What does the constant disappearing mean?

[Mhmmmalreadykno]

I have this guy I grew up with. We recently got in contact and he this year. He hit me up first, and he would find little ways to hit me up here and there. He admitted that he found me attractive too, but he never did anything about it. He continued to float in and out of my life by swiping up on my instagram notes or my stories. Sometimes he would drag and say it’s because he’s so bad at responding to dms. One night we ended up opening up about stuff in our past til four in the morning. We talked about our old relationships and whenever I mentioned the name of the guy he would search them up on instagram to see how they looked like. He also mentioned how he doesn’t know how to approach women anymore because of his hurt past. Also he mentioned finding some girl cute but saying he wouldn’t be with her because she’s far away. That same night he made plans to hang out with me the next morning. We hung out and we had a good time. He texted me right after apologizing if he was acting a little weird even though he wasn’t, and then he continued to make conversation for days then he pulled away for days. Suddenly he hit me up again asking me how my day was but he drags? What does all this really mean?

[Ria444]

I'm having the exact same problem with a guy I've known for years. And I'd say give up on him, but it's not that simple.

Obviously reason one for his behavior is that he's playing with your feelings. But since you know this guy well enough, you'll be able to tell if he's that kind of person, and from your description he doesn't seem like it.

The other thing is that he could be feeling too much for you and he's scared. Guys sometimes realize they've opened up too much and pull away because they don't like being so vulnerable. It's not personal, he might genuinely be afraid of getting hurt. Maybe he's worried that having you gives him the risk of losing you or getting hurt by you. And there's always the possibility he's confused about how he feels.

Honestly, a lot of people think guys are shallow and they just play with girls feelings for no reason, but there's usually something more that stops them from completely opening up. Give him time and if he fully pulls away you'll know your answer.

[Mhmmmalreadykno]

Thank you! This was so helpful!

[spartan55]

It means he talks to you when it's convenient for him.