When women talk about the things they find attractive in men, its usually men they're already attracted to. True or false?

[Chthou95]

True

False

[Summeroflove]

Absolutely! It’s just like how men do to pretty women. A lot of people idolize someone else and just paint this perfect picture inside of their head of somebody else (narcissists are the worst about it) then just start excusing every red flag about the other person.

This is NOT healthy to do, at the same time some people see the worst in everyone and even take green flags making them into something it’s not.

Unfortunately people get too carried away with infatuation so they just make someone out to be perfect, even excusing all of the things that are toxic. Just making reasons as to why it’s not a big deal.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Seems like a catch 22. What do u think the alternative would be?

[Chthou95]

If he ain't attractive, you're not gonna give a shit about any of his hobbies or interest. This goes for men as well

[GOLDFISH_smile]

How do you describe what ur attracted to if u can't say any examples from people ur attracted to? That seems impossible.

[Chthou95]

If you're attracted to someone, you'll be interested in any hobbies they have or respect it

[GOLDFISH_smile]

What makes you attracted to them?

[Chthou95]

Their looks first. If i find her physically attractive then i want to get to know her better

[GOLDFISH_smile]

But how do u know the looks make you attracted to them, instead of the other way around? What if you only like their looks because you're already attracted to them?

[Chthou95]

Ugh because when i look at her, my brain sees something that looks good and is visually pleasing so i go from there.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

But how do u know it doesn't just do that bc you're already attracted to the person, so u would see any way they look as visually pleasing bc of that?
It seems like the same problem u have with women saying hobbies they find attractive. There's no way to know if tu really find it attractive or if u just think u do bc u already find the person attractive, so ull like whatever their looks & hobbies are.

[Chthou95]

I wouldn't already be attracted to them if im not physically attracted first. But i see what you're saying. And honestly you can make a grear argument that you only care about said things your partner does because of physical attraction

[GOLDFISH_smile]

So u believe you know the way the you personally are attracted to people, and that that must be the same way for everyone else? Cuz I understand what ur saying that for u its first physical attraction, that totally makes sense. But for other people like me things like hobbies & interests can make a huge difference, especially b4 seeing physically. Maybe some people are misunderstanding like u say. A lot may just not be attracted the same way u are.

[Chthou95]

Generally speaking looks attract, personality keeps. That's the way it is for most people

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Apparently not, if most women you've talked to about this say otherwise, like I have for me personally.

[Chthou95]

There's what womem say and then there's what womem respond to. It usually starts with looks first

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Maybe it's both for most people then, and looks more often happens first? That doesn't mean other things don't matter, but whatever happens first will rule out some of the other that would have been ruled out anyway but later, and some don't get ruled out at first but will be ruled out later bc of the other things that you find out after looks. U know what I mean or want me to try & explain better with like an example or something?

[Chthou95]

I understand you but that does mean i agree with you. Looks in general start the physical attraction

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Wym by "start"? Obviously if someone sees a person b4 knowing anything else about them, & they like their look, that starts the attraction. Even if that's not the main most important part of attraction for that person.

[Chthou95]

That's exactly what im talking about. Why is that confusing you?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Bc that's what I just said so I wasn't sure if u were just repeating it to make sure u understood, or if u were trying to say something different & I misunderstood.

[itsannalee]

It’s happening on both sides.
Guys and girls are the same

[Chthou95]

How are they the same if women are more politically correct and virtue signal more than men

[SweetDripp]

Possibly true initially, but eventually they will drop you if you are toxic.

[Chthou95]

a lot of them and a lot of them will even lie to themselves and try to rationalize why they're still with the man

[SweetDripp]

That's probably true

[Walksbehindtherows]

Nonsense