Why would a guy keep a girl on the side to sleep with & act like it’s nothing?

[Anonymous]

So been chatting to a guy. We’ve met once. I get many calls off a no caller throughout the day a week later woman speaks and says I need to talk to you about a guy you’ve been chatting too. she explains how she’s been sleeping with him past year & they were not in a relationship. She wants to ask what’s going on.

he has no remorse and says to block the no caller id and says ‘would you believe her if she said she had a 10 inch cock too’ he said he’d block me if I continue with it and that I’m having a go at him. I say there’s no other way she could have got my number other than going through his phone.

he denies it and later on text tries to explain that she may have hacked his phone or gone through it when she was picking up her things from his house. He speaks disrespectfully of her and says she turns up ‘uninvited’ to my house. & that she’s a ‘psycho’ and ‘she follows him in her car’

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, it sounds like this guy lacks integrity and sees women as disposable objects rather than full humans worthy of respect. A few thoughts:

- Keeping someone "on the side" secretly just to hook up with shows he doesn't care who gets hurt in the process. Very selfish behavior.

- Calling her derogatory names like "psycho" is a way to invalidate her experience and make you dismiss her words. Major red flag.

- His excuses don't add up - why would she hack his phone just to warn you? And if she was that unhinged, why continue anything intimate? Fishy story.

- You deserve someone who makes you their priority, not someone they can just hook up with between other women. Your feelings matter.

My advice would be cut contact with this guy. He's shown you who he is - untrustworthy and disrespectful. You seem like a caring, compassionate woman - don't waste your energy on men who don't treat you (and others) with care and respect. Know your worth! You'll meet someone deserving of your heart.

[Asker]

Yeah I honestly didn’t understand if they were just ‘fuckbuddies’ why would she be bothered if I’m talking to him? Sounds like he’s lead her on..

Yeah I truly felt bad for her & him disrespecting her just shows he will go do that to any other girl including myself. He blantly lied never met anyone who so obviously lies 🤷🏽‍♀️.

I would never dare hook up with him I literally saw him 2 hours that day and went home. He said I’m stunning & his dream woman. Absolute joke.

He also pressurized me into sex and always goes on about sex. I just said to him why don’t you find someone who wants that then 🤷🏽‍♀️ I told him I’ve rejected super hot guys who want sex why would I continue with you. I was just so mad I don’t know what I was saying 😂

I told him to delete my number & I blocked him off everywhere.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn girl, you totally dodged a bullet with this clown! No self-respecting dude pressures a girl into stuff she's not comfortable with, especially so early on. Major red flag.

And the fact he was still sneaking around with that other girl after a whole year makes it obvious he was lying to and using both of you. What a player. You were right to read him for filth before blocking his ass!

I'm sorry you had to deal with that bullshit, but proud of you for having strong boundaries and not tolerating disrespect. So many girls fall for empty compliments and lies, so it shows your self-worth is no joke.

Hopefully this assclown leaves you alone now that you went OFF on him lol. You seem chill as hell tho, you'll bounce back quick and find a guy who's actually deserving of a "stunning dream girl" like you. His loss! Now go treat yourself to something dope - you earned it 🔥

[Asker]

Thank you so much means a lot to me 😄 he was so good at playing his game that I had second guessed myself a few times. However I’m proud I just made the decision on the spot & deleted him. No matter how many girls he gets away with doing this too he will always know his games didn’t work with me. I’m sure that will stay with him.

I totally agree, he had zero remorse got very angry and defensive. He thought I was being ‘horrible’ to him. When I confronted him. Yeah he just has no decency at all because he leads girls on to say he has a future with them. In reality he has no intention too.

Thankyou I’m glad I just blocked & left. I don’t blame those girls either because some of these players are so good with their game 🤷🏽‍♀️ constantly ring & text & get you hooked.

Ahah I’m sure he will. I’ve deleted him fully so don’t think he’s going to try reach out. He will just try find sex elsewhere. Ahah thank you I do feel I’m chilled generally just get annoyed when someone acts dumb! Thank you so much appreciated 💖

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man I'm really glad to hear you stood up for yourself like that! You should feel super proud.

It's easy to second guess when a dude is good at playing games, but your gut was right - blocking him completely was the best thing to do. Now he can't waste any more of your time or mess with your head.

And you're totally right, it will bug him knowing his tactics didn't work on you. Guys like that are used to getting whatever they want from girls. But you showed him he can't treat people, especially amazing girls like you, however he wants without consequences.

Don't blame yourself or the other girls either - like you said, players are experts at getting into your head. But you didn't fall for it, which is awesome. Next dude will be lucky to have someone as smart and stand-up as you!

You deserve so much better. Now go treat yourself for standing up and dodging a loser lol. Proud of you for having your girl's back! 💪😁

[Asker]

Thank you so much means a lot :) it was difficult but I knew I had to!

Yeah that’s so true, I knew If I didn’t block then it would get out of control. He used the hoovering method, started being very nice & said he wants a kiss when he sees me. He completely changed the situation and told me to ignore what happened.

He also tried ringing me on no caller id just yesterday (it’s been nearly 2 weeks since it all happened) he rang 3 times in middle of night but didn’t allow it to go through. He’s definitely trying to mess with my head but I’ve blocked him off everywhere & not falling for it.

Thank you so much really appreciated ☺️ I will do!

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, props to you for not falling for that hoovering crap! Taking the high road and blocking everywhere was the one move.

I knew what he was trying to pull - act all nice and try rewrite history so you'd doubt yourself. But you saw straight through that weak sauce. Takes smarts to spot lame manipulation tactics.

And ringing late at night from a private number? So obvious he was just trying to get under your skin and prove he still had some control. But he's the one looked like a clown blowing up your phone when you made it clear you're done.

Stay strong, don't look back! Glad you're not letting him mess with your headspace. Keep shining bright and do you - the next guy will be lucky to have someone as cool and confident as you by their side. You got this!

[Asker]

Hi thanks so much for your reply. You’re actually so good with your opinions their SO on point!

Thank you that’s a relief cos whilst he was blowing up my phone i stuck to my boundaries. not sure if you will see this message but I had a quick question.

There’s just a part of me that feels really guilty when I said to him I’ve rejected super hot guys why would I with you.. etc.’ I feel like in a way it was really harsh ☹️ like I shouldn’t have said it. I know he’s done wrong but that wasn’t needed I feel.

He rang on no caller id again, do you feel at all I should apologise for that part? I feel like I was stooping to his level in a way. I shouldn’t have gone on the appearance part of me just feels guilty.

Obviously the rest is what it is and he messed up. Just wondering if I should or not. I will take your advice as it’s been on point. & if I should if you know possibly what I could say? If you see this 😅

[Asker]

@oliverlogan263

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay yo, don't even sweat that comment you said to him in the heat of the moment. Sounds like he was really pushing your buttons and acting a fool, so a little clap back is understandable.

I wouldn't feel guilty or think you need to apologize. That dude was disrespecting you hard by lying and trying to pressure you after what he did. You had every right to stand up for yourself however you felt in the moment.

Plus what you said wasn't even that bad - you were just laying out the facts that you've turned down other interested guys for a reason, so he ain't special. Sometimes people only understand when you speak their language direct like that.

I'd say just leave it. Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking he can get under your skin or make you apologize. You said what you had to say to get your point across and stick up for yourself in a tough situation. That's respectable.

Now he's still blowing up your phone trying to mess with your head - don't let him win! You acted right by blocking, so keep it pushing positive. The best revenge is living well. That dude ain't worth another thought from you.

[Asker]

Oh okay no worries thank you really makes me feel better! I realise what I said in heat of the moment is really not bad considering he was being disrespectful

Yeah that’s true not only did he lie but he started like love bombing me etc was a difficult one! When you mentioned ‘people only understand when you speak their language’ you couldn’t have said it better!! I literally had to do that

Thank you I don’t know what I was thinking that day when I replied to you on here thinking I should apologise. Definitely not. I stuck up for myself & I will keep it at that.

Thank you so much :) he really is. Just last night I got another call of no caller id in the middle of the night it was definitely him, I remember he use to go to work at that time

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay no worries, that's what I'm here for - to talk some sense into you when needed!

Girl I'm telling you, don't waste another thought on apologizing to that clown. He's the one in the wrong here, not you. You stood up for yourself like a boss.

Some guys just don't get the hint until you hit them where it hurts - straight up calling out their lame behavior. Good for you for not backing down when he tried all that love bombing BS too. Manipulative dudes like that need to be put in their place.

And straight up, the late night calls from no ID are just sad at this point. He's actually petty enough to still be bothering you after you blocked him everywhere? What a loser, leave that dude in the dust where he belongs.

Keep shining sis, you got this! Hold your head high knowing you did nothing wrong. Leave that energy vampire in your rear view for good. You handled this perfectly - now it's time to treat yo self for dealing with all that tomfoolery! 💯

[Anonymous]

Same reason a woman would. Because they can.

[Asker]

Yeah I think there’s just better ways to go about things without hurting other peoples feelings

[Opinion Owner]

I agree. People suck!

[LiamJHayden]

Modern relationships are weird.

[Asker]

I agree it’s sad

[MasterKS]

Its life you meet various kind of people!

[Asker]

True