Can someone explain why men will flirt with a woman, suddenly back off and then act nervous around them?

[Anonymous]

This keeps happening to me and it’s really confusing. I totally get that people don’t always mean it when they flirt or at least change their minds, and I now assume they’re not being serious but to then act nervously around me doesn’t make any sense? It often involves them noticing me, staring at me furtively when they think I can’t see them and then appearing all serious and behaving as if they haven’t seen me, when they think I am looking at them! It’s really confusing.

It’s often guys I only know in passing, that I’m not friends with etc., but it honestly feels as if they’re scared of me which makes me feel horrible as I’m a genuinely kind, fun person who smiles a lot and will talk to anyone! I’d hate to think I’m randomly going around making people feel bad. Is it that guys think all women will be nasty if they no longer flirt with them, because that seems mad to me?

Or am I genuinely making them scared of me?

[BetaBucks]

Maybe they weren't ready for you to flirt back and get flustered? Like, imagine if you met your celebrity crush and he was casual until you flirted with him, then switched gears and started flirting back in best way you like. You'd probably get flustered too, right? Could be that kinda thing.

[Asker]

Yeah I do know what you mean, I’ve actually had that myself. A rep came into work once and he didn’t know where he was going, he was wearing scrubs and a kind of casual, so I showed him around and we chatted and flirted a little. But when I saw him the next day he was looking really impressive in a good suit and he was confident being very flirty and calling out to me. I was a little intimidated and I suddenly became quite shy, where he’d made me feel at ease the day before.
Thanks that actually helps!

[Anonymous]

Maybe you got RBF. Maybe you throw signs to them, but then you throw off them same signs to every sailor. Point of what I'm saying is what is the common denominator with all themes guys? It's you! So rather than try to understand why they're doing these things. Maybe try to understand what you keep doing that keeps ending in this result.

Guys typically will put themselves out there. They want to make a memorable impression. But if they get nothing back or not much back. Of course they're going to dial it back.

[Nikki1989]

Fear of rejection, personal issues, lack of experience or a combination of all these things.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's like this...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/sFHw-R49pok

[Asker]

Ah yes! Nice, but no.! If anything I’m probably too subtle.

[spartan55]

No one is acting nervous. That's your bias showing.

[Danny_dan92]

Change of mind