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Im 29 yr old woman. Every time I go out, its usually old men 40+ who make eye contact with me and look friendly. The young guys ignore me, avoid eye contact at all costs, as if they're too good for me. I am not looking for a boyfriend who is 40+ which is the issue. Young guys aren't receptive to me at all. I don't know what to do?
From what I gather online watching a lot of videos from both men as well as women, you get men just don’t feel like women these days are worth it. I can kind of see why. The reality of it too is maybe you’re not that good looking. I’m not saying that to be mean but men do usually gravitate toward looks first. The men you’re interested in maybe be a level or two or more above where you should actually be level wise. I’ve seen a lot of videos of women telling men to leave them alone. Stop approaching women, we don’t need you, etc, etc. That could be another reason. There’s a lot of reasons.
Can i give u a pic?
Attractiveness of the guys who have checked me out really doesn't have anything to do with it. I've had ugly guys check me out. I've also had average looking guys check me out.
I get you’re younger but you’re basically 30 which pts you in an older age category when it comes to a lot of men dating and what they look for.
I’d love to see a picture. I could be wrong as well but maybe a lot of these older men think you’re much older.
can I just send you my instagram link?
i actually look younger than my age
Sure
https://www.instagram.com/nelly.nel456/
the stash of pics is in the first post
So what do you think?
I didn’t not realize I can’t see it w out have an Instagram myself. I may have to ask someone to look it up for me.
do you have any other form of social media? i can't email you these images because its too large of an attachment and i have multiple pics
Just this. I don’t get on social media.
@opinionowner
this was one of the questions I asked last month. I had a boss call me beautiful but he didn't seem interested.
Just feels like no guys are interested.
My boss called me a beautiful girl? do you think he is interested? ↗
I keep hearing stories about how other girls are getting approached.
Or guys asking girls about their rings on their fingers.
Or guys who say they have dated someone from work.
I literally get no interest and its depressing. I just feel so undesirable like I don't even know why I'm trying to date. My market value is so low.
So a real question. Are you being realistic about who you’re wanting to date? A lot of women tend to think they are 10s, that because a number of men hit on them or flirted w them they are in the upper echelon of men. But the reality of it is that things like that don’t really determine your “league” as the saying goes. Sure a lot of men want to sleep w a lot of women, but ultimately most of them don’t want to commit. So it gives a woman an inflated ego of all these men in her DMs when they’re just looking to get laid. I hope that makes sense.
@opinionowner
I don't think there is truly such a thing as league. Because anyone with life experience knows beauty is in eye of the beholder.
I've had average looking guys find me attractive, ugly looking guys find me attractive. I've had handsome guys tell me I'm pretty. So it really has nothing to do with the way he looks.
Upper echelon men never have to flirt with girls. They have girls coming over to flirt with them
But right now, the reality is... I'm barely getting any attention from anyone. Part of the reason could be that I am a bad dresser. But its just frustrating how there are literally some people who do think I'm attractive YET, I never get hit on.
Last month, I was stuck in an elevator with a married couple where the husband was a literal 10 out of 10 while his wife was just a 7.5-8 out of 10. In most couples, there will always be 1 person that is more attractive than the other. It's rare that you will find two people of the same exact attractiveness.
I've been called ugly by some men. But then I have also been called beautiful by some. I've even had a guy stare at me out of the corner of his eye near a river. Another male classmate who had a crush on me purely due to the way I look.
I don’t mean levels as in just your looks, but in everything overall. For men a big part of it is looks. That’s what usually draws men in. I do think there’s levels, but there are some exceptions. For instance a lt of women will go for an ugly man as long as he has a lot of money. Most times men aren’t going to go for a girl who has a lot of money if she doesn’t look good. Your situation may be anecdotal. But everything isn’t 100% be all end all, there are outliers in everything.
@opinionowner
There aren't many young women who want old ugly men. Even if he did have a lot of money, it only attracts a very small portion of the female population. Reality is... vast majority of us young women have great decent earning careers and we have no need to marry someone that we aren't attracted to, just to live a good life. We can afford ourselves decent lives and send ourselves on vacation
Im 29, really not interested in ugly old men. Most of these ugly old dudes dont have a lot of money any way. Its just the delusion that old ugly men use to make themselves feel better
@opinionowner
I can easily get a 45 yr old man if I want. But I have my standards. I am not interested in dating anyone beyond 37.
lol you’d be surprised how many women go for older men cause they have money. The reality is you think it’s a flex that you make money but to men it isn’t. It’s not an attraction for men, that’s why there are a lot of women who make a lot of money who are still single. A lot of women come to reality that they do t want to work the rest of their life hustling and grading to retain that life. Sure their mindset is different at a younger age, they think they can do it for the rest of their lives. Some may be able to. But overtime women tend to see other women married w children, w a husband who does everything for them, who treats her rights, who’s chivalrous, then they start to want the same too. Because they want to live that soft life. But by then for most it’s too late cause they’re almost 30 or in their 30s where a lot of men don’t want to pursue them.
Yes I know you can but the thing is you don’t want those men. But the men you want don’t necessarily want you. That’s the ultimate win there to get the man you want.
According to Pew Research Center studies, the average age gap between husbands and wives in the United States has narrowed over the past 20 years, currently averaging around 2.2 years, according to a Facebook post from Pew Research Center. This trend indicates a growing number of couples who are roughly the same age.
www.pewresearch.org/.../
[But by then for most it’s too late cause they’re almost 30 or in their 30s where a lot of men don’t want to pursue them.]
You will be begging for the attention of a 30 yr old woman by the time you are 45.
But women in their 30s dont tend to want old ugly men in their 40s. Neither do women in their 20s
By the time you hit 50s. It only will get worse for you. Don't think there are plenty of women in their 20s to 30s dying to get with a 50 yr old man. We aren't attracted to you.
@opinionowner
[But the men you want don’t necessarily want you. That’s the ultimate win there to get the man you want.]
Oh, old ugly men are obsessed with young women. In real life and over the internet. But I can't force myself to date someone Im not attracted to. Sorry
lol please keep telling me more. How has that worked for you? It hasn’t. I’ve been w my wife for 18 years, so I think I’m onto something. What happens a lot of the time is women tend to like to tell us men what we think or how we should think or act rather then asking questions to learn from men why we are the way we are. Useful information that could help women. Because unless you’re a lesbian it behooves you to get word directly from men why we act and think the way we do to increase your chances of meeting a man. But no they don’t. They get in their feelings. They ask other women how men think, how we act, what she should do to help her meet someone rather then just listening to what men say. But please tell me how I’m wrong as a man that that’s not how I really feel, or how a majority of men feel cause for some reason women seem to always think they’re right about everything.
@opinionowner
I know what women are attracted to because I am a woman. You don't know what women are attracted to because you're not a woman
I wouldn't be attracted to you regardless if you're married or unmarried. Vast majority of men look like shit by the time they hit 40. It only gets worse by 50. But somehow men think they tend to get hotter as they lose hair, get fat wrinkly, saggy, weak and balding. Dont forget the erectile dysfunction too.
I rather stay single than to date ugly old men Im not attracted to
Men need women more than women need men. Single women can start families. Single men can't. So if you're an old ugly 50 yr old man, good look on trying to find a young woman of childbearing age who actually wants to have your kids.
lol ok. Bu the way I was able to look at your pic you sent through a friend. In all honesty w out trying to sound mean you need to work on your skills as far as what would attract a man.
@opinionowner
I don't take any advice from a jaded, bitter, ugly old man who hates women.
Sorry.
your advice doesn't matter because its written out of spite.
I've had all sorts of people call me beautiful.
Tell me that when you’re still single later down the road. You haven’t the slightest idea what I look like. But I know what you look like and I can see why men aren’t trying to get w you. The ones that are like I said aren’t the ones you want so for you to say there’s men who call you beautiful isn’t a win cause like I said you don’t want them. The men you want see through you. But keep on w your feelings.
@opinionowner
Old guys or ugly guys dont tend to call me beautiful cuz they know I am not open to their advances.
Im not worried about being single till Im older. I can have kids on my own without a husband
The rule is simple for a man: if you’re going to approach and make the first move, establish eye contact. If you’re not going to make the first move, then avoid eye contact. Men in their 40s, having reached the maximum level of financial stability and confidence, see the woman in front of them as more approachable. Personally, yes, lately young men can’t make the first move. In my circle, including myself, I don’t know anyone who can do a cold approach in any setting.
Financial stability means nothing if there is no physical attraction. Its also wrong to assume all old men are Financial stable. I have my own money, I dont need to marry an old ugly man for money
What I’m saying is a factor that affects confidence, but to be honest, the whole “can we meet, miss?” model like pickup artists do with complete strangers outside isn’t suitable or a risk worth taking for most men. We’re not living in the Middle Ages there’s social media, there are other apps, whoever wants to find someone can find them there.
Yea I find people get more confident when they get older and uglier
😂👍 unattractive man have no pride to lose, so sometimes they take their chances even though they know they might get rejected. I had a friend who was like a 9/10 in looks and he once told me, “I don’t put any effort into finding a girlfriend in the places I go, girls reach out to me on Instagram.” He has never had to make the first move on a girl.
I don't know. Sad thing for me is that I never get approached. Yet I still have some people who consider me very very beautiful. Not everyone thinks im beautiful but even the ones who make a huge deal about my beauty, never ever approach me
On a very very rare occasion, I might have a guy stare or check me out like once a year. But never approach. I never get approached at bars either
It all feels hopeless. I feel as invisible at 29, just as I would be at 49
I just feel like nobody has "game" in our dating world nowadays unless theyre insanely attractive like a 9 or 10 out of 10. Everyone else just gets ignored
the quality is so low on the dating apps. Only people who can't get a date in real life tend to use the apps
Percentage Distribution by Methods of Meeting (2025)
Online / Social Media 45–60%
Friends / Mutual Circles 15–24%
Workplace ~10%
University / Education ~7%
Social Events / Gatherings ~5–9%
Family / Community Settings ~3–4%
Hobbies / Shared Interests ~2%
if you’re not going to university or don’t have a wide social circle, then your only options are to rely on the power of social media or to find someone at work (though workplace dating doesn’t feel ethical).🤝
This happens to me too, hilariously. See young guys are looking for sluts, old guys are looking for young women to take advantage of. Older men are just wiser and know the circumstances of society for women better. I am creeped out by it but like if guys my age are uninterested I'll be forced to be single or settle for some old man.
They want sluts? So i would have to dress like a slut?
Jeez, Leah… take it down a notch? 🫤
@LuXtreme
Men dont look for sluts? Its ONLY sluts who get hit on!
Who gets guys approaching them? A girl with a sweater and jeans or the girl in high heels and mini dress?
@LuXtreme
Liar.
Truth is... men won't admit what they truly want
@LuXtreme
Men love hoes. They just won't admit it.
@LuXtreme
Why do women get plastic surgery, butt lifts, wear high heels, makeup, spend too much money on dresses and fashion? Breast implants? Hair treatments?
Is it because men prefer the girl wearing a sweater and jeans with a small butt and no makeup on?
Hell no!
Women know what men want. Its just men are CONFLICTED about what they want
He wants a girl with huge ass and tits and amazing at sucking dick but yet, he also wants someone naive, inexperienced, submissive
If you want a girl who is great at sucking dick, she won't be inexperienced and low body count
If you want a woman with low body count, she will be bad in bed
So a girl in high heels and a mini dress is considered a slut? 🙄 What is this, the morality police of Saudi Arabia?
@LuXtreme
Men usually dont care about that stuff. He will hit on her as long as that botox looks good.
Opinion
3Opinion
It's not that they think they're too good for you. They are scared of you. Men in general, especially younger men, have been brow beaten and shamed so much over the last decade, and especially with the MeToo movement, that they are scared of the consequences of approach women.
You said young guys aren't receptive to you, but that's not accurate unless you are approaching them and they are rejecting you. If you are not taking the initiative, then there is nothing for them to be receptive to. Maybe you should be it.
Honestly same goes for me, older women (i am 26, i am talking about 30 to 35 max for myself) seems more approachable.
Funny thing is... i am out of the league of these old men. But they're the only ones who think they're good enough to talk to me.
They guys who won't make eye contact -- they think you are out of their league.
Funny thing is... i am out of the league of these old men. But they're the only ones who think they're good enough to talk to me.
You dont know that. As far as I have seen, old men tend to be obsessed with young women
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