What do incels have to gain by complaining about women instead of working on themselves?

Question

We've all seen it, even with certain blue anons on this site. They make up wild stories about women being greedy or only wanting a certain kind of man when the reality is that they aren't working on their own issues and choose to blame women for it. So what do they gain in that situation? They are still going to be alone and an incel?

So, I ask you, (and incels feel free to post as well what you have to gain by this behavior) are you tired of seeing it on here and other social media? Do you blame these delicate men for their lines of thought? Chime in below!

Crimsyjo · Accepted Answer

I see men saying a lot of things that from my experience and perspective are totally untrue. I guess we can't discount their experiences have shaped their views and it's sad if it really has been full of the toxic mean women they believe we all are. But I guess that's also the type of women they have pursued. And some self reflection indeed would be better than spitting all the hatred they have trying to hurt us women. They feel out of control and seek to control the only thing they can... their words here. They perhaps enjoy the attention from women that respond even if negative.

Anyways I agree they should seek help but most actually seem to enjoy being incels. Especially when validated by other incels here.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I think some people look for excuses to hate and condemn others because the sense of power they get by verbally harassing others is the closest thing to acceptance and self-esteem they will allow themselves to absorb in life.

Real acceptance based on positive personality traits requires more work to achieve.

Shiprex · Answer

So men in the last few generations have had to be kept in place and carry on doing as they have always done (work and obtain wealth in order to be of any value to society and women).
They've (men) also been kinda pushed out of the soft opportunity job market by women's choices taking the roles THEY want instead of projecting into ALL areas of work where men were dominant and men have HAD to adapt to accept women into those workspaces because of perceived "toxic working environments" that men have actually been working in for generations. Men are still doing the shitty, dangerous, unpleasant and antisocial jobs (resulting romantic opportunities are obviously lowered there) without complaint and suffered as a result.
Men are reminded they are slower developers, less mature, more violent, more dangerous, more toxic, more bad, worse than animals, predators, creeps, etc., for being born male. They're also being given a shit deal in education outcomes (run by women) less access or support to get opportunities and that' it's all because of THEM (It's the Patriarchy after all not ruling classes telling everyone this it's THEM and THEIR ancestors who created the system that benefits MEN and oppresses women...

So men have simple been told to accept their lot, put up with adapting to women taking power (men didn't actually have that power, it was the ruling classes) over them and their lives (lower your eyes, don't look, stay meek, be invisible, approach but don't approach, protect by sacrificing yourself, you're to blame for the bad behaviours of criminals, men are bad and deserve the abuse they receive when it's issued by women.

This blames RULING classes not women who've only taken advantage of what they've been allowed to do and that men are being left behind to accept their lower status in society.
It's an unwritten priority list in Sweden that the order of importance in what is allegedly a society of egalitarian virtue that shows the following priorities

children (girls before boys but almost equal especially when young)
women
LGBGT+
Immigrants
men

From personal experience as a straight white immigrant I never expected my immigration status being a more important factor than my gender.

Summeroflove · Answer

Well some people have been hurt and unfortunately used by these kind of women but it’s not all or even the majority of women out there the same goes for women who seem to hate men.

Also, someone rejecting your romantically does not mean that they are judging you or hating you as a human being. Either they have someone or just aren’t interested sure rejection hurts but get over it.

If everyone of the opposite sex is the issue…. Maybe it’s a YOU problem. Maybe if nobody even halfway decent wants you that you’re the issue. Either you’re just gross and slobby….. so nobody wants you or the other extreme or beinf a man whore. Sleeping with 100s of women and wondering why they have poor values and the women who aren’t like that don’t choose to be with them.

If someone doesn’t want a relationship that’s fine. That’s your choice but don’t hate people because of who they’re born as. I can’t help being a man as much as a woman can’t help being a woman look at people on a case by case basis. Look at their character not their sex/gender. Not everyone’s your romantic partner so stop taking your negativity out on people who never did anything to you.

But I also feel sorry for some people because they have been hurt by narcissists and other dark personalities but that doesn’t make it okay to hurt others who never did anything to you.

HighlyQuestionable · Answer

First of all let me say upfront that I am not an incel, nor do I know any incels. I was raised in a family that promoted equality among the sexes by practicing it. Concerning incels and the like, in many cases I fear they are not making up their horrible interactions with certain women. For every sexist male pig, incel or unromantic boor there is likely a female equivalent, a b*tch, gold-digger or female sexist. Like the incel, I complain about how I am treated by some women. Unlike the incel, I am not the behavioral equivalent of the women who treat me with contempt, sexism or disdain. The constant suggestion that all men who don't find favor with women are somehow deficient and need to "work on themselves" is the height of hubris. The more people I meet, the more I notice cruelty, ignorance and other negative traits are dominant in around the same number of women as men. I admit there are a lot of awful men out there, but there are certainly some of us who are decent, norma, kind, caring and possessed of many redeeming traits. Concerning your comment about incels being "delicate", I fear you show your hand a bit in using the word "delicate" in a pejorative connotation.

AyChingao · Answer

The thing is that we all experience rejection, and yeah it hurts when it happens. Hopefully as time goes by you come to realize that being rejected is often the best outcome in a situation. If she's not feeling it... she's not... accept it and move on. It's one on one. There's really no female conspiracy against men (ridiculous).
Men have always looked for reasons and sought advice to be more successful with the girls, always as in forever. I can't help but think some of the influencers on places like Youtube contribute to this issue by telling these young ones that this alpha male garbage is the way, and that they are fine and any woman that doesn't jump their bones immediately has something wrong with her... I'm afraid the learning curve is gonna be VERY steep for some of these guys. Ya gotta realize you need to improve before you will.

Kaneki05 · Answer

I think there are incels who blame women in hateful ways and try to make women evil in their mind are wrong.

But I do think overall there is a point about guys been more desperate than girls, and if they want a girl by been themselves it ain't going to work, they need to put more effort into changing themselves while girls can just be themselves and find a man.

If I am wrong, I would love to find a girl who likes me for me and be proven to be so. And I am sure some do exist but it's rare.

Time will only tell if I am still single in 10 years time because I like been myself and want someone to accept me for me not want me to change into something I am not.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Incels are all about blaming others for their failures in relationships and sometimes life in general. They feed off their own immature delusions. As pathetic as it is, for many incels, these online communities provide a sense of belonging and validation they lack in their real lives.

NordicInScandinavia · Answer

Because it is easier to blame women for their doings that it is to take responsibility that THEY are in control of themselves and their actions.

Men complaining about that shit, should just stop going after women like that and become men that the type of women they want wish. Some forget at times that we don't need them to survive anymore.

Vevv123 · Answer

Some people are just pessimistic. They don’t realize they’re hurting themselves by being this way. Every situation has its learning opportunities and some people just haven’t learned to see it that way, by changing their perspective. Some people will never learn unfortunately. Also, lack of empathy others, lack of self reflection, because sometimes these strong emotions come from unsolved feelings.

Silver158 · Answer

The thing about incels and this includes both men and women as both fall into that category is they can get attention from the opposite sex. They're just not getting attention from the members of the opposite sex that they desire.

As for the men who fall into that category complaining, I feel you have a valid point. They generally tend not to work on themselves, I know plenty of guys who demonise women because they're not interested in them but the guy is like 280 pounds and breaks a sweat tying his shoes. But again, I don't feel this is a gender specific issue. There's a plethora of online content usually tiktok of women complaining aobut men not wanting them or the type of men they want not wanting them and they're the same, theyt just complain and expect everyone to feel sorry for them etc.

Really their complaining from both sides is just to get attention either positive or negative.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Incels gain nothing. They waste time in a perpetual pity party. These men are focused on external causes of their problems they can heap blame on. Their brains are completely blind to their own contributions to all the things they complain about.

They never learned to focus on the stuff they can control and ignore the stuff they can't control.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Because the only way for them to get sex is by forcing women like telling us we are unworthy so we should settle. The only way they get sex is by some sort of manipulation tactics. If they just walk past no one bothers to talk. The incels in my country either rape or have arranged marriages. Incels don’t ever make the first moves because they lack confidence so they try to tear women down, especially confident women who never dream of them.

236color · Answer

Okay, two things to say here. First of all, the men they say women are greedy and don't want a certain type of man are not making it up. There are many men women out there insisting they'll only accept "3 6s"; 6 feet tall, 6 figure income, 6 pack. Not by any means all women, and probably not even most. But these guys take it badly when they're sneered at.

Now, as for is it going to do them any good? No, of course not. But don't just assume they can "work on themselves" and fix it. Nobody can work themselves taller. The guys that fit that "3 6s" model probably number 5 or 6 dozen in the entire country. Both men and women seem to have lost the ability to accurately assess themselves.

RavVid · Answer

I would think there is pretty vigorous complaining from both sides of the gender fence.

Women started yelling in 1969 and I guess some men are yelling back 50 years on. I don't think it is any more surprising than that.

In either case if you don't like offered product, don't buy.

Anonymous · Answer

So you’re victim blaming the men? Cause you’re certainly not denying that that’s what women go after. You’re just telling men basically so what yes we women are like that get over it by working on yourself. So it would be ok for men to tell fat chicks it’s your fault for being fat that men don’t want you. Sounds good. No I’m not an incel either, been w someone for almost 20 years. But it’s ridiculous how women act as if nothing is their fault a lot of times. I think men are just wising up to about of the bs that we as men have let women get away w. Which yes is our fault. Men need to cut that shit from the start.

Anna_96 · Answer

It's much easier to blame everyone else but yourself. Improving yourself takes time and effort while complaining about others is pretty effortless.

Pohjolan · Answer

What do people gain from venting in general if not to releasing their frustration or anger?

Besides they are not entirely wrong. Don't get me wrong. Women don't have some kind of god given obligation to help fix the birth rate or prioritise long term relationships instead of sharing fuckboys but the shift in our mating behaviour already had social long term social effects. Incels are the ones getting the short stick of a more competitive mating competition among men and some for reasons that are out of their control or feel like they are out of their control.

Some take out their frustration on the internet while others find more healthy outlets like drawing or sports.

What do incels have to gain by complaining about women instead of working on themselves?

Sonorous · Answer

All humans like echo chambers. It's reassuring in that it validates our emotions, which further helps people not only establish but maintain identities.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Many times guys like that believe that they've either already put the work in, or they feel like no amount of work would give them success with women.

Billlewis · Answer

Hopefully not too many guys do that. I also think that they/we should continue to receive as much shame and ridicule as possible, because that’s the only way we’ll ever improve.

Pet68 · Answer

I can't think of anything that they could possibly gain. I'm guessing they do it because they're nothing more than sad, whiny, attention-seeking losers, and perhaps want people to feel sorry for them.

NathanDavis · Answer

they are not about making sense... they're inadequate AF...

Joshydavid25 · Answer

It's easy to and nice to get validation for your POV.. It's a human thing unfortunately.. To look outward first instead of reflecting on your own actions to what you could have done better.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Why do women complain about men? Why do we complain about our jobs or family members? We all complain, all the time. It's part of the human condition. One of the first phrases all kids learn is, "that's not fair!"

Anonymous · Answer

That is a question the world has been asking about feminists for a long time. Feminists are the world champions of spiteful complaining about the opposite sex. Answer the question about feminists and you will have the answer to your question here because they are cut from the same cloth.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Nothing. Blaming others for personal failures is a nice convenience that gets you nowhere in life.

David318578 · Answer

Same thing someone complaining about someone complaining gains I would think

DrPepper12 · Answer

This is the way. Every word gospel truth. Fix yourself "vol-cel"

babyfox666 · Answer

You said it yourself... because then they don't have to actually do anything to improve their lives. They are as pathetic as they sound, and worse.

Jhon_Cobretti · Answer

There are women who won't date men below 6'5 and making below 500k a year , let's not act like calling that out suddenly makes you incel.

Additionally , I don't know about women but if you're a man and you use this site regularly you're a loser , not sure about being incel.( I use this less than once a week while taking a dump)

Jennz6 · Answer

They need therapy

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

LOL. women don't work on themselves. Nearly half the population of women is morbidly obese and highly uneducated and TOTALLY UNFUCKABLE.

nonamoose · Answer

A sense of control and power, and a lack of accountability- all this results in them avoiding cognitive dissonance

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

There’s no such thing as an “incel.” If a person is celibate, it’s their own choice

talka20 · Answer

Solo yea... ud rather dm to say the rest if u dont mind?

Agape93 · Answer

A self feeding delusion

Yannae · Answer

Acceptance from other incels.

Caroline005 · Answer

Some people just love to complain.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Well nothing but they are too blind to notice

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Its a losing strategy fs

GAGsucksballs89170 · Answer

she's talking about you, republicans

Anonymous · Answer

There are certain things you can't work on; like height, facial features, etc.

In_Trance · Answer

Validation

What do incels have to gain by complaining about women instead of working on themselves?

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