How to deal with being an autistic girl with a mild intellectual disability and people thinking guys are going to take advantage of me?

[Anonymous]

I am high functioning autistic and have a mild intellectual disability as well and I am always shunned from hooking up because people think guys will take advantage of me. Why is this true? I can consent to sex but people will still think a guy would take advantage of me because of my disability when I try to have casual sex. That is why every guy blocked me when they found out or could tell about my disability. Why am I shunned for having casual sex because of my mild intellectual disability? I know what I’m getting into. Why in society they don’t want them having casual sex?

Updates

6 mo

And also by mild intellectual disability it means my iq is around 75 with adaptive behavior problems what do you think of that and casual sex?

[Reapous]

Society is very quick and aggressive and making men the bad guys whenever possible nowadays, so it would be 10x easier to misconstrue his intentions given your current circumstance.


I’d say to just be honest with them first. Let them know what you got going on and a bit about yourself and what you’re capable of doing. Honestly and being genuine is always the best way to approach things.




Also, is it just with sex or is it a general challenge you face in life?

[Asker]

It’s a little bit of both.

[Asker]

And how would it be 10x easier to misconstrue his intentions given my current circumstance? What do you mean by that?

[Reapous]

@Asker nowadays everyone feels entitled to defend/speak on behalf of peoples and groups they see as lesser/more susceptible than themselves and are quick to rash judgement. For you, at first, they’ll see “Man tries to fuck autist” or something egregious like that.

Society already has made up their mind on what they’ll see from the outcome, it’s up to YOU and YOUR sexual partner on how to navigate that situation.

[Asker]

And what does society think of man tries to fuck autistic?

[Reapous]

Because they view autists of being completely mentally incompetent and unable to make decisions for themselves.

[AngryCarl2]

Well guys will take advantage of you. Guys will take advantage of any girl, which is why most girls master the skill of rejecting guys gently at an early age.

But if your problem is more that guys don't want to get with you it's either because they'd rather not date someone with a lower IQ, or they don't want to be vilified for grooming a vulnerable person.

Have you ever considered dating a fellow autist?

[Asker]

Yeah mabye but what do you mean by being vilified for grooming a vulnerable person? This happens a lot?

[AngryCarl2]

I can't see why it would. Your IQ isn't so low that you can't work, drive a car or maintain a relationship.

[bowenw]

I think it is exactly what you say, that guys are worried they may be accused of taking advantage of you even if you give your consent. I suggest getting to know guys before discussing hooking up so they know they don't have to worry.

[Asker]

Ok yeah I can do that. How long do I get to know them for? And I can tell them about my disability?

[bowenw]

I don't think there is any set length of time, but I would think a few in-person meetings of a few hours. Less or more time may be required to get to know someone. You could tell them about your disability if you feel it is relevant. Please feel free to DM if you wish.

[bowenw]

I have no idea how a mild intellectual disability affects a person sexually. I kind of doubt it does as sex is more of a primal activity.

[jahaims]

Because healthy people realize casual sex isn't healthy. Basically you are too stupid to realize you get used as a cum rag

[Daytoday79]

Autistic folks are often very smart. I wouldn't worry about a guy trying to take advantage of you.

[Asker]

Aww good I also have a mild intellectual disability. So that’s even worse with like causal sex?

[Daytoday79]

I'm not sure what you mean by intellectual disability? I know that for some autistic people it takes longer to learn things but they're still really smart. They are just focused on specific things that interest them. I'm just talking about myself though. It was just harder to make friends.

[Asker]

It means a 75 iq. What do you think of that as far as casual sex?

[Daytoday79]

Could you follow me?

[Asker]

I followed you