I went on a first date with a guy what to think of the outcome?

[Anonymous]

So we Had a first date, we went on a walk in the park. Then went for food he asked if we should try see what is on at the cinemas I said if you want and then he said it’s up to you, we went for a long drive instead. There were a lot of long silences during the date.

prior to the date he use to text and ring me a lot.

the date lasted about 2 hours and a half. I was quite tense as we had a bit of an argument the night before. At the end of the date he said I have two options and asked if I wanted to come to his for a bit or if he should walk me to the car.

I said I’ll just go back to my car. He hugged me and said text me when you get home. I text him saying ‘nice seeing you and I’m home now 🙌🏽’ he responded with ‘happy you got home safe 🙃’ I also rang him but he didn’t pick up.

do I assume he’s not interested? I’m so confused 😒

[noohair]

The first date is high stress for both of you. A guy does not want to make a mistake and say something stupid. Don't ever be confused, try perplexed. If he asks, will you go for a second date?

[LiamJHayden]

1. He wanted sex on the first date.
2. He might be interested but I would suspect his interests are primarily prurient.

[Decoded93]

He’s interested but her thinks you aren’t

[Asker]

Ah I think you might be right we’ve been texting now and I’ve just let him know

[Decoded93]

Sometimes a guy just needs to be told “I am interested but want to take it slow “! That’s not a problem for most guys, we appreciate honesty

[Asker]

Thankyou I will make sure of that.

I also wanted to say before we met he use to ring and text a lot and would be bothered when I don’t pick up. He’s completely toned it down now and uses this emoji instead 😅.

What could be the reason of this after our first date?

[Decoded93]

He probably is playing the long game and doesn’t want to be over bearing, what kind of texts does he respond to using that emoji?

[Asker]

Sorry what do you mean by the long game?

So basically he said “I ran out of ideas so thought to watch a film or something 🤷‍♂️😅

(This was in response to our date)

[Decoded93]

Long game is when the guy wants more than casual stuff, he wants a relationship

That sounds like he’s sweating lol doesn’t want to screw it up with you!

What do YOU want with him?

[Asker]

Oh okay I understand. Oh really that’s amazing 🥲.

I’d love to have a relationship with him and something long term. He did say right from the beginning he’s wanting to find something serious and long term but he wants to see how things go with our first date and take it from there

[Decoded93]

How have your dates gone? Like what do you talk about, what is the vibe? It sounds like you both want the same thing and that’s rare and special

[Asker]

So we’ve actually only had our first date today. And the tone has completely changed with him he appears to be more relaxed and not bombarding me with messages etc.

The date today was good, I think there was some awkward silences and tension from the argument but overall was okay.

Thank you ☺️

[Decoded93]

What did you argue about? And that’s a good sign that it’s more relaxed! He seems more comfortable, have a second date as soon as you can to continue while the iron is hot!

And you’re welcome! If you ever want to ask me stuff you can message me too :) or just say stuff here

[Asker]

Basically we argued about him talking about sexual stuff I said it’s too early for that. So I wasn’t going to meet him. Then he sent a lot of texts and explained he just wants me to be more open minded. He kept his boundaries when we met and didn’t try anything sexual.

Thank you so much I appreciate it your advice has been so helpful 🙏

[Decoded93]

Ahh the sexual stuff can cause a lot of tension! Definitely tell him you’re not ready and stick to your guns, eventually there will be a lot of build up and it’ll be explosive when it happens and he’ll be a happy dude! But he needs to think with his actual head when it comes to his relationship with you lol

No problem I hope I’m helping :)

[Asker]

Yes it can cause a lot of tension! I will always stick to my beliefs. I agree.

Yeah ahah, does it sound like he’s kind of trying with keeping the boundaries as he didn’t try anything today?

You definitely are helping thank you!

[Decoded93]

Yeah he doesn’t want to mess it up with you! He’s probably so attracted he doesn’t want to push you too far, just keep it up and go sloooow

Haha I’m glad!! No problem! :)

[Asker]

Thank you! When he said it’s a shame I didn’t stay to watch movies, I said to him ‘I wanted to spend more time with you but I couldn’t tell if you were feeling it or not or just being polite so I went 🤷🏽‍♀️’

He responded with : ‘I wouldn’t be polite you know me. I say it how it is.’

[Decoded93]

Maybe he wanted to do the classic arm over your shoulder and hold you ;) but doing stuff at the movies is risky nowadays cause it’s public, I think he just wanted a relaxing environment where he was t under pressure to converse, some guys aren’t good talkers, especially in person, especially on first dates!

[Asker]

Sorry I meand he ran out of ideas and thought for me to come to his and watch movies for a bit. He lives with his grandad.

However I wasn’t sure if he was interested in me after the first date. So I just went home instead. I totally understand I think he did want to just be relaxed 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Decoded93]

Oh yes sorry I remember now, yeah I think that was a Netflix and chill kinda invitation, and just cause he lives with his grandad doesn’t mean he can’t get privacy with you! I’m sure eventually you’ll be ready to watch Netflix with him and he’ll be super stoked for that! Just remember you have the power and you can pace things the way you want

[Asker]

Thankyou I agree. I have not heard back from him yet it’s been since 10pm yesterday 🤷🏽‍♀️ the last message I sent was ‘it would have been really nice to watch movies, you did amazing though it was all chilled. Ah okay I honestly wasn’t sure how you were feeling 🤷🏽‍♀️’

Do you have any opinions on what he could be feeling right now? Or why he hasn’t responded

[Decoded93]

He might just be busy, and pacing himself, he could be a little frustrated that things aren’t going as fast as normal but he’s keeping himself in check so he doesn’t put pressure on you, and he might even be waiting on purpose to build up suspense, but clearly you’re a special lady so he should be into you

[Asker]

Ah do you think so, I feel like he is waiting on purpose cos he’s usually a quick texter 🤷🏽‍♀️

He says he is straight up about everything.

Do you think I should text him at all again or wait for him to reply to my text? Also if I was to text him what would be the best thing to say?

Thank you I really appreciate that

[Decoded93]

You could text him again if you wanna convey you are SERIOUSLY interested, it could actually help things, I’m thinking if I was him and I was waiting on purpose to keep pace but I was really into you that text might break that ahaha

You could say something cute and short like “hey, thinking about you!”

Honestly a lot of guys love a little bit clingy because they feel more secure and if he’s genuinely being honest about all his feelings and he also wants things to move forward really badly this could actually comfort him

[Asker]

Yeah I’m just not the type of person to show my actual feelings but in a way that could make things worse at times. As I think I’ve made it look like I’m not that interested but in fact I really am I just hope he sees that.

I have texted him saying Heyy thinking about you😅 Regardless of what he says or if he doesn’t reply at least I have no regrets 🤷🏽‍♀️ and at least I will know where I stand with him

[Decoded93]

I think he’ll stick around and stay interested! You seem really sweet and he seems attracted in multiple ways from what you say, when he’s playing the long game he could be purposely not responding to make you think he isn’t desperate and is actually worthy of you, it’s just the game of love to some men, they feel the need to play to get what they REALLY want, which is you

[Asker]

Thank you you’re so sweet. He said he’s really extroverted and doesn’t get nervous. However when I first saw him he was feeling a little shy and I went in for a hug and then he hugged me back.

On the date he was driving and he put his hand on my thigh. I wanted to show interest so I just held his hand instead. I think he did appreciate it and we were holding hands for a good 10 mins.

I feel like it’s just this next text I’m waiting for now and then I will be sure of what’s happening here 🤷🏽‍♀️

You’ve given me such great advice and it’s all been right thank you so much 🙏

[Decoded93]

Aww that’s cute, I’m glad you’re able to steer it the way you want and he’s going along with it and not pushing you but respecting your decisions! That’s a really good sign

I have a feeling you’re not the typical woman that he dates, he probably dates women that are ok with going a little faster, but you demand more of him and it’s obvious you aren’t putting up with any bs so that might make him feel nervous/like he needs to be on his best behaviour!

The hand holding sounds so sweet and he’s clearly very attracted if he put his hand on your thigh!

And no problem I’m glad I could help you :) it’s nice talking about it!

[Asker]

Thank you I agree, I was really shocked with how he was respecting my boundaries and didn’t try anything more.

I agree, from what he’s told me it seems like the girls he’s dated are very open etc with sexual stuff to begin with. However he’s still interested in me whilst knowing that I have my boundaries which I find good 🤷🏽‍♀️

I understand and thank you it can be hard to know on the first date if both people are attracted to each other but it seemed like by the end we both were quite comfortable

Thankyouu it is and it’s a relief talking about it 😁

[Decoded93]

Just make sure he keeps respecting it because you deserve that level of respect!’

Yeah you’re definitely different for him which is good, and he’ll come in with some experience for you which is nice for sure

I’m so glad it’s going well!

Ahaha I’m here for you! I enjoy talking to you about this

[Asker]

Aw thank you I appreciate that :)

I agree, different can be good and I can also adapt to his way of doing things. He said he just wants me to be more open minded.

Thank you your so kind to have helped me through this ☺️

[Decoded93]

Honestly it sounds like he’s very interested in you and has a very healthy drive so I think you’ll be a very happy girlfriend!!

Yes no problem at all!

[Asker]

Sorry what do you mean by a very healthy drive?

And thank you ☺️ I think we have different strengths and weaknesses but they go together well

[Decoded93]

So he’s very clearly attracted and wanting to go forward, he is masculine enough to want to engage with you as a man, which is a very good thing for once you get to that point, in the meantime he is respectful of your boundaries so he shows self control, that’s a very good combo and I’m excited for you!

Yes for sure you do, I’m sure you two will connect incredibly well!

[Asker]

Oh okay I understand what you mean. That’s great thank you ☺️ I’m glad I kept my boundaries and didn’t fall for what I wasn’t comfortable with.

I think the boundaries are really important at the beginning otherwise things get difficult later on. At the same time it’s allowing me to see how much he will be willing to accept those boundaries

Thankyou!

[Decoded93]

Yes you have a lot of integrity! Just let him do his thing when you are nice and ready for it and it’s going to be AMAZING when it happens! Also I can totally see how resisting his advances would show you more about his character and even be kinda exciting too, like it’s a game almost

And no problem!

[Asker]

Thank you I agree also the buildup will be really nice too ☺️

Yeah his love language is physical touch so considering that he is being really patient with me also good in character. And respecting my boundaries whilst still having some sexual tension there with the thigh holding but not too much. It does feel like a game 😅

[Decoded93]

Are you planning on not allowing any physical touch until the big event finally happens? Or will you eventually let him explore a little like let him feel up your thighs and stuff? I definitely think it’s a fun game! 🤣

[Asker]

I think I would let him touch me a bit more he already has and I don't mind it I think it is needed unless it becomes like more of a friends thing 🤷🏽‍♀️

He did feel my ass once when we were getting off the bench and then he hugged me tight once we got out the car and properly saw each other. He also hugged me on the bench and put his head on my shoulder. He then lifted his head and I could see he was looking from the corner of his eye and I think he wanted to see my reaction. His face was SO close to mine.

He also put his hand on my head and said you are a midget aren’t you. But he was only joking.

[Decoded93]

Yeah you could play games like pretend you don’t notice him touching for a couple minutes and then stop him and be like “hey! What are you doing?” And laugh playfully

Oh man how did he touch your ass? Was it a brush or a squeeze?

That’s exciting that his face was so close to yours :O I bet your heart was racing

Haha so there’s a big size difference? Cute

[Asker]

Ahaha yesss, it was more of a brush but he did squeeze my thighs a few times when in the car.

Yeah ahahah I pretended to not notice when my face was right next to his. I think he was just seeing my reactions and seeing whether I’m feeling him or not I think.

Yeah I’m 5ft and he’s 6ft1. However he thought I was 5ft5 in person 🤷🏽‍♀️ and then said no you must be at least 5 ft 3

[Decoded93]

That’s fun! Did he squeeze your inner thigh or top of your thigh?

Haha definitely keep driving up that tension! You got this, keep him on the edge of his seat

Oh that’s really cute! You two probably look amazing together

[Asker]

He squeezed top of my thigh but when he was holding on my thigh it was more going towards the inner bit if that makes sense.

Ahaha yesss I think slowly building things up is way better.

Thank you I think it is a cute height difference 😅

[Decoded93]

If you’re comfortable with it in the future it’s a good move to open your legs more to encourage him! But only if you feel 100% ok with it

Ahaha yes definitely sloooow

It is cute and he’s naturally protective over you I’m sure

[Asker]

Yes I feel like he did it the right amount and didn’t go too much in my thigh if that makes sense. He kept it more towards the top so it was quite comfortable.

Yeah it is naturally like that 😅

[Decoded93]

Maybe ask him for a massage on your back next time!

[Asker]

Ahaha yes!!

[Decoded93]

Also you could maintain hugs just a little longer than normal to leave him wondering

[Asker]

For sure that’s a good one to do ☺️

[Decoded93]

Oh and the classic sitting in his lap and occasionally wriggling around “to get comfortable “

[Asker]

Ahaha yess that’s also a good one 🙌🏽🙌🏽

[Decoded93]

I feel like I could give you endless ideas and feed back 🤣

[Asker]

Ahaha you could it’s been so helpful though thankyou

[Decoded93]

No problem :)

[Asker]

He replied back! He said cutie to when I said been thinking about you. He said sorry been running around all day took my sister out. He then rang me but I missed it I rang him back. He’ll probably ring when he gets a chance.

His tone has definitely changed he is very calm and being cool about things

[Decoded93]

I knew it! That’s super cute, it’s such a good foundation for a relationship

[Asker]

Thank you! He’s not saying baby babe etc anymore he use to do that a lot. I feel now it’s more natural and I felt it was too much to be saying baby when we not known each other long 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Decoded93]

What matters is your feelings, and remember you can control the pace, either limit him to slow it down or tease to heat it up!!

[Asker]

Thank you I will do :)

[Decoded93]

Yes you’ll do incredibly well!!

[spartan55]

Doesn't sound like you are interested either.

[Asker]

Sorry what do you mean by this

[spartan55]

I mean you don't seem interested in him.

[Anonymous]

I don't know.