For the 27 year old guys, is 40 too old for a potential partner for you?

[Anonymous]

I was at the mall today and this guy stopped me to tell me I’m gorgeous.

I looked around to see if it was a prank and ultimately said no. And I thanked him for being sweet

then I tried to leave and he got in front of me to stop me, I said I was in a hurry.

he said I was too beautiful for this opportunity to just slip by and if I could just take his number

I said no sorry I’m in a hurry. I didn’t want to say I’m too old, I just knew it and wanted to leave and he got in-front of me again and insisted I take his number so I did it.

so he’s texting me now and I told him I’m more than 10+ years older than you so this is not gonna work, wish you the best.

but he insists that it can work because I’m exactly his type. He says

and what’s weirder is that I wasn’t wearing any makeup at all! And wearing large oversized pants and large oversized shirt. How is this even attractive. I feel strange.

I almost never go out. I don’t have a partner and don’t have kids.

I want family as most do, but I think a 27 year old will not stay with me because of the age even if he says he feels im his type.

what’s your guy’s advice?

I know plenty of women who by 40 are already done with relationships, already had kids and just want to have fun, maybe that type is the type most 27 year olds would want because it’s just a “fun time” and then move on..

but I’m different. I’m not done with relationships because I’ve never had one. I’m not done with kids because I’ve never tried to have one before. I’m want a permanent partner, love and a little family.

If he insists I need to just keep saying no right?

we look about the same age but the fact remains I’m 10+years older

27 year old guy would just want to date/sex/ and next eventually

27 year old would want to start a family and stay with a woman 40yo

[bowenw]

I suggest you get to know each other and see how things are going after a year or two.

[Asker]

What if I don’t want to waste a year or two? At my age a year seems like a long time
To waste on someone that’s not actually considering staying with me like marriage type..

I keep telling him he’s looking for fun and I’m looking for a forever partner and the age gap is so big that it will just not work because I’m sure he’s not interested in staying with someone this much bolder than him but he keeps insisting that it can work

[bowenw]

In that case, see how the relationship is going after a shorter amount of time, like 6 months. Try to see each other as much as you can in that time, including going on trips together, or living at each other's places for weeks at at time. The more you can know about each other and the less left to chance the better.

[Asker]

Don’t most men cheat on their wives with younger women? I mean in general the average cheater does that… so let’s say I try and give this a chance, aren’t I just setting myself up for this type of relationship and if men cheat in their wives who tend to be around their own age , with other woman who are much younger, then with more reason if he does take me seriously and we workout, aren’t my chances of getting cheated on much greater than if I were to find someone closer to my age instead?

I feel I don’t want to put time into someone that I know in the end it will be a loss for me.. and I don’t know how to tell him no anymore

[bowenw]

I don't have any statistics about cheating. I know very few people in real life that have. Maybe I am naïve and it is actually happening all around me. A person's history is a good indicator of what they will be like going forward. Is there anyway you can find out about his past and why his previous relationships ended?

[itsannalee]

For sex maybe nope.
But serious relationship it’s kinda rare, but it’s still possible.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, most men would bang a tree if it had titties.

[Asker]

What do you mean don’t worry? If 27 year olds just want sex I’m not interested. That’s why I’m asking. I feel it would be a waste of time for me to give this guy a chance at dating if he’s just looking for a fun time and not actually wanting a permanent partner.. I have a feeling a 27 year old would not take any 40 year old seriously. That’s why I’m asking.. :/

[MasterKS]

all sex.

[Asker]

It’s not likely that he’s actually serious about a real lasting relationship right? What if I keep telling him that and he keeps insisting that it “CAN” work and that “we can happen” ? I don't know how to keep telling him no because he’s looking for fun while I’m focusing on finding someone that will be with me forever because I don’t have time for just fun but he keeps saying he understands and that it can work and that we can make it work etc