If a man is tempted by another woman, does that mean he’s in the wrong relationship?

[Anonymous]

If a man is consistently tempted by another girl (other than his girlfriend), does that mean he shouldn’t be with his girlfriend?

I mean say he’s been tempted for several months but recently tried to pull back, but at times still seems flirty with the other girl. What does that say about who he really wants? Like he’s almost split between the two, hasn’t physically cheated but maybe emotionally has but trying to suppress it. Yet still going along with his girlfriend.

He met them both at a similar time, the girlfriend is nice and comfortable, the other is more passionate and intense.

[Anonymous]

Think of it as a standard bell curve, where 68% of the data falls within one deviation and 95% within two deviations from the average. What do I personally think that means? I believe 95% of men in relationships "have thought about another woman" at some point in their relationship, and 68% of men "still think about other women" besides their partner. I believe somewhere around half of that 68% act on those thoughts, or in the vernacular, cheat.

Those numbers don't leave a lot of men in the "right" relationship, if your criteria is "a man who is never tempted". There are very few of those. Men, for the most part, are creatures driven by sexual desires. It's worth noting: there has never been a completely monogamous culture in the history of recorded data. There have been predominantly monogamous cultures, but never in practice has one of them been totally monogamous. The last sentence is something most women don't want to accept about men and history.

[Anonymous]

I'll make this real simple for even you to understand. He doesn't take any of them seriously. What i mean by this is simple. None of them treat him like a real person none of them message him or call him or text him or ask him how his day was or how he's feeling if he's ok physically and mentally none of them show the slightest concern for his well-being. If he were to be homeless none of them would offer a roof for him if he were to go hungry none of them would be there to get him food. I can genuinely say that when the roles were reversed i did all of that for women but not one ever did any of that for me. None of them call or text or message or treat me like an actual person so why should i take any of them seriously for. Basically most women are full of crap plain and simple most are full of shit with ice running through their veins very coldhearted very evil. When a guy has been repeatedly hurt through cheating lying manipulation sworn at backstabbed betrayed threatened why should he take any of them seriously when none of them give the slightly interest or shit about him

[SueShe]

Men in general are ALWAYS in the wrong relationship because they will ALWAYS look at other girls. That is who the are and what they do, no matter what anyone wants to believe.
That is called emotional cheating because if they are tempted by other women, that means that they are fantasizing about them, no matter how you look at that fact.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same logic with women then always looking at other guys' money and even fantasizing other men

[class_reductionist]

sounds like you need to choose better

[2_beHappy]

It only means he didn t pick the right one. Or he s the type to cheat. Or he s indecisive in general. Whatever it is, he clearly doesn t really love his girlfriend

[Asker]

Yes and this is what worries me. He hasn’t physically cheated but i think he has strong feelings for her that maybe he tries to suppress now. I am the girlfriend and it’s my boyfriend with his coworker. We all met at a similar time and she was married (now divorced) and I think he did like her and maybe couldn’t be with her because of it and now she’s free I wonder if he’s reconsidering it.

[2_beHappy]

I m sorry to hear that, I truly am. Do you still love him?

[juleyboo74]

Hard to tell from details what my opinion would be - in general I do not presume the relationship is in danger just because a man shows interest in other women... it's what men do. Temptation, and taking action, are two differemnt things in my view. Emotional cheating is real, but again, he's with you, not the other person.

[Asker]

Yes completely get what you’re saying. I guess it’s more the emotional cheating, how much he’s invested emotionally in another women, even as you say he’s still with me

[victoriaxoxo]

If it was fleeting temptation for random women here or there that he tried to control then I would say no.

But if it specific to one particular woman and he is constantly thinking about her then it seems that he at the very least has a crush on her. His feelings are for her and not for his girlfriend.

[Asker]

Thanks, yeah it’s for a specific girl that he works with and I think has had feelings for her for several months.

[victoriaxoxo]

Yh then it’s not ok

[SotiCoto]

No. This is a fundamental difference between men and women.
Men collect, women upgrade.
Men want more, women want better.

Okay, so it isn't always so cut-and-dry as that... but usually if a guy looks at another woman it doesn't mean he is looking to replace his girlfriend. It doesn't even mean he doesn't still love her. He just craves biologically craves additional women. Like a harem. That is where his little lizard-brain is going.
From what I've seen of women though, they're definitely looking to replace... which is probably why women seem to assume men think the same way. Nope.

[SotiCoto]

Didn't mean to type "craves" twice. That looks really awkward now.

[Purpleronnie]

Your description seems like convoluted nonsense I. e your not asking about “ a man” or “any man” your likely asking about a man in or connected to your life.


A man being tempted by another woman doesn’t necessary mean anything it’s what he does about it that ‘potentially’ matters. Cheating doesn’t follow flirting and while I’m on the subject how exactly does anyone emotionally cheat? Should I have an emotion of happiness when I’m around another woman … that’s cheating ? And if so how? What absolute horseshit !!! 🤣🤣🤣


What would generally be accepted as cheating is actively pursuing a relationship with another whilst already in one , assuming was against the wishes of present partner. It doesn’t have to be anymore complex than that

[Asker]

Well said it is a real connection, actually it’s my boyfriend and the relationship he has with her coworker. We started seeing each other at the same time he started working closely with her. I always thought there was something there. Yes there’s no physical cheating no, but by emotionally I mean ‘feelings’ and potentially deep feelings, which I actually think can be worst. I mean if someone feels strong for another, just because they haven’t crossed that physical barrier does it make that ok? If someone is vacant and seems distracted by someone else, so yes it makes me feel uneasy because there may be something there between them and yes that worries me, even if he comes home to me.

[Purpleronnie]

Ok... Firstly , if you want meaningful opinions that have even the slightest chance of being in any way helpful to you i would suggest you offer us FACTS wherever possible. unless i missed it i didn't read anything factual regarding your boyfriends feelings towards this other girl. You can't guess them , he or she would have to tell you assuming he told her

Secondly , What you have a "strong feeling about" or perhaps more appropriately , what your "anxious" about doesn't mean you necessarily have to act upon it or let it cloud your judgement. A feeling on its own doesn't have to mean anything.

your whole description is "say this" and "if that" then this and to me it just sounds like neurotic jealous nonsense and a little pathetic.

if your boyfriend is going to cheat , he is going to cheat , that's on him and that makes him an asshole and trusting him not to? , well that's up to you ! , but you can't suspect something , worry over it making it almost true in your head , then judge him for it , this will just create more distance between you and him.

My advice , get yourself in front of both of them and pay attention to what is or isn't there between then before you judge him.

you have nothing to support your worry about him having strong feels for her but even if he did he likely would never tell you so you can't do anything and you can't go through your life thinking that id someone has a good relationship with a colleague that there is "something" going on or strong feelings , thats just neurotic nonsense. Deal with what you can prove or whats in front of you , there isn't a problem until there is

[Alex_Bright]

If he would only turn his head when looking at a girl on the street, I'd say he needs more sex. But this is a step too far, and I wouldn't give much value to this relationship.

The nice and comfortable girlfriend is usually better girlfriend material, the passionate and intense one might seem exciting, but is usually a bad choice. He doesn't seem to have this figured out yet, and is about to lose both in a few months time.

Feel free to reach out if you want to discuss more.

All the best,
Alex

[TrimmedTip]

It sounds like he’s emotionally conflicted, not fully committed. Being tempted alone doesn’t automatically mean he’s in the wrong relationship—but staying in one while emotionally leaning toward another does raise serious red flags.

If he’s drawn to passion and intensity but staying for comfort, he needs to get honest—with himself and with his girlfriend. Suppressing feelings or staying out of obligation isn’t fair to anyone involved.

Bottom line: if someone’s heart is divided for months, it’s a sign the current relationship probably isn’t right—or at least needs a serious conversation.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Some guys, guys like me, just want to bang both girls!!!

I mean think about this deeply for a second... outside of what a friends with benefits's offers, what does a committed relationship offer? Too many men give up the demands of a committed relationship when they only really wanted the benefits to begin with. There is a good chance that's all he wants from both of them, and the ones holding the benefits hostage in exchange for commitment are the women.

So I propose they have a FFM threesome a few times and then start talking about commitments.

[Finchie40]

It means he is a cheater and means he isn’t satisfied with what he has already. because if he was satisfied , he wouldn’t be checking out other girls’ and making any attempts to be with another girl period. So if his girlfriend is wise , the best thing for her to do is dump his ass and go find herself a guy that actually values her and loves her , that doesn’t need anyone else but her

[byrdman89]

Hold on hold on! It's like everybody wants to kill this guy! LOL based on what we know from the question he didn't do anything wrong in fact he resisted successfully a temptation which should be good right? I mean all of us are tempted by something at some point we can't just go out and decide I won't be tempted by anything today - so maybe the guy resisted some sort of temptation and took steps to eliminate it - if so I said good job! :)

[Asker]

Yes I mean I think you’re right he physically hasn’t crossed any barriers, but emotionally I think he has, like a lot and that’s what worries me,- it’s my boyfriend and his relationship with his coworker

[Vegasrunner]

It's sad that women never understand this until they are going through it. Men always want variety, and to rebut the weirdos who responded "it's not all men" it's most men and they overwhelming majority of the type of men women want. Most women could do themselves a favor by accepting this reality and working more on doing what it takes to be the main one.

[Asker]

Yeah ok makes sense, what about if the temptation is consistent though?, same woman over several months? Does it matter that it’s not been physical, emotionally he has been compromised and yet his girlfriend has no idea

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker Temptation will always be consistent that's part of being a man. The fact that it hasn't been physical is why it's the same woman. You can't speak for his emotion. You're doing what women typically do, which is attribute your belief system onto a man. You woukd be comprised if you were with a man and were tempted by another man. Men aren't concerned with that.

[Asker]

How do you mean the same that he hasn’t been physical is why it’s the same woman?

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker It's going to be difficult for you to understand because in your head you think that the temptation is an emotional one. Men think I'm terms of solutions. Since he hasn't had sex with her yet, he'll continue to be tempted until he does. Once we have sex w/ you guys is when we lose the temptation because we finally have concured what we want.

[AMS700CX4u2]

People do suffer from infatuations. Remember that one of the biggest hurtles that mankind had to deal with, when we started giving up the hunter/gatherer life and moving to a more agrarian society, was the concept of monogamy. It is not natural. Female lust cycle don't fade away and neither does a males wandering gaze. It is a challenge.

[RavVid]

We like window shopping. As in the pic.

If say there was a girl I am flirty with, I may not intend it to go further than that. I think it is wrong because you should not give your partner reason to doubt you.

[Asker]

Yes and this is the thing, especially what if the temptation is the same girl over several months. , what does that say about his committed he is?

[RavVid]

Being quite serious about this.

We are quite capable of appreciating a girl as thing of beauty and obviously our partner is not going to like that we think another girl is more beautiful than she is. But there is a novelty factor too; we like looking at other girls bodies. Men are never going to stop window shopping like this because we are built to respond to nubile girls.

This happens in the Feed, Flee, Fight or Fuck brain that is just above the cerebellum. It is quite basal and not even conscious. These are 300 million yo instincts, so not amenable to being over-ridden. As i said men are not going to stop responding to beautiful things.

We are capable of enjoying being flirtatious without further intent just because it is fun without further intent. Just as women can be. It might become a pattern and part of the repartee to be flirtatious without a thought of it being more than that

Or it could be casting our bread upon the waters with the intent of seeing if another fish might be interested that is better. Same pattern but different intent.

I don't think a partner should give you doubt and it is a sackable offense if they do. In my case I would sack.

[Miristheiss]

No, it means he needs good boundaries with other people. He may be spending too much time with this person and he needs to honor his commitment and not put himself in a tempting situation.

[Asker]

And the way to do that is to avoid that person? The reason I ask is because it’s my boyfriend and his coworker, who he sees daily. I think there are some feelings there, we all met at a similar time but she was married going through a divorce and now she’s single. I think he’s tried to suppress it, but I don’t know if I can trust him.

[Miristheiss]

It has to come from him. He has to want it, to choose it. You can't really do anything.
All you can do is have a "put all the cards on the table conversation".
Talk like a guy. Be blunt. Don't be wishy washy about what you want and what you feel.
Tell him bluntly that I am aware you are seeing and spending a lot of time with this woman. I think you are interested in her and I cannot be in a relationship like this.
You can see where the conversation goes. If he acts like he understands and he professes he wants you and he is willing to put up safeguards to distance himself from her then you can maybe try and proceed with him. If he dismisses you, says there is nothing going on, tells you that you are being paranoid and he plans to just keep seeing her with no change then you have to be prepared to accept he is not a good long term fit and that you'll be miserable with him going forward and be willing to just end things.

I don't know the job. Do they have to work close or is she someone he really may only see from a distance from time to time. A lot of jobs you aren't forced to spend loads of time together... the individuals actually seek each other out.
Is he going out to lunch with her and stuff? He shouldn't. If he is already doing stuff like that you should probably just end it.

He has to be willing to accept he is getting some feelings and choose to stay away from her. If he is enjoying the feelings and craving the time with her and not wanting to stop then it is already over.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Hmm so you telling me that you honestly didn't find any other guy other than your partner handsome or have never looked at another man ever?

And you didn't had a crush or never loved dated a guy before your partner?

[Asker]

Yes of course I mean that’s normal, but what about if it’s the same consistent person and I mean over a significant period of time? does it always have to become physical to become a problem. What about emotionally if they start to develop strong feelings?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

If it was going to happen it would have happened by now

[Shiprex]

No, he could be tempted by someone else in that lust is a real thing but he should learn to temper his desires and focus on the individual he has committed to.

[Asker]

Yes agreed, but how would he temper that desire. I say it because it’s my boyfriend and his coworker, so they see each other daily and I worry emotionally he’s too involved.

[Shiprex]

He's got to make sure boundaries are clear and not pushed.

[Anonymous]

if you get into a committed relationship, you will always find someone else attractive. but you don't cheat out of respect for your spouse/ partner. if you want to cheat, maybe you shouldn't ever get into monogamous relationships.

Being married is "I'd rather give up on all the temptation on earth to be with my spouse"

[Summeroflove]

If you’re tempted but control it. Repent of it. Don’t act on it. Don’t keep thinking about it. It can happen to the best of us. But if it’s consistently…… that’s a issue.

Maybe he has the right woman. He just has little self control and eventually when thinking about it isn’t enough most people will act eventually.

[HawkPerception]

Tempted? We have eyes. Just because something attractive catches our eyes doesn't mean we're unfaithful. And just because we're in a relationship and love our partner doesn't mean we suddenly find every girl in the world unattractive.

Classy guys try not to look in front of their partner so it doesn't make them feel uncomfortable, but I can promise you, we all notice.

[Anonymous]

A man like that shouldn't be in a relationship. He lacks maturity.

[Asker]

Agreed

[Nikki1989]

Newsflash: 99% of men are always tempted. Some are just better at hiding it than others.

[sinestro23]

men will have some form of temptation no matter what, he could be with his literal dream girl come to life and after some time he'll still think about/jack off to other women... no one wants to eat the same meal non-stop and craves variety

[Asker]

Yeah ok but what about if it’s the same woman (temptation) over several months? Even if it’s not physical, emotionally is just how things are or is it wrong?

[lorenzomichael]

Being tempted as far as I know, it’s not a sin. It’s when you act on that temptation with another woman while you have a woman then you’re just a fucked up person in a relationship you might have just ruined. so it’s OK to look (not stare) at the menu even if you’re on a diet just don't move passed that because you belong to another.

[Damcky]

No. Just because you drive a Ferrari doesn’t mean you can’t look at a hot Mustang:

[an_nMary]

Hahaha

[Asker]

Haha what about if he does it repeatedly same girl over several months?

[beefcakebradybatson]

Not unless he acts on the temptation.(Like my father, I'm a one-woman man.)

[Asker]

He hasn’t physically acted on it, but I believe emotionally he might have, as in he has strong feelings for her.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Biblically, he's cheated by lusting after another woman, but actually he hasn't unless he's bopped her.

[Layla_99]

If he has actually developed feelings for this person your relationship is doomed. He will never consider your feelings. There is difference between admiring someone’s beauty and actively going after someone else because they have feelings. I would definitely reconsider this relationship.

[Alex-Snow]

Not really... it is ok to look but do not act on it. It is ok to admire other people but it should not mess up your relationship

[McSteamy]

No. Getting attracted to others doesn't mean a wrong relationship. We can get attracted to anyone. It's all about how you take grip on your emotions and behave wisely. It is why respect is above love. Respect your partner.

[Asker]

So you mean he may even love the temptation, but respectful to the partner?

[McSteamy]

Sorry I didn't read the description.. just read the question and gave opinion.. after reading the description.. i would say, he should not even flirt with that woman even if he has feelings for her, the flirting is a sign of him showing his interest, meant, he's telling her that he's available to her. That's a disrespect to his partner, which I find unforgivable.

[glennos89]

A loyal guy wouldn't flirt with another woman when he is in a relationship

[exitseven]

Everyone gets tempted. It is what you do is what is important.

[Anonymous]

Men are supposed to be tempted by a lot of women to spread their seed and make babies. Women are supposed to tempt men to get them to make them pregnant. Biology going back to prehistoric times, it has never changed.

[DishLady]

Depends how "tempted". Glancing is not the same as visual lingering. The intent and purpose are different.

[Anonymous]

I have serous feelings for one girl, and I find it hard to pursue others. I wouldn't feel comfortable committing to someone unless my feelings were overtaken by her.

[noohair]

Everyman has a caveman part of his brain. That part of the brain seeks to spread his DNA. If he is openly flaunting that in from of you, he has issues.

[Ironco]

Men are visual creatures, you can't change this. It doesn't mean he is cheating. It's just human nature to look.

Now if he actually cheats, that is most definitely wrong and get out.

[George200025]

I say no way, I think it is pretty normal to wonder about other options even when it comes to something like ordering food at a restaurant. And just because he finds other girls hot doesn’t mean that he wants a relationship with them.

[Ariesman81]

We want a wife and a whore. If he checking out others, it means you aren't fulfilling one of those roles.

[AngryCarl2]

There's a difference between having sexual thoughts about another woman and wanting a relationship with her.

[Tracy2025]

Not necessarily. Feeling tempted can just mean you’re human.

[NervousIndividual]

I believe men should be truthful, faithful, and learn to regulate and control their sexual impulse. A man should not be looking at another woman when he has a girlfriend.

[LiamJHayden]

If he does not at least find other women somewhat alluring he probably suffers from low T.

[Babygirl_S]

No, he’s out of control

[Asker]

Yes agree

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Not necessarily but it does mean he's love for his woman isn't big enough.

[robocop666]

I catch women every day with their husbands and children checking me out. Why does nobody ever talk about women doing this?

[class_reductionist]

sounds like he shouldn't be in a relationship

[Flrbeta]

No, the majority of men get tempted. its how he reacts and controls himself.

[Anonymous]

It usually means he is not loyal.

[Asker]

Yes I mean he hasn’t crossed any physical barriers, but emotionally it’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

He does not deserve a relationship. Respect goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

If he’s flirting with another woman , that’s cheating.

[CarolinaCutie5]

What do you think?

[Asker]

Well I would say so yes, but it seems a lot of people justify it as men look and that’s ok, but it’s more than that

[Wise4myage]

Quite possibly.

[Asker]

Why do you think that?

[Wise4myage]

Because if he was in a happy relationship, he' never be tempted in the first place.

[Asker]

Yeah ok, what about if he was for several months but then tries to suppress it and lean into his girlfriend?

[Wise4myage]

Then he's guilty, lol.

[Asker]

You mean that’s why he’s suddenly trying to suppress it?

[Wise4myage]

Correct.

[Asker]

Yeah ok

[Wise4myage]

Has the sex dried up?

[Asker]

Yes a bit, you think that’s why he’s looking elsewhere?

[Wise4myage]

Sure seems like it

[fonduegirl]

If he's actively flirting, dump him

[DrPepper12]

Lol. No. It means you're human - any gender

[HelenaHandbasket]

Being tempted is not an issue. Acting on it is.

[RedInnocent69]

No. Guys have hormones. Attraction is not personal

[jahaims]

For sure

[AttaTony]

That’s a good question homie

[Excelelliott16]

No some are cheats and some just like to admire

[RossyBoi]

Yes.

[In_Trance]

Not necessarily