Why does he do that?

[Anonymous]

I have a guy friend. When we meet up together and chat, we have so much fun and I can feel that he values me as a friend. But in places like university or some situations like people who we both know present, he isn't sincere as he was in our meetings. He says hi or something but doesn't smile like he used to do. And it makes me think that he doesn't like me anymore. But then he texts and says that he wants to meet up again. And it goes like that. What should I do? Should I ask him if I make him uncomfortable?

[SueShe]

That is the type of man that will try to impress you on a one-to-one basis because he has very specific intentions but will not make others known about it and that is why he is giving you the cold shoulder when in public or with friends.


Either he is afraid of what others may think of him if he is seen in your company or he is afraid of competitors should he show too much interest when with others.


In any case, I see him as someone that is not worth trusting as he will stab you in the back if he feels that someone has seen right through him.


If I were to be in that situation, I would never let him get too close because he shows he is not trustworthy.

[Asker]

Oh really? I’m a bit sad to hear that but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Thank you so much for the opinions. 🩷

[SueShe]

Thanks for the MHO

[ɹǝʇʇɐɥpɐW]

From the sounds of it, I think it may be the opposite. You make him comfortable. It's being around other people that makes him uncomfortable. Though obviously I don't know the guy. How long have you known him? Has he always been uncomfortable with crowds or strangers? Introverted type?

Or is this a new behavior? Is it only with you? Communication is good. If you're concerned, sure, talk to him. Just be careful with your wording so he's not on the defensive.

[Asker]

We have known each other for years but we got close just a month ago. I think he is comfortable around other people we know, and he is a very social person. But I really haven't thought like you said. You may be right. I'll try to observe more.
Thank you so much for advices.

[razelove]

Well, you are friends, not potential partners. Is he talking to other girls in those settings?

It would be really awkward to bring another girl in who is "just a friend" if that's the case. Unless he's bringing you in from the beginning as a wingman. Try offering to be a wingman and see if it plays out any different. If it's the same he could just be an introvert.

[Asker]

He says he is not into any relationship right now, so every girl he talks to are ‘just friends’. That’s what he said.
Thanks for your opinions.

[razelove]

He's making his intentions pretty clear then. If you're alone he'll share a bed and attention with you. If there are other people, especially women, he's looking for someone else.

You have zero reason to tolerate it unless you want to. Seems like he has quite a cozy set-up. I just hope he's wearing condoms or he may be dealing with STDs and baby mama drama.

I never got why women put up with it, but enough will that you can set something like that up.

[Asker]

You misunderstood it, i think. We are just friends and we just talk. I have never touched him, nor he did.
We just had some coffee and meals together and that's all.

[razelove]

Then I'm completely missing the issue here. He doesn't want you to cockblock him if he does meet a girl that could be his girlfriend. Do you just want to hang on his arm and prevent him from getting other women?

Please clearly state how you would like him to treat you.

[Asker]

Ok, we are friends. And when I see a friend who is close to me, I always try to greet them sincerely. He is doing that to his other guy or girl friends. He acts like that to me when we are alone too, but when we are in uni, he acts colder. So, it bothers me because none of my friends acted like that towards me.
I don't get what you try to hint, I'm not interested in 'hanging on his arm'.
Thanks for your interest, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

[razelove]

Alright, he has you as a friend. You aren't sexual in any way. There is zero benefit to publicly being friends with you if there are other women that he could potentially pursue a relationship with.

If around people that he knows the status of already, the friend group, he doesn't care. University is kind of a big wife hunting ground for guys, ideal age, more women than men. It isn't like you're talking him up to your friends and bringing prospects in...

[Jmmmfi4]

HE'S PROBABLY JUST A LITTLE SOCIALLY awkward