He kissed me but he has a girlfriend?

[thysbabe]

Hey everyone, I need your help and advice — this might be a bit long.

There’s a guy from my uni who was my crush for 2–3 years. During that time, we both dated other people. Later he moved to a different city after graduation, but he still messaged me occasionally.

Recently, he visited my city, stayed at my house, and even met my family. We went out — and that’s when he kissed me… for a long time. It was my first kiss, and he knew that.

After that, we sat down to eat and talked. He mentioned that his girlfriend cheated on him. I asked if their breakup made him sad, and he laughed, saying, “Who said we broke up?”

I felt terrible — if I had known he still had a girlfriend, I would’ve never let him kiss me.

Later, after he returned to his city, he told me he had a dream where he saw me with another guy and said he felt super jealous.

So I have two questions for you:

1. I didn’t used to think about him all the time, but ever since that kiss, I can’t get him out of my head. Is that normal?

2. I think he might be in an open relationship with that girl. Do you think I should text him? Or should I just leave it alone and see what happens?

Updates

11 mo

..

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Okay, first thing for me is to attempt a guilt removal spell: Since he initiated intimacy without saying anything of this situation, that fault is on him, not on you. You clearly didn't do anything wrong here.

1. It is completely normal, here is why: You had a crush for 2-3 years, it's a hell of lot of time to imagine romance, and while you're imagining it, it grows on you. So by the time that kiss happened, it probably put the cherry on the cake, it sealed feelings you had started to form much earlier in your mind. And now you want the whole cake. I would reaaaally want it too, if I was in your seat. It's as normal as it can be!

2. In all cases, for any reason at all, I think it's a good thing to talk, talk, talk openly. In that case, that's ultra important for you. Because the default setting you expect, I expect, everyone expects is: Exclusivity, until established otherwise. And clearly he didn't use that default, so this is time for The Talk here. As there's a lot you must know about his situation to figure out what to do. In turn, there's a lot of questions he has to answer. Because you really don't want to be the next object used for a revenge that doesn't even concern you anyway. So, yeah open up that guy's mind. It is urgent 👀

Good luck 🍀

[thysbabe]

Thank you for the guilt removal spell—I honestly needed that. You’re right, years of silent feelings made that kiss hit way harder. It brought everything I’d buried to the surface. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still feel confused. I agree with you—there needs to be an honest talk. I deserve clarity, not to be part of someone’s leftover mess. Thank you for reminding me that my feelings are valid. 🫶😭

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'd go even farther than saying you deserve it. I think it's sane to open up talks and ask any question, anytime, about any topic with friends, lovers, and family alike.

You're welcome 🫶🏼🍀

[spartan55]

You trying to convince yourself that he is in an 'open relationship' is the funniest shit I've read today.

[SueShe]

To answer your questions:

1. Yes it is normal since you never kissed that way before and you probably liked the experience. Sad is that he is a cheater and did not let you know about his girlfriend before he kissed you. Why should he let you know in the first place since you would not have let him kiss you. He was hoping for more of course.

2. Don't text him because you only assume that he is in an open relationship. What if he is not. Are you willing to be the cause of a breakup?

In your shoes, I would simply shut this cheater out of my life and move on. That the best thing you can do.

[thysbabe]

thank you for helping me, it means a lot... i think i really need to let him go also i dont understand why they didn't break up if there's a cheating issue between them... i am really confused but i can get over it:))

[LiaRaven]

He used you and still does and you are allowing him, go kiss another dude to forget about his nasty kiss lol

[thysbabe]

ahhhh it sucks thank you so much hahsha it was my first kiss thats why i keep thinking about it:(

[Avicenna]

If you like him, clarify his situation. Once you have that answer, you can decide to make a move or move on.

[Jeanne_neko]

may be you should ask him about his relation and his reason of kissing also, because why would a guy kiss u while being in relation

[jahaims]

Someone like that is a walking red flag and you're an idiot for getting involved

[thysbabe]

how could i know that he had a girlfriend, he never used his phone or texted anyone while staying over in my place as i said before i would NEVER kiss him if i knew it

[jahaims]

By knowing someone before you are physical obviously

[thysbabe]

oof well

[In_Trance]

So what kind of help do you need?