How can I get a guy who I ended things with to leave me alone?

[Anonymous]

This guy did not want to commit to me, so I ended things. I am no longer interested in him as a potential partner or even as a friend and he has been harassing me and constantly trying to get my attention for seven months.

I don’t even come around my friends anymore because he is going to keep annoying me with “can we talk?”, “we should still be friends”, “why are you avoiding me?”, “why did you block me?”, etc.

Because he poses no physical threat, I can’t exactly report him. He’s just annoying as fuck…

[abc3643]

Alas, you have a problem that many men go through...
He loved you but didn't realize he loved you because he was never in love before so he had no idea what it really meant.
This is one reason for the adage "You never know what you have until you have it no more."

So, once you were gone, he's suffering "withdrawl". His brain will gradually make all other things a lower priority as it works overtime trying to find whatever path it can to try to make things better between you. The smallest crumb will give him hope.
He will be like this for another year or two. Then, one day, he will... "accept" isn't the right word... realize there's nothing else that can be done and/or that "it just wouldn't be the same anymore". Either that, or he gets a new NON-REBOUND girlfriend.

There is another alternative... but I am not sure if you should take it or not... Become a couple again with him... or at least start dating to see what happens.

OK, so why did he not commit before? Because many young guys are not committal. This is because of a strong survival instinct in men. Commitment of any type means removing choice or, put another way, removes error-correction. When you commit to something, it is difficult to undo any error or commit to another path toward success. (I want to be clear - this is NOT just relationships but a great deal of things.)

A man should commit only when he is certain. A man in love - real love - will commit. Unfortunately, a man who doesn't know he is in love and doesn't what real love is is reticent to commit for the reason I just stated.

But, a man in real love with you and who is mature enough to know it will commit to you. (He actually will have already emotionally so the act of marriage is perfunctory.)

[Amy10223]

Although he poses no threat to you (so far), 7 months of pestering you and annoying you is extreme. He sounds obsessed. This is harassment and you can ask police to keep him away from you. If he breaks the restraint then he is breaking the law and can go to jail for it. It's really tough to do--but if you have no other choice--you need to get the law involved.

You can also have a talk with him and ask him to leave you alone--you are no longer interested in him--and that IF he does not stop harassing you, you will do the above. Tell him hou are not kidding and that you won't hesitate to do it. Please do this with a friend--not alone some place where he could follow you home. I know enough to know that the most meek man can turn into a menace if the recipe is right.

By all means--don't walk alone at night near where you think he'll be. Always have someone accompany you to your home. Keep your doors and windows locked. Get yourself a guard dog!

[_Maya_]

Is he doing this predominantly through digital communcation? If that is a yes then block him. Just block his social media or phone number. That should take care of that real quick. Now if he were to buy or change his number to keep harassing you then you would have cause to report him because he is at that point stalking you. I think that woudl suffice enough to get a restraining order. At least it would where I am from. Now if he is doing this in person where is he doing it at? Is he a coworker? Fellow student? An answer to that makes a big difference in how you can go about handling it. There are things you can do and steps you can take to limit contact but you didn't give much context of where this is happening if it is indeed in person he is doing it.

[Asker]

I have him blocked on all social media. We have mutual friends, so he is trying his best to engage with me despite ignoring him (he can’t take a hint) and he keeps trying to convince me to be friends with him.

[_Maya_]

So it is a mix of online and in person. How is he doing it in person? Like where are you running into him?

[HollyK21]

There is history between you two, and unfortunately at some point he got the impression that he can’t take you seriously when you say you’re done. Maybe you’ve said or implied it before (maybe even more than once), and kept taking him back or giving him chances. Now he’s got this idea that eventually you’ll come around, or you don’t mean it.
Now you have to help him unlearn that by not engaging whatsoever. Even if you folded in the past (whether purposely or accidentally), you can’t do it again at any capacity. That means don’t open the snap, don’t touch the text or email, don’t go to the event. If you’re already doing all that, or any of that, then great! Keep doing it, and eventually he’ll get the hint.
In most cases, he isn’t crazy or a threat, his ego is just in the way and he’s having a hard time believing you. That’s fine, he will learn.

[exitseven]

Go to the cops and get a restraining order