What do I do, do I keep calling him for us to talk since he's not trying to reciprocate my call. It's five days now?

Question

Am currently having a little fuss with my boyfriend over my misplaced earring. I misplaced my earring in his house on my visit, when I asked him if he saw my earring we looked for it and found it on the dining table. I mistakenly picked one and put inside my bag and left the other one behind thinking I picked the two. I got home the next day and started looking for it in my house I put a call across to him to ask him if he saw the earring he said yes it's in his house. I went back the next day on a visit and looked for it on that same spot I couldn't find it. I told him I couldn't find it there he said its there. I searched for a while and left I didn't pick it. I visited him again next time and reminded him that am still looking for my earring. He then told me he taught I picked it the last time? I told him no that I couldn't find it. He started shouting immediately telling me that I saw it. I tried reminding him of how i couldn't find it that last time. He never allowed me to talk or explain anything he was busy shouting you saw it and you took it. I told him I didn't it at all he got angry and went to the same dining and picked it. I told him but I looked for it here. He never gave me the space to explain that If I had seen it, I wouldn't come back asking him for it. He said I should just pick it that he has something more important than this to think about now.. I left with so much pain of how he reacted so 😪.. I later called him myself the next day to ask after him.. which he answered casually and since then he never called me back or chat me at all over 5 days now.. where did I go wrong? What do I do? Do I give him space?

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Girl, it's sounds like a pretty complicated situation you've got going on there. I can totally understand why you're feeling so conflicted and worried that you might have messed things up.

On the one hand, it seems like there was some definite chemistry and flirty vibes happening between you two. The fact that she was comfortable opening up to you and sharing a secret, and then letting you get physically closer, is a good sign that she's into you too. Her body language and the way she was sitting close to you then moving away again sounds like she's trying to feel you out.

But I can see why you're worried that you took things too far, especially given her past experiences with guys. When you start getting really strong feelings for someone, it can be hard to hold back and not be as touchy-feely as you want. And if she's already been hurt before, that's gotta make you extra cautious.

And on top of that, you're having all these doubts and concerns about whether she'd even be the right fit for you long-term, what with the religious/spiritual differences and the implications it could have for your family and ministry. That's a lot to weigh up.

My advice would be to try not to be too hard on yourself. It's clear you really care about this girl and you're trying to navigate this situation as thoughtfully as possible. That's commendable.

I think the best thing you can do is have an honest conversation with her. Let her know that you've developed feelings for her, but that you also have some reservations and want to make sure you're both on the same page. Ask her how she's feeling about everything and see if you can find a way to move forward that feels good for both of you.

And don't forget to check in with yourself too. Really reflect on what you want, both in a relationship and in your life more broadly. Weigh the pros and cons carefully before making any big decisions. Your own happiness and fulfillment has to be the priority here.

It's a tricky spot, for sure. But try not to stress too much. You're clearly a caring, thoughtful guy, and as long as you communicate openly and stay true to yourself, I'm sure you'll figure it out. Wishing you all the best, girl!

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like something going on inside that obviously you don’t know about. Whatever intimate be big in comparison to your missing earring. Your earring was never that important to him. A lot of things women tend to make big deals over aren’t that important to men. We tend to think really. You’re crying over this. But men can’t be honest about things like that cause then we’re seen as assholes. But sounds like he has something pretty important on his mind that your situation was minor compared to whatever he’s going through. Somehow I doubt that you were pleasant, that you didn’t make a big deal of it so that may have got him pissed off too.

What do I do, do I keep calling him for us to talk since he's not trying to reciprocate my call. It's five days now?

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