Does guy saying “I just want to be friends first” actually mean it?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I've been talking to this guy for almost 2 months and I thought it was going really well, we’d FaceTime eachother often enough and talk every day but, recently I went out of the country for a family vacation and I noticed since I left he’s been really dry and kind of “ghosting” me, so I asked him about it and he said he’s been going through some “family” things and that in past relationships he’s moved fast so this time he wants to be “friends first” before anything, which I completely understand and agree with but at the same time it’s confusing. After that conversation he’s just been talking to me a lot less; EX. Opened for a day+ lost our streak on snap (context: we go to the same uni but haven’t hung out irl yet, (F19) (M20)

[firenine909]

He could just be losing interest in you in general. It seems like that to me. The moment you weren’t as close to him he’s been distant. It might not bode well if you have to constantly be in contact with him although I think you could spell out the boundaries and expectations you have for your connection with him and hope that he understands how you feel

[Asker]

I already have spelled out those boundaries very clearly and that’s when he told me he was dealing with family trouble and wanted to be friends first

[firenine909]

Maybe he has ptsd in regard to his family. It might be best to try to get to know him better when enough time has passed. More in a person way than romantically/intimately

[Asker]

Agreed! Either way we both agreed that it’s better to be friends rn because either of us don’t want to rush into anything, I was just getting mixed signals 😭

[Staximus]

You go to the same college but you haven't hung out yet after talking for 2 months? Forget about this guy, he just wants a pen pal

[Staximus]

Never mind stupid Snapchat and stupid FaceTime. If a guy doesn't want to see you in real life then he's not interested

[Asker]

For clarification he’s an out of state student and my university hasn’t started yet, it’s still summer for us hence why we haven’t hung out yet

[Staximus]

I don't know why you're even worried about a guy who you haven't seen in real life

[Asker]

I agree both platforms are stupid I’m done playing games like that 😭

[Asker]

Yeah I don't know either I guess I got caught up in the attention

[Staximus]

Don't invest too much time and energy or get your hopes up over some guy that you just talk to online. Once the guy steps out of the bullshit internet world, gets off the dumb phone and meets you in the real world like a man, then you can worry about what he thinks.

[Asker]

Thank you I very much needed to hear this, if he wants to actually be a man and plan to see me so be it but if not whatever I have better things in my life to worry about

[Staximus]

That's right

[Staximus]

Don't let people waste your time with wishy-washy bullshit

[Asker]

Thank you! I won’t 🙏

[jahaims]

How would we know if a stranger is lying to you or not lol

[Asker]

I don’t know lmao but I’d hope I’d get some truth to understand the situation better

[Anonymous]

Yeah seems like he’s not interested

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

Np👍🏻

[spartan55]

How have you not met yet? So weird.

[Asker]

No because he’s an out of state student so he’s been back in his state for summer when we started talking and my university starts late September

[spartan55]

Hardly seems worth it.

[In_Trance]

nope

[Asker]

Noted 😭