When I told a guy this , do you think that it would have made him feel crappy?

[Anonymous]

he treated me really bad so I told him that I've been on my own since I was a teenager so with that , I am very conscientious about the way people treat me and that he can move on and not play me for a fool.

[HollyK21]

Choosing to let him go in this situation was the best choice, however if he was treating you poorly and essentially taking your presence in his life for granted then I doubt what you said would make him feel bad unfortunately. I do think he may start feeling that way once you maintain no contact.

[Asker]

I guess what I said may even be a test for him and to give him insight on whether he cares or not? So, I guess telling him is a positive either way..

[HollyK21]

It’s not positive when you don’t walk away from that situation directly afterwards and instead treat it like an ultimatum whilst sticking around. If he wanted to treat you better, then he would, but he won’t because this is his personality on full display. These are traits he has spent his whole life building, and likely will see no issues with them. What he will probably do is gaslight and make you feel wrong. He will not understand what you’re talking about, and keep doing what he’s doing because where’s the incentive to change when he still has access to you? Words are just words and mean nothing without action.

[Asker]

I am not going to let anyone treat me that way... at first , I was confused because I know he has been going through things... and , then maybe I djd think I was being to sensitive but, then I had to look at myself and see what it is that I really want and if he was going through things then he should have discussed them. And , whether sensitive or not, this is not what I want and it hurt my feelings. I've made a decision that no one can be in my life with that behavior. I'd like him to feel bad for taking advantage of me but, if he doesn't then I am happy that I was able to stand up for myself...

[HollyK21]

If you are making the choice to put yourself first and walk away, then that is amazing and I hope you are proud of yourself. It’s hard to envision him feeling remorseful, because he likely does not see an issue with his treatment of you in the first place. Guys like him who have a hard life, maybe struggle with some mental problems and whatever else, will always bring sadness or pain to those around them. Even if he said sorry, he won’t genuinely mean it because there is no action to follow those words. You are not the first or last woman who he’s disrespected or belittled, and until he gets tired of losing people to his anger and negative tendencies then he will never be happy in life. You deserve a much better person to share your time with, not a man who’s broken and you need to try fixing.

[Asker]

I'm very proud of myself and the way I handled it. I didn't yelll or curse or anything. I just said what I said above and told him that if he couldn't treat me better then that's fine but to also have a good life

[Guy13]

It is not likely what you said had any effect upon him. He may have even chuckled on the inside and thought to himself, "what a little brat... drama queen for sure."

[boggboss]

I most cases no he would have read it and either not cared or assume u are drama

[Asker]

But it's a fact, I don't see it as drama, it's just a fact and I was telling him I'm not going to allow him to treat me bad: it just seems like he's the drama guy for trying to cause drama and me stopping it.

[boggboss]

Yes it may be a fact but its not one he may think about or care about you statement requires him to care about u to have a effect

[Asker]

True, so basically... if he truly cares about me then he feels bad for treating me bad and if he doesn't care about me then he doesn't care but, the statement is good because then he can no whether he fricken cares or not/ it will either hit him hard or not faze him?