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So I like this guy a lot and we “hang out” every couple weeks to a month. Text on a pretty regular basis. Feeling like we are dating but he says he’s not interested in “dating” so I just try to keep everything at a friendship level. I have expressed that I like him but he has never expressed any feelings towards me with words but through action he has.
I get a lot of mixed signals with him which makes me believe that maybe he isn’t sure how he feels or how to express how he feels? The last couple times we have “hung out” he seems a lot more comfortable not as awkward. He also goes above and beyond to make sure I’m happy and comfortable on all levels and doesn’t like me to pay for things when around him. It feels so much more than a friendship to me. Im trying really hard to not be delusional though. It’s very confusing.
1. He has only initiated hanging out one time. I always initiate and he always happy to make time for me when I do ask. Why would you not initiate hanging out with a woman more? Shy? Maybe not sure what to do? Not super interested? Should I initiate more time? Or just keep it this way for now?
2. When I text him or try to talk to him about certain things he seems to make things more about me and avoids answering certain messages about his day, or how he’s doing. Not always though. He always seems concerned about how I’m doing but when I ask it seems to get ignored. Why might this be? Have you ever responded to messages where you answer certain things but not others? Do you think this is un-intentional or because he doesn’t want me to get to know him on an even deeper level?
3. I know about platonic friendships but how often do guys engage in platonic friendships but actually really like someone more than that? Do they just not know how to express their feelings? Is the fear of getting hurt from a part of trauma on his part too?
4. If you like a woman but are hiding your feelings what are something’s you do or wouldn’t do?
I get a lot of mixed signals with him which makes me believe that maybe he isn’t sure how he feels or how to express how he feels? The last couple times we have “hung out” he seems a lot more comfortable not as awkward. He also goes above and beyond to make sure I’m happy and comfortable on all levels and doesn’t like me to pay for things when around him. It feels so much more than a friendship to me. Im trying really hard to not be delusional though. It’s very confusing.
1. He has only initiated hanging out one time. I always initiate and he always happy to make time for me when I do ask. Why would you not initiate hanging out with a woman more? Shy? Maybe not sure what to do? Not super interested? Should I initiate more time? Or just keep it this way for now?
2. When I text him or try to talk to him about certain things he seems to make things more about me and avoids answering certain messages about his day, or how he’s doing. Not always though. He always seems concerned about how I’m doing but when I ask it seems to get ignored. Why might this be? Have you ever responded to messages where you answer certain things but not others? Do you think this is un-intentional or because he doesn’t want me to get to know him on an even deeper level?
3. I know about platonic friendships but how often do guys engage in platonic friendships but actually really like someone more than that? Do they just not know how to express their feelings? Is the fear of getting hurt from a part of trauma on his part too?
4. If you like a woman but are hiding your feelings what are something’s you do or wouldn’t do?
Updates
1 y
I feel like I have been pretty clear and obvious on how I feel with him. I honestly hide it a little bit it’s really hard to hold back for me. Should I just wait and not push for answers until he’s ready to share?
What Guys Said
As a guy, it’s not easy expressing our feelings to a woman. He might like you but may find it hard to tell you in words. I’m the same way; I’ve shown this chick I’ve reconnected with how much I care about her through my actions. And Im going to tell her how I feel about as nervous as I am. He’s probably same way. Telling someone how you feel and what you want isn’t what’s hard; it’s the reaction & the response that’s makes it so hard because we’ll have a thousand scenarios running in our mind of how bad the outcome will be or good. Just have a complete honest conversation with him
I feel like I have been pretty clear and obvious on how I feel with him. I honestly hide it a little bit it’s really hard to hold back for me. Should I just wait and not push for answers until he’s ready to share?
For some reason my question back to you went to update question lol weird..
Some guys have trouble expressing themselves, and that could be the case here. I think you should push him a little, and see if he responds positively. No reason for you to wait forever on him. It’s just dating. If he’s not ready for dating, or it’s something else you should find out now.
Do you have any suggestions on ways to nudge a little without being too pushy?
I think the direct approach is best. Is he your age? Just talk to him in person, and ask him if he’d like to start dating? It’s not like a marriage proposal. I don’t want to tell you what to do, but this sounds so immature and awkward for a couple of people in their early 30s. Have a real conversation.
Honestly I just don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable but you are totally right communication is everything. Just not as easy for everyone I guess. I’m most definitely going to fester up the courage to more direct. Thank you!
Good luck!