How are you going to manage this problem?

[msc545]

You've woken up in the morning next to the woman you picked up in a bar in a drunken Haze last night and discovered she's actually fairly ugly. She wakes up and is nicely making you breakfast. She is also talking about what the two of you are going to do for the rest of the day and chattering about taking a road trip to a romantic location. How are you going to manage this problem today?

[DrPepper12]

I'll let axl and the boys explain...

Wake up late, honey, put on your clothes
An' take your credit card to the liquor store
An' that's one for you, and two for me by tonight

I'll be loaded like a freight train
Flyin' like an aeroplane
Feelin' like a space brain
One more time tonight

I'm on the nightrain, bottoms up
I'm on the nightrain, fill my cup
I'm on the nightrain, ready to crash and burn, I never learn
I'm on the nightrain, I love that stuff
I'm on the nightrain, an' I can never get enough
I'm on the nightrain, never to return, no

[msc545]

That's a very interesting post but I'm not sure it solves the problem my friend. Any other ideas?

[DrPepper12]

I'll let axl & the boys explain...

I'm a cold heartbreaker
Fit ta burn and I'll rip your heart in two
An I'll leave you lyin' on the bed

I'll be out the door before ya wake
It's nuthin' new ta you
'Cause I think we've seen that movie too

[msc545]

Yeah, I think that summarizes it nicely.

[Sevenpointfive]

be nice but be realistic. apologize for being an absolute asshole but she has to leave.

this would never happen to me. i would never have sex with someone that i didn't want to know more about them.

is this common? i know people will screw just to scratch an itch, but do women not care at all? do you think that a lot of women have standards?

[msc545]

I am sorry, but what are these "standards" you speak of?

[Sevenpointfive]

standards are moral boundaries you set for yourself, but they are kind of universally accepted as categorically low, medium or high.

[msc545]

I just checked on my own after you told me this. And you know what? I decided they're probably fairly low. Please don't tell anyone.

[Sevenpointfive]

how do you feel about that? it's weird how perceive ourselves and what we actually do. it can be hard to not be hypocritical.

[RandomGirl42]

I would resolve the problem in a true and honest approach by getting entirely, fubar, drunk again. 😊

[msc545]

That's a really good solution but what if she still wants to take you someplace and she wants to drive?

[RandomGirl42]

Oh, that's fine. She can drive my drunk ass around all day as long as we keep stopping at liquor stores. Eventually she'll either kick me out for throwing up in her car or she will be beautiful enough to me again so that I don't really care. 😊

[msc545]

Well that actually makes a lot of sense except that it might be that you are not quite drunk enough, but she still wants to have sex with you back in the trailer that is being towed behind the two of you on your road trip. Then what? She's still ugly.

[RandomGirl42]

Wait. What? Road trip? Where? I don't even really like travelling and I'm not leaving my home state 'cuz it's a crazy world out there and I wanna' just stay home nice and safe and warm so just stop the car and let me out right now! Well, stop by the liquor store first. Oh, why did I have to go and get drunk with an ugly chick?

[msc545]

So you wouldn't go on the road trip?

[RandomGirl42]

No. I learned my lesson here. I'm drinking at home.

[Anonymous]

Most guys would probably have sex with her again that morning

[msc545]

Yeah, that might be true, but keep in mind that she's nuts. And that makes her dangerous.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah most guys won't care until after they've ejaculated

[msc545]

They will when they get the bills.

[Staximus]

I've worked at a few bars, and I've had more than a few drunk women want to take me home. Usually I had to stay long after they left and close the bar down. I never take drunk women home from the bar. One thing I've learned working at bars is that you never know how drunk somebody really is. They could be acting only slightly drunk but actually be blackout drunk and not even remember what the hell happened last night. The last thing I want to do is wake up next to a girl and have her ask "who the fuck are you"? and freak out. I always told them the same thing, which was "come back and see me tomorrow night if you remember me when you wake up". A couple of them did but most of them did not.

[msc545]

Well yeah I appreciate you relaying your experience as a bartender. That is very enlightening. However, in this particular hypothetical case, let's just pretend that you weren't very careful and you kind of took her home anyway and then woke up to this. So like what do you do?

[Staximus]

I wasn't the bartender, I was the doorman. Now if the drunk girl is a girl I already know personally then I will definitely fool around with her if she wants to. But a stranger? I would just say "sorry, I have to go to work" and bail out.

[msc545]

Well, probably I should have been more detailed than the initial description, but number one. The girl wasn't known to you. Number two. She looks pretty good when you were kind of out of it. A little bit. Number three. When you woke up in the morning you realized she was actually relatively ugly. In fact, so ugly that you were repulsed with yourself that you would even brought her home but now there she is and wants to go on a road trip. What do you do?

[Staximus]

Just tell her to hurry up and leave because I have to go to work. I have two jobs, I would most likely have to go to one of them anyways

[msc545]

She's going to stay and when your girlfriend comes over they're going to have lunch together

[msc545]

You think this is different for bartenders and doormen or about the same?

[msc545]

I'm asking about this because I aspire to be a doorman or a bartender or maybe just a drunk girl.

[Staximus]

Bartenders definitely pull more girls because the doorman mostly interacts with the girls on the way in before they are drunk. The bartender on the other hand interacts with them the whole night while they are getting drunk. Plus the doorman is seen as an obstacle that must be passed to get to the alcohol, and the bartender is seen as way to drunkenness.

[msc545]

Thank you. That all makes sense. It sounds to me like the bartender is in a lot more danger than the doorman actually. I would never have thought about that until you told me. Thank you.

[msc545]

I've given up on being a drunk female and I am planning to apply for jobs as a bartender. That should be interesting considering I don't drink at all.

[Staximus]

Most bartenders are raging alcoholics. That's why they're bartenders, so they can drink on the job. A sober bartender is good for the profit margins. At one of the busy bars I worked at in Orange county, the bartenders made about $100 an hour on Friday and Saturday nights

[Staximus]

That was like 15 years ago, I'm sure they're pulling down a lot more now

[aaron13547]

Tell myself I need to stop drinking and make better decisions... I've never been in that exact position because alcohol isn't my drug of choose. But for me drugs were my way of not caring about myself. Caring about other people was/is my gateway to learning to love myself...

All problems are fixed by looking within.

[capriVib]

It's a one-in-a-billion scenario for me, but let's assume it happened. I’d just say I’m busy today, leave, and never call her again.

[Ariesman81]

Why it gotta be the ugly ones who act right?😞

[msc545]

That's a good question that I've often pondered. I think it's because the only chance the ugly ones have is to act right? And hope you'll appreciate it. The really good looking ones act like bitches because they can get away with it and you'll still have sex with them and buy them drinks..

[Ariesman81]

Yeah... that's why 8s and up are only side bitches.

[msc545]

Yeah exactly. They aren't going to stick around anyway anyany way we don't want them to. Too damned expensive and high maintenance for my taste. I can get a better looking more skillful hooker for a lot. Less money and grief.

[Ariesman81]

I mean you aren't wrong, but what if unicorns do exist?

[msc545]

If unicorns exist then all bets are off. That means that you have to be able to identify the unicorn as actually being a unicorn and then you also have to impress the unicorn with your sincerity. That's a lot to do!

[Ariesman81]

Whoa. Hear me out here. What if you can't actually impress a unicorn? Meaning, trying to impress a unicorn actually has an adverse effect.

[msc545]

Well, you have to make a decision about whether it's worth taking the chance. I think that's an individual decision. In my case, I would not take the chance, but that might not be the right decision for you. Best of luck if this ever happens.

[Ariesman81]

Well, that's why there's insurance. To alleviate risk. But to mandate that a healthy 26 year old pay for something he doesn't need to fund an illegal alien is where we have issue.

[NathanDavis]

guess I'll go to AA... asap

[slatyb]

I would never have that problem. Ewwww.

[msc545]

What makes you think you're immune to this problem?

[exitseven]

Start drinking again.

[msc545]

That would work at least for a short time, but eventually you would need to sober up I think. And then what happens if she's still there? That seems likely unfortunately.

[exitseven]

@msc545 maybe she would sick of being with a drunk and leave on her own.

[msc545]

Your optimism in this is just overwhelming. I wish you were right but having been in this situation myself I can tell you she didn't leave easily or quickly. Can you think of a way I could have made that happen?

[exitseven]

@msc545 I would eat a lot of beans.

[msc545]

I'm pretty sure that would definitely work or any alternative. If you didn't have any beans, you could just start talking about politics or some other pleasant topic and that might do the trick too. I know that when I talk about politics people tend to leave. Also, when I start talking about some of the stuff I saw when I was in school, people definitely not only leave but usually vomit soon thereafter.

[Titlover01]

Tell her your more into one night stands