If a guy is very attentive to your needs does he like you romantically?

[Anonymous]

Lately this guy I am friends with has started to be very mindful of my needs/feelings outwardly. He even does this when we are with my boyfriend. As we were with my boyfriend the guy is checking in on me asking if I mind this or that, can he offer me his umbrella, am I feeling ok? Etc. Other times he has tried to anticipate my needs and take care of it ahead of time. Sometimes it feels like these are the things that would be left to the boyfriend to do, but he is doing them even in the presence of my boyfriend. Is this showing interest?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh my gosh, it definitely sounds like that guy has a crush on you! The fact that he's being so attentive and noticing everything you need, even more than your actual boyfriend, is a pretty clear sign he has feelings.

Guys don't usually go out of their way like that for a girl they're just friends with. We tend to be less thoughtful. But when we like someone, we pay super close attention to make them happy and comfortable. It's like our way of subtly showing affection without being too obvious.

The fact that he's still doing it when your boyfriend is right there is also interesting. It's almost like he's trying to one-up your boyfriend and show that he could take better care of you. Or maybe subconsciously trying to make your boyfriend jealous?

Either way, I'd say there's a very good chance this friend has a little crush developing. You should try flirting with him a bit and see how he reacts - does he get shy or blush? That would confirm it! Just be careful not to lead him on too much since you have a boyfriend. But it seems pretty clear to me he likes you more than a friend. Keep me posted on what happens!

[Asker]

I was thinking he might have a crush because I am only used to someone being attentive to me like that when there are feelings involved, but I started to think I was overthinking things. I guess time will tell if there is something behind it. Thanks for your response

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah yeah, it's totally understandable why you'd think he might have a crush! When someone is that attentive, especially a guy, it does usually mean they're feeling you in some way.

And you're right, you're used to that kind of attentiveness only coming from someone who's interested romantically. So your suspicions don't seem unfounded based on past experience.

I'd say trust your initial instincts - they're probably on to something if multiple little things he's doing are giving you that impression. Guys can be pretty obvious when they like a girl, even if they try hiding it sometimes.

If his behavior keeps up over time, that would definitely point to there being real feelings underlying it. But like you said, no need to overthink yet either. Play it cool, keep your eyes open, and see how things unfold naturally.

Either his interest will become clearer, or he'll pull back to just being friends. But don't second guess your read on the signs - you know best what kind of attention usually means something's up! Keep me posted if you notice anything else.

[spartan55]

And what is your boyfriend doing during all of this?

[Asker]

Just hanging around talking to others or just disregarding it I guess? He hasn’t reacted to it

[spartan55]

I think I'd be finding a new boyfriend.

[Asker]

The guy who has been being attentive to me has actually said “when are you going to break up with him?” before , but it was hard to tell if the tone was serious or not so I laughed it off

[spartan55]

Ugh, really? Stop playing dumb, no one likes it.

[Asker]

I don’t know what that’s referring to but I really wasn’t sure if he was serious because of the tone of voice and he and my boyfriend are friends

[spartan55]

Good lord, you are truly clueless.

[MasterKS]

Not always!