Why won't a guy date a girl he slept with?

[Nazgol]

Why won't he date after? Is it because it's not traditional/seems wrong? I don't see what's the problem, what could be preventing him if they already have chemistry?

[MrOracle]

A couple of things you need to consider:

Relationships CAN be valuable and positive, but, especially for men, they are ALWAYS expensive, hard work, time-consuming, at times frustrating, and risky. Some men simply don't feel that a relationship - with anyone - is worth the costs, and so they avoid relationships entirely. He may be in that group.

For men who want a relationship, despite the costs and risks, there's still the issue that most men's standards for a relationship are MUCH higher than the standards for who he'll sleep with - and I'm not talking about physical beauty here, but rather personality, attitude, compatibility, and baggage.

Let me give some examples. A guy meets an attractive girl, they have mutual sexual attraction, so they have sex. The threshold for having sex was relatively low: she was attractive to him, she was single (presumably, but most men avoid taken women), she was willing, and she didn't seem psycho. He didn't need to know if she was $200,000 in debt from college loans, or if she had 2 kids from 2 different men, or if she was a member of a cult religion, or if she was moving across the country in 3 weeks, or if she only wanted open relationships, or any of dozens of other red flags or deal-breakers, because those things only matter if you're considering a relationship with someone. If you're just having some casual sex, none of that matters, because you won't spend enough time together for them to matter.

It's very common for women to confuse a man's SEXUAL interest with RELATIONSHIP interest - because for women, they're virtually the same thing 99% of the time - but for most men, these are VERY different things with VERY different standards.

Let me give you another example: think of your male celebrity crush. He's hot, he's rich, and he's famous. He has tons of women throwing themselves at him everywhere he goes, and he probably fucks a lot of them if they're good-looking enough, and plenty of "normal" girls are. But he's not going to be in a relationship with any of those girls - if he gets into a relationship, it's almost always going to be another hot, rich, famous celebrity girl. I think most people realize that - but the same thing is true of non-celeb guys - at least, the top 20% of guys, which are the only ones girls have any interest in anyway. Just because a guy will fuck you does NOT necessarily mean he'd even consider dating you.

Normally, if a guy wants to DATE you, then asking you on dates and trying to get you into a relationship is going to be his goal, more than having sex with you. Obviously sex will be part of the relationship, but if he wants a relationship with you, it won't be sex he'll be pushing for - it will be a relationship. If a guy is just pushing for sex, then in most cases, all he wants from you is casual sex, and that's all you should expect if you give it to him. As soon as you sleep with a guy, you've lost all leverage you MIGHT have had to get him into a relationship.

[Nazgol]

I don't agree with everything you said & I don't think it's correct. Most girls don't confuse the two and they know the differences, so they don't hope for something more. Also the last sentence that once you sleep either with him you might be losing a chance for a relationship. It's contradictory to all that you mentioned earlier because a guy that sleeps with a girl and only that has no interest for anything else

[MrOracle]

I guess I should have elaborated a bit on that last point.

Most guys won't wait forever - or until marriage or graduation or whatever major milestone - to have sex, but they also don't take a girl seriously as a relationship partner if she has sex on the first couple of dates. in my opinion, sex should happen no earlier than 3-5 dates in if you hope to have a relationship (this typically means 3-8 weeks from when you started dating), but unless you are a virgin or still in high school, you shouldn't expect him to wait more than about 90 days either.

But what I was really getting at is, if you meet a guy, and he's thinking "this girl COULD be relationship material, but I'm not sure" or even "I don't really want a relationship, but I DO like this girl", the girl will have some leverage in getting him to consider her as a relationship partner. If she sleeps with him before she convinces him that she's a worthy potential partner, though, that leverage is gone.

[Lionman95]

Compare a relationship a shell that´s hidding a pearl inside. The feeling and intimacy of having sex is like that pearl because I´m rather traditional when it comes to sex. There is no moment no other activity that bring man and woman as close to gether like sex in my opinion.
If you start with that from the beginning it can get any deeper in my view. Probably another reason could be that like me has watched too much in youth. If a see woman nude too early in any kind of sexual context it´s way harder for me to take seriously and see her as a legitimate partner for a relationship.
You can hate me for that but especially the last part is a rather sad truth about me.

[HSSC12]

Because you sleep with him and there’s nothing left. I mentioned earlier in a different post that sex is meant to be gift of love. It’s SOOOOO them much of a gift of love that people literally create a whole bother person out of it. And if you give that up immediately or super soon, yeah…. I’d leave to. It doesn’t make sense to stay.

[AmandaYVR]

He likes her enough for sex, but not enough for a relationship. Or he never intended it to be a relationship.

There's a simple solution to this. Get to know the guy before you sleep with him.

Sexual chemistry is easy compared to commitment.

[ohshee]

Yes I agree with you if I'm going to date you if I'm going to sleep with you it's because I like you and I can already feel that chemistry between us both if I don't feel the chemistry I won't even date you or even try to get you in bed for me I like to make it all about the girl and I want to give her all my attention and not for 2 minutes or 5 minutes or 10 minutes or half an hour I like to give her all my attention I mean an hour just in foreplay and hopefully an hour or longer when having sex making love fucking I want that chemistry intense feeling just peaking with every touch

[blank_expression]

You probably jumped a guy that is out of your reach while he was horny and he has higher-end options. Some women are exactly the same, they jump me but then want to move onto bad-er boys. If you have sex with an actual match, chances are they will stay.

[Red_Arrow]

Today's youth seems to have it backwards. Long ago, I would usually date a girl for a while before sleeping with her. And I continued dating and sleeping with her. So I do not understand it either.

[FilmGuy93]

It's because there's nothing further to work towards. You already gave the most intimate aspect of who you are, but you didn't create any emotional connection with him. There's no respect.

[Alyssa11]

Because he only ever wanted to hit it and then dip.

[Leavesbound]

Somebody's got something backwards. First you date for a while then you sleep with them. I only sleep with people I have not ruled out for marriage.

[Andres77]

If his perception of the chemistry is different from hers.

[Anonymous]

He's not looking to and never was.

Personally, if I was open to a relationship/dating, I would, and having sex would only make me more interested in you if we get along, but I would've already been open to the idea. These guys weren't ever.

[Anonymous]

Why won't he date after? - Maybe he thinks she is easy and sleeps around a lot.
Is it because it's not traditional/seems wrong? - As I said maybe she is easy and he has got a bad thinking that she sleeps around a lot.
I don't see what's the problem, what could be preventing him if they already have chemistry? - Chemistry is only possible if he doesn't think of you in a good way and not
like the above two opinions i mentioned.

[TallAnon]

Some girls are hot enough to fuck, but definitely not the kind of person you would introduce to your mother.

[DWornock]

Because a new girl (a girl he's hasn't has sex with) is better than an old girl.

[Wiredone]

He used her for his needs and he's done with her. He moved on to the next victim

[goodvibes4life247]

I would not say that, it just depends on the guy, if he only wanted sex then he won't date you. It all depends on what he is actually looking for

[Jmmmfi4]

because we already got what we want now its on to the next

[AhmetMiraç]

it means he's just using you to sleep. she doesn't want to date you

[boggboss]

Because he never intended to date her just get sex

[Gwenhwyfar]

Doesn’t like her romantically just sexually

[eagle1951]

maybe she wasn't his type

[Still-alive]

He got what he wanted from her.

[Anonymous]

I agree with @filmguy93 👍