Should I date a best friends Ex?

[Anonymous]

Me an my friend are not as close anymore. We are friends but don’t see eachother a lot or speak a lot. She dated this guy about 6 years ago when we were younger. They never got to the relationship stage but were exclusive for some time and she really loved him. I am now starting to notice him abut because he now watches my stories whenever I post my face or a selfie. I never watch any of his because I didn’t want to seem interested or make it look like I wanted him all those years ago and I still don’t watch his stories now. I have seen him recently at an event. There were a lot of people so we were not in close proximity to eachother. I did meet his sister about 6 years ago and we have brief conversation as he was seeing my friend then. However, I looked across the room and his sister’s husband was staring me down and then so was she. It wasn’t in like a bad way but I think more curious but I just thought it was strange because I have never met her husband and I don’t really know what reason they would have to keep looking at me. My friend’s ex was also there but he was minding his business. What does this mean? Is there any potential there?

[Anonymous]

i gotta say... just because someone watches your stories all of the time, doesn't mean they want to date you. with that said, why? you don't watch his stories because you don't want to seem like you're interested, yet you are interested... why play so many mind games? just seems like a lot of drama for no reason, in general about this situation.

how are you going to move forward with this? just keep staring at him or posting stories and hoping he says something? where does this go? are you going to actually talk to him?

i get it, he's your friend's "ex". i do have a problem with my friends dating someone i used to like. or my husband's friends who he dated. i just can't seem to let it go. there will always be a bit of pain and annoyance with that. i mean, wouldn't you feel that way too? even if they weren't anything official, it is still an invisible boundary that really depends on the friendship. it can get really awkward.

[avery58]

I wouldn't recommend it. Even if she's over him, it would probably still sting a little and maybe risk losing her friendship for good. In any case, ask her how she would feel about it if you're really concerned about her feelings. What you do then it's up to you, but from an outside perspective, yes it would be shady if she wasn't comfortable with it.

[MysteriousDarkness]

Here are some contradictions tgat I have noticed.
1. You say you are best friends but are not that close.
You don't know if you're best friends, close friends, friends or acquaintances.

2. You say they were exclusive but not in a relationship.
You never said how long they were exclusive for.

3. You say you are interested in him but don't watch what he posts so you don't seem interested.
You claim to be interested but never took action to prove you are.

I have a feeling that you had plenty of time to let him know that you're interested in him but haven't or you're not as interested in him as much as you are trying to convince yourself you are. On top of that you don't know what type of friendship you have with her. With everything said I think it's best you pit all this behind you and move on with your life.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Yeah, why not? My ex-wife was telling her friend that she wanted a divorce before she told me. She is like don't get divorced but if you do I'm going to put a move on him. My ex moved out and the next day she showed up with homemade lasagna and asks to come in. I'm like I don't know you are my soon to be ex wife's friend. She says I've got homemade brownies too. I'm like wow, that is really tempting but I don't think that is a good idea. She says okay after you put the kids to bed, I'll give you a blowjob. I say well come on in. (What's the worst that can happen). We have been together for 19 years now. So there you go.

[JohnnyB123321]

Oh that’s a tough one. I’m actually starting to explore things with my long term exs friend. They are not close anymore, but I’m kinda tight with my ex and I don’t know how this will go over if we make it official. I don’t want to lose my ex to try something that will probably not pan out. But my ex certainly wishes me the best with dating in general. I would be devastated if she dated one of my friends, but I actually think my ex would probably be ok with me and one of her friends. But I’m not 100% sure.

[ohsheeT]

No no no. Would you want your best friend dating your ex. There's too many other guys out there.

There are enough guys out there. That you don't even need to come in contact with her ex. That would just kind of break her heart. I would think friends don't do that

[Summeroflove]

If someone’s single there is nothing wrong with dating someone. The relationship is OVER…. And not everyone’s right for everyone doesn't make either person bad.

Someone doesn’t have a claim on someone they broke up with. I’m sorry….

[RavVid]

There two parts to this. How will your friend react and does it matter if she takes it badly? You could ask if she minded if you take a shot.

It does seem his sister and husband know something but if the guy was interested he probably would have wanted to talk to you but it seems he didn't. Start following him I'd suggest.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

To be honest you can do whatever you want it's your life.

But you have to think would this endeavour be long term or just a fling.

If he is your friends ex how are you not concerned why he became her ex?

But I do think there is drama waiting for you if you follow this pursuit.

[Anonymous]

You can't date someone that doesn't like you. He chose your friend over you for 6 years meaning he overlooked you because you're not pretty like her. Seems like you're not attractive because why are you chasing him instead of being approached by other men? You're not desirable and you're trying to get back at your friend because you are angry and jealous that she doesn't want to be your friend

[Aakash_Hangargi]

OMG 😱

[blackeagle007]

Wow. You don’t seem female

[BadApple69]

All is fair in love and war.


You need to do what you think is right.


Personally since you said you are not as close to this friend anymore I would go for it.

[DishLady]

No... As someone who is currently watching an ex flirt with a friend JUST to get my goat, it's not something anyone should have to watch or tolerate.

[ProbablyClueless]

I don’t really get the vibe that he’s into you, but there’s nothing wrong with you trying to date him.


He and your friend were entangled a long time ago. Those days have long passed

[PeachyPie93]

If you and your friend aren't close, it shouldn't matter. But not sure if this guy is actually into you or not lol.

[PatKirby]

That's fucking low. I see the word 'loyalty' is not in your vocabulary.

This is one of the main reasons I don't date Western women.

[236color]

Not sure for girls, has a guy, definitely not.

[StephanieChick111]

If you want him. Go for it. All's fair in love and war.

[douride2]

You say your best friends. Then you say you aren't that close anymore. If it's your best friends ex I would stay away.

[Staximus]

I don't know why you want to date the guy if he didn't even bother to come over and talk to you at this recent event or whatever

[hello4433]

If his sister's husband was staring at you like that then it's creepy. I wouldn't be around any of them.

[Jamie05rhs]

Did they ever f*ck? Then no, you shouldn't date him.

[blackeagle007]

Depends. If your friend did you wrong that’s unforgivable, go for it!

[Paige90]

No! They will compare notes

[beenherebefore]

No, you shouldn't.

[WhitneySnow]

No!!! Not a good idea

[RossyBoi]

Definitely not. Massive red flag.

[Chrissywakeup]

No you’re betraying your best friend

[Anonymous]

If you want to, it's your personal choice.

[Drumlin2001]

No no no

[dudeinohio]

Sure. Go for it.

[qwerty2469]

Never

[Anonymous]

You should

[MasterKS]

Yes go for it.