Why a typically rude guy would suddenly start showing good manners?

[DishLady]

There's a guy who's known for being disrespectful towards women and I called him out on it one afternoon, telling him in a very calm but direct manner that he just doesn't know how to treat women.

Suddenly every time he sees me he gets up out of his seat, He's careful to show off all his best manners, etc. It makes me chuckle a bit because it's so out of character. Everyone is noticing the transformation and commenting, crediting me for it, but I hardly think that's the case.

Just wondering what brought this transformation about.

Updates

8 mo

I’ve done that but he very often says one thing and does another. It’s not clear what his issue is.

[Communicationisking]

Could be a few things... prob more than I can think of

You called him out and now he is trying to make you think he is not a dick

As above and he isn't a dick but had shit going on and didn't realise he was being a dick

He is intimidated by you because you aren't submitting to his shitty demanding ways

He it trying another angle to try control/(insert word here) you

He feels he has no power over you and respects you and sees you on his level because you didn't cause a scene and just called it how it was for you and stood your ground ie. he thinks your strong

Good on you for doing what you did... respect

I have to assume this is a work setting more likely than a social setting... if a work setting even more respect to you

[DishLady]

No, initially it was just a social setting. He's recently plopped himself into my professional space as well, though, which is disturbing. Not sure what his ROI is or who he's trying to impress.

[Communicationisking]

Carry on doing what you are doing and respectfully making it known to him he is beneath (little harsh but you know what I mean) you.

[DishLady]

That seems really mean…

[Communicationisking]

I'm not saying be mean I just think what you did was great and if he becomes disrespectful again then continue to do what you did

[ryanrhino]

The negative side of me says he is doing it to mock you. "Ooooo, I don't know how to treat women, so I'll treat you extra nice every time I see you."

The positive side of me says he is doing this because he values your opinion and took it to heart. I tend to go here, as there are truly rare "bad" people in this world.

[HollyK21]

Some people lack self awareness, and I think you calling him out how you did brought his bad behavior to light that he may not have even known was there. There’s something about calling people on their bullshit that can incite a huge change lol.

[DishLady]

He certainly did -- on some levels still does. He doesn't realize how his words and actions impact others, how his "beating to his own drummer" but also promising times etc. can be disruptive (in the bad way) to other people's lives and schedules.

[Spencer10]

Maybe no woman never told him he needed to up his game? A little communication and education can go a long way. Some guys have no clue honestly... through no fault of their own. Kudos to him taking your comments to heart.

[DishLady]

Yes, kudos for sure, but... standing up is an old fashioned thing he either learned when he was a kid or didn't I've never seen him bother at all.

[bowenw]

Possibly likes you and is trying to impress you.

[DishLady]

It sort of did impress me. But he has problems with consistency. Let's see if he's consistent with it.

[bowenw]

That is a very good plan. Hopefully he has permanently improved.

[DishLady]

We'll see. If he does it three times in a row then it's a habit.

[bowenw]

He may appreciate some positive reinforcement if he makes it to three times.

[DishLady]

I always smile and thank/hug him. He's usually such a twitchy sort of mf that this is a very different side of him. Makes him seem taller too.

[bowenw]

Good manners for hugs seems like a very good deal for him.

[DishLady]

Hahaha. Yeah, I guess it is.

[bowenw]

*Holds the door open for you* 😅

[DishLady]

❤️❤️❤️

[bowenw]

😊😊😊

[Friendlybro79]

You either made an impact on him or it's something else. You couldn't just ask him and find out. We're just guessing

[DishLady]

I'm going to ask him -- was supposed to today but we each got caught up with things at work and missed our meetup time. I just wanted to try to rule out a few things.

[Friendlybro79]

Good luck. If you ever want to know what one man or any person is thinking, my recommendation is to not assume anything or try to figure it out by interpreting what you think that person means.

You have this suspicion and it would have been known you immediately his reasoning if you just said in the moment. Hey I appreciate XYZ. What's brought on this new you?

[Friendlybro79]

That came off harsh. Lol. It was not supposed to sound harsh.

[worldscolide]

It's possible he likes you, or someone had a coming to Jesus talk with him about his manors.

[DishLady]

Hahaha.

[Stevepro68]

Maybe you drew the attention of his boss and he was told that it's a barrier to promoton or salary so he is changing.

[DishLady]

No. He works for himself.

[exitseven]

He is afraid you will beat him up.

[DishLady]

Hahaha.

[spartan55]

You're still dealing with that clown? Ugh...

[DishLady]

Hahaha.

Yeah, but from a distance. I’ve assigned him to a team member for a task he pushed his way into. Don’t worry about me.

[spartan55]

I always worry about the DishLady. Especially since she is blissfully unaware due to wearing ear buds everywhere...
😂

[DishLady]

Nah, I don’t anymore. Just an armor made of military-issued dishes. 😂