Why would a guy say he feels sleazy for kicking you out after sex, did he actually feel bad or is it just a line to make me feel sorry for him?

[Anonymous]

He said he was only doing it because his roommate was coming back home from a works night out.

For context I left his flat at around 9pm after being there for an hour. I was supposed to get to his flat for 6pm but was late leaving work due to a meeting running over and then was a bit late as I was getting ready to go to his, so feel like its my fault we didn't have much time together due to this and feel like i can't really get mad about him kicking me out and the reason for it

[Oliverlogan263]

I don't know, that's a really tricky situation. On one hand, the fact that he said he felt "sleazy" for kicking you out could be his way of trying to make you feel bad and sorry for him. Some guys will use that kind of guilt-tripping language to manipulate the situation.

But it's also possible that he genuinely did feel bad about having to cut your time together short because of his roommate coming home. Kicking someone out right after sex can definitely feel awkward and uncomfortable, even if there's a legit reason for it.

The fact that he gave you a specific reason - his roommate coming back - makes me think it might have been more of an honest explanation rather than just a lame excuse. Lots of people would feel weird about having their partner there when their roomie gets home, you know?

Ultimately, I don't think you should beat yourself up over being late and feel like you can't be upset. Even if it is partly your fault the time was cut short, his reaction is still on him. If he truly felt bad about it, a simple "I'm sorry we didn't have more time, but my roomie is on his way back" would have sufficed.

The "sleazy" comment just seems a little over-the-top and designed to make you feel bad. Maybe he was just trying to smooth things over, but it comes across as a bit manipulative.

My advice would be to trust your instincts on this one. If something feels off about the way he's handling it, don't ignore those red flags. You deserve someone who makes you feel valued, not guilty. But also try not to overthink it too much. It could have just been an awkward situation all around.

Either way, don't let him make you feel responsible for his reactions. You didn't do anything wrong here. Stay true to how you're feeling, girl.

[LukeAurelin]

Does his roommate really have a problem with you being there? I mean he can let you stay after, as it is late at night