Do you think this man finds me attractive?

[CutiePeach]

Hello all 😊

I know this question probably seems odd, but I don’t have a lot of experience with men and I’m quite crap at reading signals. I also have no confidence because my first crush humiliated me. I’ve been seeing this guy at work and he caught my eye. He doesn’t work in my department. The interactions started with him smiling at me with prolonged eye contact (I have never really seen him talking to girls outside of his department except for one who works in the canteen)

It was always him who smiled first and it was me who looked away first

I eventually said hi to him and we have little conversations now and then

After I first said hi to him, he went though a phase of ignoring me and looking away from me when we were in the same area

When we talk, he stands quite close to me and his pupils are very dilated

When we are talking, his eyes are fixated on mine and he will glance at my lips quickly before going back to my eyes

He seems somewhat fidgety when we talk
Yesterday, he smiled and we said hi, and then when I started chatting to him properly, he smiled even more

I was walking to the canteen and my (prettier) friend was walking in front. He was walking towards us but he was fixated on me and didn’t even look at her

My friends say they have seen the way he looks at me, and to quote, “they would be upset if their boyfriend looked at another girl the same way”
I’ve noticed that when we are in the same vicinity, he will tidy his hair and check it in his phone camera

Sometimes we won’t have any interaction, just a few glances and that’s it

It’s just baby steps at the moment, but do you think he may find me attractive?

Yes

No

[_Maya_]

Honestly all those could mean he has a thing for you and all of them can mean nothing. It could be coincidence and you are noticing it because that's what you want to believe is true. You're hoping that all these things mean he is attracted to you. I see this type of question weekly on this site and typically the users that ask them only want to hear what they are secretively hoping for which is affirmation that someone is into them. Often times it is just what I explained. You want him to find you attractive so you go out of the way to find any little signal that would back that up when in reality he is just going about his day and he is a nice guy that is friendly. Until he makes a move that's what you have to assume.

[Abbycado]

Wow, you are taking not of pupil dilation? Are you sure you are not obsessed with this guy?

[Sevenpointfive]

i would. i adore brits.

do you not socially gather after hours? get a friend to set something up

[Cormac995]

Dudes got it bad. Ask him out.

[CutiePeach]

Do you think so? Even when there are days where all I get off him is a few glances?

[Cormac995]

I'm not saying he's in love with you necessarily, but these are signals I've given woman without even realizing it before when I had a crush on them. He clearly likes you so if you like him tell him you want to go on a date.

[CutiePeach]

Trouble is, I’m way too shy also! I think he is to a degree, because the first time we had a proper conversation, he started talking and it was almost like verbal diarrhoea.
Then there was a long pause and I introduced myself and said, my name is “my name”, nice to meet you. And he said his name, then said nice to meet you too.

[Cormac995]

Oh boy look I know where you're coming from because I'm shy around woman myself but I'm going to tell you right now 1. You'd honestly be doing him a favor by asking him out because he's probably very stressed cause he likes you but he's worried about being rejected. I cannot overstate how exhausting it is for men to always have to be the one to make the first move every time it's incredibly stressful and honestly, I think there would be a lot more woman who gave polite rejections if they experienced what it feels like to put yourself out there and get shot down. It's even worse when they're nasty about it. 2. One of you eventually has to make a move or nothing will come of it and then you'll just part ways eventually. Being direct and straightforward with him would probably not only be a relief to him but it's also frankly the best and most adult option. You're a grown woman you can do this.

[CutiePeach]

Thank you so much…I will work my way up to it hehe. My first ever crush humiliated me pretty bad and I have no self esteem. Forgot to mention as well, my colleague smiled at him yesterday. But she smiled first and he didn’t stare at her, just politely smiled back and that was it.
Also, there are times when he hasn’t stopped to chat. Like I’ve gone to say hi and I’ve stood still but he’s just carried on walking. And things like that make me think he isn’t interested haha

[Cormac995]

That could be a number of things all the signs are there based on what you've told me. Those could even just be symptoms of his nervousness around you because he likes you. Sometimes it's not just about what a guy does but also what he doesn't do. One of the things that really, really stuck with me about what you said is the eye language he seems to have. That shit don't lie dilated pupils are an involuntary reaction humans have when we see something or someone, we are very attached to. Absolute bare minimum worst-case scenario he at least thinks you're very pretty bare minimum.

With the other context provided I think the times he dodged you were his nerves. there's also frankly a greater than zero possibility you gave him a boner somehow and he's trying to not let you see it. Us guys literally don't have control of that thing it literally functions in our sleep and few things are more embarrassing than having your crush see that.

There are so many other green flags here that he's into you those moments of him dodging you are inconsequential, and my guess is in time if you ask him, he'll have an answer that makes complete sense. Odds are pretty good it was nerves, or he was super busy or didn't hear you. It's also possible he could have just been straight up lost in his head. Men think a lot more than woman think we do and it's not uncommon for us to forget the world around us when we're deep in thought.

[Cormac995]

By the way if there's another girl flirting and paying attention to him that means the clock is ticking because if enough time passes without him realizing if you're interested or not sooner or later, he'll get disheartened and give up thinking you aren't interested and then you'll have missed your chance.

[CutiePeach]

Grrrr man is frustrating. I was sat at a table and I happened to look up, and he was staring at me. When I looked at him, he smiled and said morning how are you etc.
Then earlier, I was walking towards him and he was with a friend. He looked at me from afar but when I got closer he more or less ignored me and looked away

[Cormac995]

Again sounds a lot like nerves in that context.

[slatyb]

If a man makes time for you, he's likely attracted. Invite him to coffee or lunch or dinner or whatever.

[In_Trance]

Get back to work