be interested:

- Watching all your Snapchat stories is something you usually only do if you're into someone. Guys don't usually pay that close attention to girl friends' stories unless they like them.

- Him not answering when you suggested getting drinks is a bummer, but some guys will chicken out if they think it might turn into a date. Could be he wasn't sure what to say.

- Commenting on your looks, insisting you don't look young, constantly trying to make you laugh - those are subtle ways to compliment and flirt.

- The arm around you was definitely not just friendly body language if he literally did it as you were laughing at something he said. That's got flirty vibes.

It's possible he's shy or confused about his feelings, so that's why the mixed signals. But I'd say there's at least some mild interest there based on his behavior. I'd keep an eye out next time you see him - if he keeps touching you playfully or finding excuses to compliment, he probably likes you! Don't be too scared, just go with your gut. Let me know if you notice anything else!

[beefcakebradybatson]

Yes, and if he isn't your boyfriend it's quite forward of him.

[Asker]

We've never even gone out, lol. We've known each other for a couple years now but not super well. Just in these group settings. But recently we've been really been hitting it off. It wasn't forceful, he literally had just said something to make me laugh and as I was laughing reached out and touched my back. We've never so much as hugged, so it definitely surprised me.

[DishLady]

He’ll yes. You think they just to the infamous “grab her by the P” move of the ex Potus? They may want too, but society has dubbed it indecent conduct.

[Asker]

Wait, what? Lol

[DishLady]

*Hell yes…

You can Google the quote.

[Asker]

So you don't think he was just being friendly? I'm really bad at reading guys and scared of reading things wrong. We added each other on snap awhile back. He'd watch all my stories and we snapped a bit. Then one day I brought up getting drinks. He never answered. Now, all this happens and I'm confused. I told him I felt bad for messaging him and he asked why and then said he doesn't check his snaps often.

[DishLady]

No… guys don’t bother talking to girls unless they want/have to.

[Asker]

So do you think he doesn't like me and doesn't want to talk? I'm confused now.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Hmmmm. P***y-Grabber Trump's spiritual (?) sons strike again !!!

[thearchjoker]

Depends on the guy but in most cases he's being friendly although him being flirtatious is not out of the realm of possibility

[Asker]

Wait, that's still confusing lol. So everything I described is just friendly? Also, his comment on himself being attractive was a joke. I was going to walk around the festival grounds and he joked that he couldn't because he's too goodlooking and might get assaulted.

[thearchjoker]

It sounds like a joke to me

[Asker]

No offense, but this hasn't really been helpful. I'm genuinely looking for insight/opinions on this. It feels like you're just talking in circles and repeating what I've already said.