Why does my husband want to watch me with another man? Does this mean he doesn’t really love me?

Question

How can you share what you claim to love and is yours? I’m so lost and questioning everything about my marriage. He doesn’t know I am feeling this way. He wants to watch me to get railed by another man. He says it’s always been a fantasy of his. He says he will still love me and never leave me or hold it against me. He wants me to send nudes and videos of us to other men. I did as he wanted but now I’m so quilt ridden. I feel because he feels this way and knowing he’s willing to share me, that he doesn’t really love me. What the fuckkkkkk.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I worked with a girl once and one night after work she asked me if I would give her a ride home and I said sure and we worked with each other everyday so we got pretty close but on the way home she told me to pull into that church parking lot so I did and she told me to go to the very back and I did

And she said let's get in the back of the truck and I looked at her and said okay I did and we were back there for quite a while and I could just hear footsteps... God or the preachers walking up on us seeing my white ass bobbing up and down but anyway we finished and she told me how to get to her house and as I was pulling up to her house I could see her truck and I can see the garage door was open.
. And I could see a guy in there walking around and I said who's that and she said that's my boyfriend and I looked at her and I said what she goes I can't explain it to you right now but I will she goes come on come in and meet him I go I can't meet him I just got done fucking his old lady she started laughing she said it's all right I'll explain later well I went into the garage shook the guy's hand we started talking super good guy I mean he likes everything I like we both work on things fix things we're both inventing things making things and we became pretty good friends and he even told me one time he goes hey do you like her and I said she's all right I mean for a girl LOL we both laughed
. . He said well I don't know if she ever told you this or not but I'm a diabetic and I don't have much longer to live and this and that and blah blah blah and she told me that she really likes you so you should actually start taking her out and it just kind of blew me away he said no dude it's all good he goes I'm not going to be around much longer and I just want to make sure she's happy and you're a good guy and then you start telling me what she likes and I was just going on oh my God

It didn't mean that he didn't love her it just he wanted to see her happy he could not please her he said that he had this shot that he would take sometimes but it was too much of a hassle

That kind of blew me away and then another place I worked there was like five of us from work we'd go into this little deli bar and have a beer after work and you get to know everybody in there you know you show up there everyday and I walked into the restroom standing. in a urinal...

And there is a guy that used the one right next to me and I said how you doing because I've seen him and his wife in there many times and he said can I ask you something and I said what and he said if I was to ask you to take my wife home would you do it I said are you drunk you want me to drive you both home and he said no I'm not drunk he started laughing he said no I mean take her home and I said take her home and do what he said you know and I just kind of went well what is this all about and he said that there was something wrong with him and he couldn't perform anymore and he wanted to see her happy and she said she likes you he said that there would be rules he goes why don't you come over and sit at our table and we'll talk about it so I said okay but it was the same thing with him he said that he wasn't going to watch it we had to always do it at his house and I always felt that he was watching but anyway yeah it kind of blew me away because I don't think I would share my girlfriend or my wife I know for a fact I wouldn't I mean I like to watch but not my girlfriend I mean I would watch your husband's girlfriend LOL maybe now I'm just teasing...

But I hear what you're saying I'm the same as you you know you if a guy is kinky like that he's kinky like that but there's so many other things that's going to go come with it he doesn't understand

Second girl I'm talking about she broke every rule that her husband had she would come over to my house all different hours of the day and night and say I have a half an hour come on let's go and things just started getting out of control but I ended up walking away from that because she was getting to attached they were arguing and I didn't want any part of it I don't know what to say to you..

But like he said if you don't want to then he'll be bummed out and that's it I mean if you don't want to you're the boss don't do it then and tell him how you feel that's the first thing you have to do and tell him hey I wouldn't want you to screw the girl down the street and tell him you know with him saying what he says it feels like he doesn't love you and let him explain that love to you but I mean thought it's your choice no matter what no matter how you look at it at your choice

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

Yikes, that's tough. I'm not gonna be disrespectful because you're having a difficult time, but you might have to re-evaluate your marriage. Given that you're clearly not into his cuckolding fetish, I don't know if you can ever see him the same again and have that level of respect for him or if it will be a constant thought running at the back of your mind.

I always say it on here that being masculine is attractive, and no part of sharing your wife with other men is masculine. It creates confusion for the woman most of the time and the respect goes away with it.

I'm not gonna give you specific advice since you're very self-aware. Listen to your gut and follow through. You want to stay? Stay. You want to leave? Leave. Make sure you're being honest with yourself and with him without sugarcoating anything.

Sirenboobzilla · Accepted Answer

So, he has a cuckolding fetish. It's not uncommon. Hotwifing is another term for it if I'm not mistaken. My boyfriend has similar fantasies. One thing I will say is DON'T do it if you're not in to it. You tried it once, I assume to please him, and you didn't favor it. That aline should be the reason you never do it again. Sexual fantasies should be fun for both of you. Doesn't really work if only 1 person is enjoying it. Express your feelings. If he truly loves you as he says he does, then he'll suck it up and get over it. If not, then there's an uncomfortable conversation to be had afterwards.

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

Based on traditional beliefs, you would think that is strange. However, it is not uncommon. It is not that he loves you any less, it is sexually exciting and makes him proud to know that other men find you desirable.

One married woman said her husband texted her messages of encouragement as she tried to seduce a man they had agreed on.

She said: “I called my husband that night shaking like a leaf. Not only was he ecstatic, he wanted details and the whole story. When he got home, I told him everything and it aroused him so much, we had amazing sex.”

MisterWack · Answer

Just so cuckold fantasy, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or values you less. It is just a sex thing.

There are fantasies of BDSM, S&M, Roleplay, Cosplay, Crossdressing, etc. This is normal to have a fantasy, if you don’t consent then don’t consent.

Summeroflove · Answer

I feel like you are repulsed by even the fantasy of it much less acting it out. No this isn’t normal a sex life should be only between you and him absolutely nobody else unless you get a sex therapist.

You need to make a very firm NO….. that your sex life is only between yourself and him. That you will divorce his ass the minute he brings anyone else into the bedroom and mean it. It’s better to be divorced then with someone into sick fantasies.

Because I can promise you once it happens once. It will be all that gets him off until it’s not enough anymore. Then it will be the next thing

Finchie40 · Answer

Sorry to hear you are married to a cuck , and you have every right to feel the way that you do. I couldn’t imagine being in that type of situation to be honest with you , and if I was? , I would probably walk away and tell her to go Fuck herself. To me that isn’t love , that is a perverted motherfucker that needs his head checked. Wanting you to get. Ailed by other guys’ shows what kind of person he truly is , A guy is suppose to protect his girl and make sure she is safe and secure , allowing her to fuck other men is demented shit and could put her at risk of catching STD’s. So if I was you , I would end it with him and find yourself a guy that wants you all to himself that protects you and loves you

RavVid · Answer

It is possible he finds the idea of a personal live action porn show exciting. It is weird though because it is more natural to want to enforce exclusivity with your partner.

When a partner is non exlusive with someone they find sexually attractive there is a good chance they will prefer to be with them. His sexual excitement is certainly more important than the marriage and love. That is saying quite a bit.

It would be more reasonable if you got to say I've always fancied fucking Bill and I'll let you watch if you allow me to without consequences.

He seems to want to nominate who rails you and that might well be someone you would not like to be railed by. Which is rather nasty because he is trying to coerce you into something that appears to be outside of your moral frame.

There is a lot to be said for keeping life simple and I think you should stay away from this

bowenw · Answer

What he's asking is a somewhat common kink which porn seems to have popularized. He is obviously turned on by the idea of watching it happen in real life and knowing how it feels. As with all other things partners are into, both parties have to agree. It's your body so you make the rules. If you aren't into it he should accept it without making a scene and not mention it again. If you decide to try it, be sure there is a safe word that either of you can use to immediately stop. Please feel free to DM if you wish.

Iron_Man · Answer

What a disaster you found yourself in you might as well get divorced. That’s like committing adultery but he’s making you do it. Why didn’t you ask him these kind of things in the beginning? You have to put your cards on the table and ask everything that there is to ask in the book and I mean everything just because somebody looks nice and is nice to you doesn’t mean everything is settled. You have to ask questions before you get into a serious relationship and I mean everything that you can think of now you have to divorce him because he’s asking you to commit adultery in front of his eyes

Daniela1982 · Answer

"What the fuck?" is that you are being a wuss and giving into his demands, which clearly don't take your feelings into consideration. To me, if this is his idea of love, then he is a member of the Loser's Club". Where did you meet this turkey pot pie anyway? Ditch this clown and get your self-esteem and self-respect back. 😫

nessa1234 · Answer

Honestly girl you’re so strong because I would literally throw up. Men are weird and I’ve realize that their sexual desires and fake ideologies of sex can ruin a relationship. What may turn him on could be your biggest fear. I think he had a twisted idea of what sex or whatever it is and I don’t think it’s healthy for you as a woman you need security and u need to know that you alone are Enough for him. Why does he need other people involved in your sex life? Woman do things more out of anger or love. But men don’t care as long as he buss a nut he’s good. But I think you should truly tell him how it makes u feel because this could end badly. Best of luck girl

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chrissykerdock · Answer

people are strange and it excites them i had a girlfriend who loved me giving a blowjob to her husband which i did once for his birthday but she instigated it this was when i was 29 and she was very much in love with her husband as they had 3 kids together and this happend a few times not just once

hahahmm · Answer

Just say no. Be firm instead of making it sound like you're not sure. Stop doing nude pics. A lot of people may tell you that what your husband wants is normal but keep in mind that it is now normal for marriages to end in divorce too. You can be normal or you can be traditional and the traditional people invented marriage and knew how to make it work. Not modern people.

Miristheiss · Answer

Wow, that is pathetic. What woman could respect such a weak, cuck man who'd share his woman and risk sexual diseases and another accidentally impregnating his woman? A normal guy would never want to touch his woman again if she gave it to some other guy in front of him. It would be an instant deal breaker.

ICanSmellTheCosmos · Answer

I wonder sometimes if the voyeur-like perspective of porn is priming men to be cuckholds? I mean, you're quite literally watching other people go at it and not participating.

Unfortunately, this fetish is becoming more and more common. Don't agree it.

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andreasderjuengere · Answer

Your husband's brain is turning to jelly.

Or he was raised in a low class family.

Anyhow - as apparently he isn't right in his mind, I'd suggest to send him to a therapy. And if he does not become useful - kick him out.

Caroline91 · Answer

That would cause me to lose all respect for my husband and it would be over for me.

alice55 · Answer

If you weren't married I would have said he doesn't love you but considering that you're I think he's just really weird

Makeushiver · Answer

It's not that uncommon though I would have no desire for it either. It actually seems to turn some men on but I can't imagine it doesn't involve some degree of jealousy or ill will. Good luck.

DishLady · Answer

He's got one of those kink things that I SWEAR he will absolutely hate as soon as he sees you do it.  Don't do it.

BetaBucks · Answer

His fetish is more important than his love and respect for you. And he hates himself and needs you to exact that hate fantasy for him.

Twalli · Answer

Cuckoldimg is a fantasy some guys have. Psychologically speaking we don't know why guys like this, but we do know that they still love their partner. In such relationships the woman us actually more likely to want to end it than the guy.

stratford · Answer

Firsty, he is a cuckold. He will love and worship you for this and want to clean you up afterwards. Secondly, can you think of a guy that you would do it with?

DrPepper12 · Answer

Increasingly more common to be cucked. Keep discussing it without judgement and don't compromise your values. It's just a kink, not a judgement on you.

Anonymous · Answer

That’s a pretty common fetish. It’s cuckold. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. You shouldn’t be doing something that you don’t want to do though.

Billlewis · Answer

Because love and sex are two completely different things.

MicahRaine · Answer

he's into cuckholding. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but it does mean he probably has some unresolved issues relating to self-respect.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you're just being harsh on yourself and that you actually feel guilty for wanting to try it. Do it! Have fun! Try it with a black guy. ☺️

nawtee_me · Answer

Was the other guy someone he knows or just someone you know? I am just trying to understand too. Is the something the other guy wanted so your husband let him have you?

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

He's sick in the head. Don't do it just leave him.

DextroShade · Answer

You married a perverted weirdo. You should just leave him and find a real man.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you he's just into that. He's a voyeur. How do you feel about being with another man in front of him!!!

OddBeMe · Answer

No it’s a voyeuristic fantasy. He should prob get help.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

He doesn't value you as a husband should treasure his wife.

Anonymous · Answer

It means he is brazen faced and has no self respect and dignity as well.

MasterKS · Answer

Dont be shock, it happens way too often then you think!

slatyb · Answer

Just say "Sorry, I can't do that."

thearchjoker · Answer

Sounds like you landed on a cuck

noohair · Answer

It is a fetish. Did you know this going in?

Anonymous · Answer

He's a pansy cuckcold

Anonymous · Answer

He's gay.

Anonymous · Answer

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Why does my husband want to watch me with another man? Does this mean he doesn’t really love me?

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