How would you feel if a guy or a girl sent you this message?

[Anonymous]

”I'm just not content right now. I'm literally just keeping to myself. Im adjusting to all things/changes in my life.”

[ProbablyClueless]

Frustrated. Because it would be yet more of the same old lack of effort and emotional unavailability that I've dealt with so many times before. How frustrated I'd be depends on how long into the connection she told me.

If she said this from the outset, I would be frustrated, but I wouldn't be mad at her. If she told me like a year in or whatever, I'd be pretty ticked.

It's not fair to build a perfectly good connection with someone, everything is going great, then suddenly have some weird little freak out and talk about not being able to handle a relationship.

[Asker]

But what if the guy can’t define the relationship after being asked multiple times where you stand just for reassurance if it’s just friends or whatever within an eight month period of talking and hanging out and going to dinners, etc.

[ProbablyClueless]

In that case, it’s just reciprocation of effort. The guy is being emotionally unavailable for you. So, you sending that message is just protecting yourself.

[BriamG22]

It really depends on who it is, if its a friend of mine I'd be really concerned, probably try reaching out and checking in regularly.

If its a girl I had just started seeing, I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt but in reality I would probably be thinking she's trying to break things off. I would also probably find the ridiculousness of the excuse hilarious.

The message doesn't make sense for someone like a wife or a long tern girlfriend; but if I did receive something like that from a long term girlfriend I would most likely be stunned or freaking out.

[Asker]

But what if it’s someone you aren’t dating but been in each other’s lives for about eight months and hung out dinners, etc., but necessarily anything wasn’t defined. But we’re talking to each other for eight months straight.

[BriamG22]

To me, this smells a bit fishy, it could be possible that things were starting to get a bit too serious for him and he's got cold feet. Another possibility could be that he met someone else and he wants to go all in. Either way he's using mental health as an excuse... I apologize for putting or reinforcing these thoughts or concerns.

But I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt. Ask him, what does he mean? Does he not want to see you anymore? Tell him you understand he needs space but you would like to be there for him where possible since he's going throgh a tough time. If he says he doesn't want to then I think the answer is pretty clear right? If he's truly struggling he would want a person; with whom he shares intimacy, to be with him or calling him from time to time, he would want it or at least think about it, I know this from experience... If he's outright declining and not even contemplating or considering... Let's just say something feels off...

We need to also take into consideration how sudden this was. Has he had episodes before? I'm assuming that there was daily communication and frequent meetings, were there any signs of his depression? How was he the day before he sent the message? Of course, we shouldn't conclude based on the spontaneity of his mood shift because there could have been an event that triggered it. However, taken in totality with the other factors mentioned, it could give a more complete picture.

I think the most important thing now is to move forward with care and caution, because we are merely speculating a possible deception. In the case that he's truly suffering, it could be dangerous. For now, try talking to him, show him that the can easily reach out, try checking in frequently. When the timing is feels right, drop the question I mentioned and see how he reacts.

[Asker]

I just requested to follow you

[Asker]

Accept so I can tell you a bit more 🙏

[Ninania]

Compassion, cause I've definitely been there myself. I respect and appreciate the honesty and heads-up that their behavior is about their own thing and not in response to me and whatever relationship we have.

[DrPepper12]

Netflix n chill?

[Stefan04]

She’s not interested

[Asker]

But what if they couldn’t define the relationship? What does that mean?

[Stefan04]

Well they say they aren’t content (satisfied) but they’re unable to define where they’d like to be in a relationship standing. I think it sounds like they are searching or waiting for different options.