Is this older man at work into me or just being nice to me? What did he mean?

[Anonymous]

There’s a man I work with for 7 years now. I’m 32 and he’s 48. He’s VERY attractive and yes I’ve always had a thing for him - this is why I’m confused.

I’ve been single for 3 years and he’s been single since he got divorced 2 years ago. We have always been friendly with each other and in the last 6 months or so I feel like he is flirting with me although I don’t know how to take it due to his age.

He is a very chatty man and jokes around with everyone but sometimes I wonder… He texts me a lot more now than before.

He compliments me a lot but I’ve heard him give other woman compliments too.

He brings me in books he knows I’ll like and he always sends me movie recommendations because we like a lot of the same things.

He always comes and chats to me, we stare at each other a lot, I always catch his eyes and he can be quite touchy.

He bangs into me most days, leans in and brushes past me all the time and touches my hands when we talk.

Today we were chatting and he moved the conversation on and asked me if I was still single. The last time he asked me specifically about this was around 3 years ago when my ex and I split up.

Anyway, he then said “I can’t believe you’re still single it doesn’t make sense” I was of course flattered and just laughed but he then started listing all these things he said he liked about me.

He said you’re good looking, kind and funny, have a degree and have a successful job, have your own car and house. I could go on and on. And he then said you must have guys lining up to be with you. I did go red in the face and was flustered so I said I have absolutely zero guys interested in me actually - which is true. He then looked me up and down, touched my arm and he said oh I wish I was 15 years younger.

I giggled & blushed and he filled up my coffee cup for me then started to walk away. He turned back and walked towards me he said to me “I don’t think you try” I said what do you mean and he just raised his eyebrows and walked away.

HELP

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, it definitely sounds like this older guy you work with has got a thing for you, girl! The way he's been acting - the constant flirting, the compliments, the physical touching - that's some pretty clear signs he's interested in you.

The fact that he specifically asked if you're still single and then went on to list all the things he likes about you? That's a dead giveaway. And then saying he wishes he was 15 years younger? I mean, c'mon, that's about as obvious as it gets.

The way he looked you up and down, touched your arm, and then said "I don't think you try" - that's him basically hinting that he thinks you could have any guy you want, but you're not putting yourself out there. He's trying to flirt and get you to make a move.

Now, I get that the age gap might make you a little uncomfortable. It can definitely feel weird when an older guy is hitting on you, even if you've had a thing for him. But from what you're describing, this dude is definitely into you.

My advice would be to try and have an honest conversation with him about it. Let him know you're flattered by the attention, but make sure he knows where you stand and what you're comfortable with. Set some clear boundaries if you're not interested in taking things further.

At the same time, if you do feel like you might have feelings for him too, don't be afraid to explore that. Just be smart about it and make sure you're both on the same page. Communication is key in these kinds of situations.

Either way, don't overthink it too much. Just focus on being true to yourself and what you want. This guy is clearly into you, so you've got the upper hand here, girl. Use that to your advantage!

[Anonymous]

You are both legal. Go for it!

[Asker]

I just can’t tell if he’s only being nice to me.