Guys, why would a man become overly protective?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has recently become extremely over protective. He feels I should tell him everywhere I go. He doesn’t like that when I drink it can be too much. He says it’s for my safety but I feel he just doesn’t want anyone else to have me.

[Finchie40]

Most people will say he is insecure , but that’s usually not the case , especially if he was t this way with you before. He might be overly protective of you because of your behavior and your actions , especially if you are all of a sudden going out more with friends’ and drinking more as well. So he might be worried that something bad might happen to you or that you possibly might be up to no good. So before you start pointing g fingers , ask yourself how would you feel if your boyfriend was doing these things to you all of a sudden , like going out with his friends’ more without including you , or drinking more and doing stupid things that he claims he doesn’t remember? How would that make you feel? So before assuming your boyfriend is insecure , always wear his shoes before wearing your own and think how you would feel if the tables were turned

[Asker]

I didn’t start doing these things all of a sudden. He started with this behavior all of a sudden.

[Finchie40]

Then it sounds like he is the one that is up to no good , especially if you never changed. Usually when a partner is up to no good they point fingers at their partner before pointing fingers at themselves first , to give them an excuse for their selfish actions or behaviors So if your boyfriend is all of a sudden being overly protective of you and getting upset at you over things that you have always done , then he is the POS that is trying to play a victim instead of taking accountability for his selfish actions or behaviors , Basically he is trying to mold you into being the bad one when really he is the bad one. Don’t let him know you are on to him but if I was you I would closely look at his actions and his whereabouts when he is not with you , he might be investing his time into another girl. without your realizing he is. So to bust him , you have to play it like you don’t know anything , and that you aren’t on to him

[Anonymous]

Ok well if you drink too much sometimes yes as a man I wouldn’t feel ok w it either. Two my girl always tells me where I go cause I love her. In case something happens I know where to start looking. Doesn’t sound like he’s being overprotective to me. One reason he might start being overprotective all of a sudden is if you’re talking to another dude or something. But in general what you’re saying to me isn’t being overprotective. He’s being a man which is to take care of you, look out for your safety, protect you. Now if he said I want you to start putting this tracker in your bag or on your car that’s pushing it.

[George-ks300]

He knows what other guys and men think of and percieve you , he is protecting you from them not being insecure.

No one behaves without a motivation and we become over protective the more we are in hostile environment and you will be vulnerable for serious harrasment.

For me I agreed with my love that I completely want her to be happy and do what she wants to do as long as it's Is rational and she is free to wear what she wants but if we are in places where she is being tracked with guys and men looking i can't feel comfortable at all because I know they look at her body.. jealousy is a normal thing and jealousy is not the same as insecurity at all.

Jealousy is just when there is a rational causations for it.

Except that I am the one that make her sure that I only do that when there are bastards around , I recommend her outfits when she asks me whether she wants to wear the clothes she couldn't wear back then when we were in unsuitable places

[RavVid]

If to 'have you' you mean to have sex with you, exclusivity is a fairly normal attitude in a couple.

If you think you should be free to get drunk and have sex with other guys randomly, then I think he should do himself a favor and break up with you.

If you give him reason to think you may do that, than you should break up.

Most people people in a relationship self mate guard. Sounds like you don't. He should move on.

[Asker]

What I said has nothing to do with your response. Where did you get all of that from what I said

[RavVid]

"I feel he just doesn’t want anyone else to have me". 'To have me' is usually used in a sexual context so I questioned what you meant by that and said IF.

Some do do consider themselves to be free to have sex with others outside of the relationship. If 'To have me' meant something else then the rest of the reply is not relevant.

[i_Jedi]

A man might become overly protective because he cares deeply and doesn’t want to lose the person he loves, but sometimes it comes from insecurity or fear of being replaced. It can be sweet when it’s about keeping you safe, but if it crosses into controlling behavior, that’s when it becomes a problem.

[Asker]

Does it sound as if he can become abusive?

[glennos89]

Can be 2 things...

1 He is a dude that wants to take total control of your lifestyle ( often when they show narcistic behaviour

2 He can't thrust you because you're behaviour hasn't showed him that you can be thrusted fully when other men are around

[HermanL]

Most likely because he doesn't remember why you chose him. And insecurity crept in as his heart started to need you. Maybe he is scared to see you go, because at this moment, he doesn't' know how to love himself. So he is protective. He should let you go drink and play around. Eventually, he will find himself back, and you may have found yourself too. Good luck. H.

[AgentG111]

If that's the way you feel then I believe you need to leave him as you seem to be wanting to be with others! Completely based on that last statement!

[bowenw]

He could have a controlling side that is rearing its ugly head. It could be the result of him being jealous, having a lack of trust, or having low self confidence.

[Jay-_-]

Well if I love a girl I wouldn't want anyone to have her either, that's my red flag. So I don't get in a relationship unless she knows 100% what's coming with me, not ever woman is ready for that.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Over protective is him hiding his insecurity.

Being protective is normal but when it goes to being too much is because he actually doesn't trust you so its his way of controlling you.

[MJVillarama]

There’s a fine line between protective and controlling, sounds like it’s starting to blur.

[Anonymous]

He probably likes you a lot, but some of the requests seem like overkill.

[Likes2drive]

Maybe he cares about you so much it’s because obsessive but he obviously loves you

[RedInnocent69]

He likes you. And he’s jealous