Is it a date or just friendly if a guy say he would “invite you for lunch” in his city?

[Anonymous]

He’s my classmate who lives 40-50 min away from our college campus in my city. We were supposed to meet at his city that’s the original college campus to do a tour but I came late and he had a doctor appt. So while we were on the phone we talked about in case we couldn’t do the tour… I playfully say he owe me a full tour next time and he added that he would even invite me to lunch lol.

But I did briefly saw him and his hug when he first saw me was longer than I expected ❤️ lol. It was actually our first time hugging and we hugged another 2-3 times after that too haha. He also tease me why I’m late for taking a long shower. I told him I was trying to look nice for the speaker of the event today (but truthfully it was for him lol). He agreed I looked nice and then emphasis I ALWAYS look nice lmao. I asked he thinks I do? And he added he does everytime he sees me as I’m well-groomed.

not sure if he’s attracted or into me…. Or if he is and taking it slow since he didn’t text me after the brief encounter today lol.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like both , he probably just wants to get to know you more and he isn't to sure on how you feel about him , so he is taking the slow road with you to see if you like him the same so he doesn’t blow his chances with you if he comes on to you to fast. Understand we are t mind readers and not every guy can pick up on a girls’ body language , so if you want to be more than just friends’ with him , you are best to show interest in him as well and text him and tell him you had a great time and thank him for inviting you to linch. Instead of waiting for him to text you. if he continues having a conversation with you after you text him then he more than likely has the hits for you and will probably ask you if you would like to meet up again. You girls’ have to understand it can’t always be the guys’ job to initiate everything , it’s ok for a girl to communicate as well. So if you like him , get your answer girl , don’t just hide behind a bush and wait for him to come to you , he already made the first move by inviting you to lunch , so the right thing for you to do is to thank him and tell him you had a great time , let him know you are interested in him , ask him to go out sometime, if he doesn’t ask you again after you text him. Some guys’ are shy and don’t know how to read a girls’ body language , he might just assume you just want to be friends with him.

[Asker]

Actually that day we briefly saw each other two days ago. I did sent him a message expressing my gratitude for staying longer to help me and it wouldn’t be the same without him. I told him I look forward to the next full tour and lunch. I also told him I hope he get safely to his appointment and not get too much trouble since he was a little late. He only gave it a heart reaction… so I didn’t get a text in return.

But the next day (yesterday) he did message me asking how did my event go. He was really sweet saying I’m networking and “you go girl” like he’s rooting for me since the speaker of the event actually likes me and wanted a picture with me including other things. I asked how’s his Friday, he told me it’s football night as he’s a refree for high school students and youths on Saturday. I told him I love his energy and loved to hear more. But he only gave me a heart reaction….

Not sure why he didn’t text me more about it unless he’s just taking it slow and to keep me wondering to have a talk in-person…

[Cripplingkingship]

Don't over think why he didn't he text you more etc. The main thing is, that he is communicating with you at a reasonable level. I personally don't like texting, some people are just not into texting and keep it brief.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like it could lead to more , but you honestly shouldn’t mix business with pleasure , especially if you like your job and want to keep your job

[Asker]

For my understanding he is not really a texter and maybe taking it slow?

We are classmates in graduate school, not co-workers.

[Cripplingkingship]

Stop over thinking the situation, and go speak to him. You will get to understand his intention the more you speak to someone. You will never understand someone through texting. It just words on a screen.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Classmate, college, 30-35 ? That's either unusual late studies or hinting too much at fake age lol. Anyway, not the topic.

✅"he added that he would even invite me to lunch"
✅"his hug when he first saw me was longer than I expected"
✅"we hugged another 2-3 times after that too"
✅"tease me"
✅"emphasis I ALWAYS look nice"

"not sure if he’s attracted"
SERIOUSLY? 🙄😏Do you need a certificate or any legal paper to confirm the obvious enough? Come on.

Enjoy your lunch... Go go go !

[Asker]

Ageism is not a good look. No one is too old to start or continue to pursue their education. Hence, we are graduate students & not the assumptions of undergraduate students who tends to be at a younger age group.

In graduate schools, we are taught to be more professional even among our collegeues and build good relationships. So it’s a little hard to know if we are being just friendly in this environment.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I just said it was unusually late for the record, there was no implications on my part :) It would not be my place to frown upon education, in any case possible. For flirty behaviors' assessment, I don't know about this environment, I don't look at environment to assess that, I'm looking at individual behaviors only. And, in that case, they speak a ton lol

[RageBabe]

Inviting you to lunch in the city usually entails having sex in the city, of course after a few cocktails. Go and watch SATC!

Oh sh*t, they caught us in the bar toilet!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I REALLY DON'T RECOMMEND bar toilets. Nor park toilets, not any public toilets at all 😂

[RageBabe]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Yucky! 😂😂 I couldn’t help myself when I saw this photo.

[Nikki1989]

Friends eat meals with friends all the time. I wouldn't read anymore into it than that.

[MisterWack]

You should go for it, doesn’t hurt.

A long hug, you notice how well groomed he is, and all that… You even typed a ‘❤️’, go for it. Make your move.

[VIVANT]

If you wanted to be a date, why don’t you just say you wanted to be a date and then if he’s not interested in dating, he will let you know and then you don’t have to wonder about it anymore?

I It’s been nine days … I wonder how it went. Let us know. 😊

[jessacat]

Sounds like he wants to spend some time with you and get to know you better without having huge expectations or misunderstood intentions on either side. If he wants to see you, talks to you frequently and hugs you, he's probably into you but just wants to be cautious.

[StevenMcGarrett]

I would definitely think he wants to date you. He just holding back because he doesn't want to get hurt. See if he will kiss you after lunch. Good luck.

[Asker]

Aw I hope you’re right, thank you ☺️

[StevenMcGarrett]

Good luck. I would love to hear how it turns out.

[Asker]

Aw thanks! Tbh I really don’t know how I feel anymore… I don't know if he’s just exploring as he’s being a single guy or it’s just bad timing…

Um when he first saw me today I was sitting in the lounge with other girls… he smiled and briefly talked to me while he was in line for water… then he started talking to another girl from our cohort who I guess from their interaction they haven’t really spoken before… he just mentioned she was sitting by herself and I can hear them chatting up from graduating from the same school with same degree…

And when we finally went to class, he sat next to me, but my back was to him the whole time because our professor wanted us to do a full on interview with a speaker that took up most of the class… and when I finally turned around, he was smiling at me a lot but we barely engaged because we gotta talk about what’s the agenda for today and it was kind of awk on the topic because it’s about LGBTQIA… anyways i realized he’s very observant because he noticed on my backpack last week that I had pins of lgbtqia which I wasn’t sure was that noticeable because it was under the table and he only moved it very briefly… and the only good thing I can think of was when I got out of seat after class, he pushed it back in for me.. but he went to another girl to talk about her princess costume from Mario game… and I recall during break, he was kind of playful to the girl who sat on his other side to go back to her seat with his arms up for her to go through…

Like I like that he’s friendly and jokes, but I just don’t know if he’s overly friendly or flirty with other girls… so it makes me wanna distant myself… but I don't know

[Asker]

Well he talked to the other girl who was by herself while he was waiting in line and she was near it sorry to mentioned.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Oh hmm. Yeah he might be a player. If you really want him, make a move and then down the line see if he acts more exclusively with you.

[ProbablyClueless]

He's obviously attracted to you. Lunch is just a super low stakes way to further build that connection.

[Open-minded99]

Date or it could just be friendly but he's interested in you

[shades777]

It's a date if your attracted to him, and it's not if your not attracted. Same for him, it can be a date for him but a friendly to you

[LiamJHayden]

In general could be either, but with the added context I'd expect it would be a date.

[2inthepink]

Lunch is more on the friend side but has the potential to be more

[ThomasMendoza1106]

means he likes you enough to at least
just be nice

[WhitneySnow]

I think he really likes you

[Asker]

Omg really, why do you say that?🙈🙈🙈 Surprisedly he actually message me today asking how was my event haha.

[WhitneySnow]

All the things he’s doing are signs of a guy liking you

[TadCurious]

My opinion is that he feels sparks.

[Asker]

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 hehe hope you’re right 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

[Asker]

May I ask why do you think so?

[TadCurious]

It's several things from the way you described things. The way he hugged you. The way he playfully teased you about your shower. The way he complimented your appearance. All that put together and more makes me think he feels sparks for you.

[paledreams]

No. No. Can't say I have. I have not 🚫😆

[snermcger]

Oh snap. Yeah, he likes you.

[TheKillerJason]

You are over 30 you don’t know?

[spartan55]

He would, or he did?